I’ve really begun to realize how segregated cliques are in our society. Most people’s groups tend to stay within one race, and there are especially big chasms between white and black. So, those of you who are white/black, how integrated are your friends?
Currently, I have no black friends. People I work with, yes. Acquaintances, yes. But no friends. And I kinda miss the last one, who was black, gay, and one of the best drinking buddies I’ve ever had.
Blacks are in somewhat short supply in my neck of the woods, but I do have friends who are of nonlocal ethnic groups.
I don’t really understand the process of making friends. For me, they’ve always sort of come and go or stayed and never really seem to have much to do with race or gender upon attaining the friendship. Perhaps, I’ve been lucky enough to meet open minded people or I simply don’t notice the ones that drop off. I’ve had friends from most of the basic categories, although, I always feel like I could dive deeper into another kind of person, but then I remember, (not to be slint), race probably doesn’t mean much other than, of course ,the possible factors of cultural influence and environment, which nowadays, seem to be leaving those bounds.
I have a few black friends, but more Mexican friends (granted, not a huge feat for someone who lives in Texas)
White, with a large % of black friends. It’s a simple case of demographics. This rural community I live in is close to 50/50 B/W.
Your question caused me to look at the snapshot of last year’s Christmas party we hosted. Counting faces, there were 17 guests: Nine black and eight white. I understand that it’s probably not that way in urban areas where people don’t know and trust their neighbors.
There is the small fact that I live in a medium-small town in Northern California, and there are probably about 10 black people here. So no, I have no close black friends. My little girl has become very good friends with another little girl in her Sunday School class, which is nice, but I only know her grandparents, who are white. She didn’t come to my daughter’s birthday party because of a family thing that day, so I haven’t been able to get her over to the house to play yet, but DangerGirl likes her so much that I’m hoping to. (Not, obviously, so that she can be our Token Black Friend, which I might be sounding like here.)
I have actually never lived anywhere with more than a few black people since I was pretty short. I know more Mennonites and Hmong people than black people, which I guess kind of shows you the sort of place I live in.
Oh, but when I lived in the dorms in college, my best friend there was black and from East Oakland. She laughed at me a lot for my hopeless naiveté, took me to clubs, and gave me an undercut. We had the same taste in music and she wanted me to date her cousin, who was admittedly pretty cute, but also had been a drug dealer or something, which was just a teeny bit far out for me.
I’ve noticed it before, races just clump. Well, minorites. At my recent orientation for school next year, most of the incoming class had never met each other before. There were a little over 500 people, but all the white kids stuck together. The few black people there, all 3 or 4 of them (in ATLANTA?! really?!) stuck together. They didn’t know each other previously, I asked. Then, all the Asians got together. By this, I mean the Asians who had never met before hung out with other Asians. Be it Indian, Korean, Japanese, Taiwanese, Chinese, whatever - the Asians met up with and talked with Asians.
It was so surreal, I just sat it out.
Check out this website: www.blackpeopleloveus.com. Warning: not for the humor-impaired.
I’m white and I don’t have any black friends. There are very few blacks in my hometown anyway, so that is not surprising. However, I have had Indonesian and Arabic friends and aqaintances. My great-aunt and her branch of the family is black, too, (we had a mixed great-grandmother) but I never knew her very well.
I don’t have very many friends, and they’re almost all online, so I don’t really know. I might be the token white guy, for all I know.
Sure, yeah. And Hispanic friends and Asian friends and Middle Eastern friends…
no Eskimo or Aborigine friends, though.
Not here in Spain, since I don’t know any blacks socially. I’m tentatively making friends with one of my new neighbors who’s Saharian.
Had black friends in the US, but between then and now I’ve had several email-less periods and we lost touch.
I’ve had one very close black friend since the 2nd grade.
He’s been hanging out with us White folks for so long I think he’s lost complete touch with his Black culture.
Back when we were in our 20’s I actually had to explain to him who Barry White was. THE HORROR!
When we were kids; he was the ONLY Black kid in our neighborhood. So it was either hang out with us White boys or not have any friends at all.
Other than that I have beer drinking buddies that I might run into when I go to my local watering hole, but nobody I’m particularly close with.
I live in a pretty culturally diverse area and have often had black friends and dated interracially as well.
Thinking about this made me realize, though, that although I can easily name five or six work friends that are black, the people I hang out with the most are all white. I’ve been the token white friend at more than a few of my black friends get-togethers, and vice versa, but pretty much all the black friends I have now are coworkers.
I am white, but the part of London I live in is more than 50% black. My church is about90% black. So yes, I have a lot of black friends.
This is a weird question. I’ve evolved to the point where race doesn’t matter. It’s all about the way you present yourself. If you’re intelligent and can carry on a decent conversation with me in English (cause I can’t speak anything else), make jokes and be a productive person, I don’t give a crap what color you are.
If you are uneducated, non self-deprecating and on the offensive, well, we’re not gonna be even acquaintances regardless of anything. I just don’t tolerate idiocy well. I don’t like stupid people.
Almost ten years ago now we bought our current house and there was a black family that had bought kitty-corner to us around the same time. They are just a typical American family, working and raising their kids and the mom is one of my dearest friends. Now, and I hate to say this, but, had I been met with “ghetto talk” or the like upon our first meeting, I doubt I’d love her as much. A person just has to be an equal for a friendship to thrive.
And I do love her.
private note here to her “Sweetie, who exactly do you think is gonna pick up the garbage that the garbagemen left behind? It’s been on your curb for almost a month, I’m pretty sure they’re not takin’ it. Please pick it up and throw it away”.
Do you realize how hard that is to say to someone you love???
In my group of “people I am most likely to go to plays or concerts or have fondue parties with” there is one black woman. I consider us friends, but she is much closer to the rest of the group and socializes with them more. And my daughter’s best friend and my surrogate daughter is black, but she’s my daughter’s friend, not mine…I’m just Mom. None of my black coworkers in the past have become friends, but that probably more of an age thing…they were all early twenties. I had several friends in college who were black, but we never kept in touch after. So basically there are but two black people in my life, and one more aquaintance in church choir.
My close friend whom I’ve known since I was 2 is black. If his dad hadn’t worked with my dad I would probably never have a black friend, though. I don’t meet many black people in my neighborhood, at work, or at school.
White guy checking in here. I do have a few black friends though not as many as I have white friends and not as close. I guess there just aren’t as many black people running around in the social circles I frequent.
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