Now ordinarily I’m a reasonable person who believes in the golden rule and that there is some rational mechanism driving the universe but if this keeps up I’m going to take up practice of the dark arts so I can find out what’s happened to MY DAMNED SOCKS!!!
I was doing my spring sock roundup yesterday and sitting there on the floor was matching sock to sock thinking all was well with the world, when it occurred to me that at the end of the sock rodeo I had 10 matched pairs of dress socks and 12 loners. 12 LONERS! TWELVE SINGLE, UNATTACHED BACHELOR SOCKS. Some of my best socks! Wonderful patterns! Useless and alone. Oh the humanity! Why don’t the less attractive socks ever decide to leave home?
It got so bad I caught myself thinking “Well these are kind of close. Maybe no one would notice…UNTIL I CROSSED MY LEGS AND THE “DORK HOOK” CAME OUT TO DRAG ME AWAY!!” Sigh.
I had to take action! A whirlwind of frustration and quizzical fury possessed me! I don’t believe in sprites and fairies or leprechaun or borrowers so there had to be some rational explanation.
Let’s see…
Check the backs and sides of the washer and dryer . No socks.
My children are a 14 year old girl and a 10 year old boy so they didn’t borrow them.
I’m single so there’s no significant other, sock movement issue to consider.
I don’t have any pets that could drag a sock anywhere.
I don’t have nesting rodents as these usually leave some “evidence” of their presence.
I’m assuming socks can’t go down the washer drain so that’s out.
No school craft project that would involve my socks has been on horizon of late.
Hmmmm… if a sock was accidently in the kid’s laundry (clean laundry thank you) that went back to my ex’s house when the week was over would I get them back? Hmmm… maybe not, but even this wouldn’t account for -TWELVE- missing SOCKS!
No explanation. It’s magic . Black magic. Bad bad Mojo .
Then I realized how petty. There are people starving somewhere in the world and I am working myself into a lather about cloth coverings for my feet. I don’t know where my socks are and I never will. Buy some more. Get on with life. Sadder and no wiser about the ultimate fate of my socks but dealing with the loss. The healing has begun! Thank you MPSIMS for being my Dr. Melfi!
