Who amongst you have actually taken a snake on a plane?

Unless it is one charming motherfucking pig.

Well, I thought it was funny.

It was, my good man, oh it was.

(apparently, unspeakably funny)

I’ve taken a gecko on a U-Haul. I know, not even close.

Some years back I had a coworker who bought a baby ball python. She didn’t want to leave it at home all day so she wrapped it in her hair like it was a ribbon. The snake was warm and cozy, so it stayed put. She did this for three or four days until somebody noticed it moving. Hilarity ensued.

I wanted to work a “Penis Ensued” joke in here somehow, but I got nuttin’.

In 1998 I flew on a plane with Oliver North. Does that count?

Sailboat