I was having ice cream with a friend of mine who used to work with me (grocery store deli) I’m 19/white/male, she’s 19/white/female. First, a little background:
My friend and I worked in a Publix Deli for about a month together. Though she left, I still work there. The deli I work in is mostly black… something like 25 to 5. I have a blast working with the crew, and couldn’t care less what they look like. Now back to the story.
We were talking about things to do in Tallahassee. The Cow Haus, a sorta punk hangout, is near FAMU (Historically Black University). When I said that, she shuddered, and said “Oh… I won’t go around there.” I stopped and asked, “Have you ever seen FAMU?” “No.” “You’d be surprised. It has a much nicer campus than FSU.” “Yeah, but it wouldnt be worth it for me” she says.
I asked her why she felt that way. She said that she was unable to easily relate to black people. I mentioned several black girls our age who work in the deli, and she said she’d never felt like they had enough in common with her to talk.
This has been bouncing around in the back of my mind for several days. I thought to myself, thats the biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever heard. I talk to them all the time, and I find that we have lots in common to talk about…
High school experiences.
Current college experiences.
Our respective relationships.
What we want out of life.
Family.
Entertainment.
Etc.
There’s almost no area I can think that we are all that different, except for how far we trip the light meter on a camera.
I can’t figure out if she was making an ignorant statement to cover for either conscious or unconscious, or if she really has a genuine difficulty in finding common grounds with someone due to their high melanin concentration.
I’d say a little of both. It’s called “prejudice”, meaning “pre-judging”. She already assumes she wouldn’t have anything to talk about with black girls, so she won’t even try.
I’ve hardly led an insular life, and my experiences have caused me to have social relationships that span a wide spectrum. Work experiences hardly cover all of it, but I will say they’ve contributed and your gal pal is missing much if she can’t get down with her fellow cow-orkers.
But I don’t know the whole story. She may be more shy than prejudiced. She may have other misconceptions that are not necessarily tied to “race.” Perhaps her misgivings are more cultural?
I wouldn’t entitle this thread “black chicks and white chicks.” It has nothing to do with chicks. It has to do with bigots. After all, she doesn’t relate to black guys either, does she?
It it all too easy, I fear, for us yankees to forget that Florida is in the deep South. I learned this while traveling in diseal truck down an un-named dirt road, while my friend’s ex-boyfriend chewed chaw and told racist jokes. He was more than annoyed when I asked him to stop using the “n” word in my presence. Luckily, my friend dumbed him and moved on. To a human.
And of course, everyone in the South is bigoted. And, we all know that the rules about prejudging people don’t apply when making assumptions about people who live in the South.
Growing up in the Air Force (and particularly going to school on an Air Force base), you made fast friends with whomever happened to be in your class say, past winter break. Regardless of race. When I went to junior high (off base), it was with a pretty well-mixed and well-adjusted set of kids. (All in Texas, BTW.)
Then I went to high school in Louisiana.
I was trying to find someone to eat lunch with, looking for a group that was neither too large nor too small. And maybe this white chick did subconsciously pick a table of black chicks due to most of her friends at her old school being black.
“Hey, can I sit here?”
Blank stares at first, then, “Why are you trying to sit here?” or something to that effect. At first I thought they were simply rude. The folks who finally did welcome me to their lunch table explained that no, it was in fact that my melanin level was too low. I eventually caught on that it was okay to talk to the black kids who were in honors classes or in band. But that was about it.
oh please. of course not everyone in the deep south is a bigot. but, ill never forget driving down to see the red sox in spring training, and stopping at a gas station for directions, and the guy behind the counter giving directions for driving through ‘niggertown’ and giving me this utterly terrifying and compliticous grin while he was doing it that chilled me to my very bones.
people dont speak to each other like that where i come from. what the hell am i supposed to think after something like that?
Well, my thought would be “What an incredibly bigoted jerk. I want to get the hell out of here.” It wouldn’t be “Gee, where I come from, I have never heard anyone speak to me that way. Therefore, everyone in a multi-state area surrounding this gas station must be as bigoted as this simian.”
I live in Savannah, Ga., and we have a very diverse culture both racially and religiously. We have a large Jewish, Catholic, and Wiccan community here. We also have Gullah people and Scotch-Irish, and there students who attend the Savannah College of Art and Design who have purple hair, tattoos, and all kinds of body piercings. And yes, we do socialize together. My children go to public school and are being taught to respect all opinions. And no, I don’t have a car up on cement blocks in my yard, no one in my family chews tobacco or dips snuff, and we do have indoor plumbing, thank you very much.
I know you were probably thinking some rabid Southerner would jump in this, but really, I have lived outside the South, and racism is just as bad in other parts of the country!
That’s pretty much pre-judging on your part, don’t you think?
I will admit that there are still areas and small towns where time has stood still, but the entire South is not all the same.
Well this has nothing to do with black chicks, because I can’t recall ever having an opinion one way or another on them. But then, I don’t get along very well with chicks of any race. I’ve always related better to men. (which is why you’re one of my closest friends )
But Rashad, who’s like the love of my life/best friend in the world, is black. I relate to him just the same as I would any white guy. Skin color means absolutely nothing to me. And the guy I met the other night at the gas station was hot as hell, and he’s black. Maybe I’m prejudist about white guys? I think I just love men of any color too much…that might be my problem…
I just remembered this, and thought I’d add it as an afterthought. When I was in Tallahassee, I worked at that McDonalds right by Centerville and NE Capital Cirlcle, out towards Killearn. Out of 50 employees or so, I was the only white person there. You’d better believe I put up with my share of shit…personally, I’m surprised I’m NOT racist after working there.
Is that what our much vaunted public school system teaches today? That’s insane- some opinions are idiotic, frankly, whether they involve prejudice against an ethnic group or blaming whitey for all the world’s ills. As in most things, the truth is somewhere in the middle.
I am half hispanic and half white but, I look a “white”.
I am amazed at the stuff I have heard.
It reminds me sometimes of the Eddie Murphey skit where he puts on ‘white’ make-up…
and let me tell you, both sides are equal in racism.
I grew up in El Paso, where most of my pals were half something and half white (army base). I never experienced ‘racism’ per say. to me, it was natural to have black friends, asian friends, etc.
it wasnt until I moved to Dallas that I realized how prejudice some people can be.
Well, Tedster, you got me on a technicality, so I will clarify - by respecting all opinions I meant to listen to everyone’s side, not agree with everyone. I agree that some people’s opinions are dumb as a box of rocks, but I defend their right to have it.
Yes, I also agree with the OP about the whole situation. My overall point is that racism exists everywhere, far beyond the geographical borders of any region.
There are still plenty of red-neck good old boys down here, but there are plenty of Archie Bunkers remaining up north!
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