Who are the bad pennies that keep turning up in your life?

Most people have one. My ex is the bad penny who resurfaces months or years after I think she is finally out of my life forever. It was a bad break-up and an unhealthy relationship. In hindsight, I realized she was actually quite mean to me and now I understand why my friends didn’t like her.

She dumped me and I asked her not to contact me. She kept calling. I told her repeatedly and explicitly: “Do NOT contact me!” In fact, if she had respected my “no contact” wishes, perhaps we would friends now. She never respected my wishes, opinions, or me when we were together, so she just ignores my wishes now.

After months of silence, when I would think she was finally leaving me alone, she would turn up: “Don’t you miss the way we used to talk?” (Answer: “No, no I don’t.”) We have nothing in common now, at all. Even if I agreed to coffee, we’d have nothing to talk about. She’s married now, so she has someone else to talk to.

She started using her father as a ploy to get me to take her call. I was close to him; he considered me a son-in-law. She would call me at work and leave alarming messages: “It’s my dad. Call me back!” I thought she was calling to say he had died. But really she just wanted to go out for coffee.

Her dad finally passed away last year. She invited me to the family-only service, but was nasty to me at his wake. The last tie was severed. I never thought I’d hear from her again. (Finally!)

Six months later, she left a message at my work number: Can she “borrow the car for a couple weeks?” It was originally hers, I bought it from her when we broke up… in 2001! She has no claim to it now. She also has a car and her husband has a car. The car is the new excuse to contact me?

Given the way she treats me, she obviously doesn’t like me, so why, why, WHY does she keep turning up every six months???

A guy I knew in the Navy by the name of Bubba. Bubba is (or was) extremely high maintenance, since he was about 350 pounds large, could fight, and liked to drink. He considered me a friend; I considered him an acquaintance and usually an annoyance. After the military, I figured I’d never see him again: wrong. He shows up working for the same contractor as I, stretching his resume to claim being a carpenter, when he’s actually a metalworker. We end up going out on jobs together and he continues his rowdy ways. I saved his job for him after he punched out a diplomat in Bulgaria, but I’m not sure why I did so. Fast forward a few years and I run into him again in Germany. He’s working for the Embassy and gets canned for a DUI, which costs him his security clearance. Since then, he hunts me down every couple of years, calls, promises to stay in touch, then I never hear from him until the next time. Usually he just calls to brag about his new job or something, but knowing Bubba like I do, I figure it’s 90% bullshit.

Because you keep talking to her? If you really, really don’t want her to contact you ever, then there are 4, and only 4 words you should say to her from now on: “Don’t contact me again.” That should be followed by a firm hanging up of the phone, closing of the door, etc. As long as you say anything more than that or give her any more attention, she knows she still has you.

Vlad/Igor

You people.

Actually, I have done just that. Only it was closer to “Do not ever fucking contact me again in any form.” I do not respond to her atempts to contact me.

I have not answered the phone when she calls my work number in over two years. I have changed my home phone and cell numbers and they are now unlisted. I got a new email address and have her email blocked just in case someone gives it to her. I never respond to anything. (It’s like defending against a stalker!)

That’s why I find it so unbe-fucking-lievable. She still tries to get in touch.

Her only way of trying to reach me now is to leave a message on my work voicemail. The system is set-up so even if I change my extension number she can find it through the directory, though it takes longer. I delete her voicemail messages unheard. I only heard the begining of the one asking to borrow the car because my hands were full and it took me a few moments to hit “delete.”

I was quite astonished that she tried contacting me again.

I have/had an oddball acquaintance like that. Another bad penny, but I haven’t heard form him in a few years, so I think the “turning up” is over.

“Larry” is someone I met only once about twelve years ago. He was diagnosed as Bipolar I when he was a teenager. He’s high-maintenance, but harmless. Somehow Larry got my old email address and every year or six months, he would sent me a short message updating me on the goings on of “Suzanne.” Example/ “Suzanne moved to Washington and writes for Such-ad-Such Magazine.”

Suzanne is a business acquaintance. We had only ever discussed business by email, and so I only ever met her in person once, the same day I met Larry. She and I didn’t particularly get along (for no particular reason), but we were all polite. I changed jobs and never had the occasion to contact her again.

Larry had dated her when he was younger. No one knows why, but for some reason, Larry believed that Suzanne and I had an affair, that she had broken my heart, and I was tormented and pining away for her. The vibe I got from his messages, is that he was essentially trying to stalk her by proxy. I never responded to his messages and I never contacted Suzanne.

One day, a good 8 years after meeting them, Larry sent a message that was far more detailed. It had Suzanne’s home address, where she worked, and her work number. This was a bit too creepy. He was giving her personal info to strange men on the intnet! So this time I wrote back, “Thank you for the update, Larry. However, I’m not in touch with Suzanne and have not seen or spoken to her in several years. I’m no longer working in that industry and won’t need to contact her.”

Fearing I may have caused an escalation, I did contact her this time, just to let her know the situation in case there was any danger to her personal safety.

I guess she took care of the problem. I go one angry ranting message from Larry and never heard from him again. (And Suzanne is safe and sound.)

Then there’s the guy who’s been stalking my daughter since about 1989 or so. I think I finally got rid of the mortarforker, but would not be surprised if he pops up again at some point. Last time out I threatened him with the cops, and, if that was ineffective, with a personal visit.

Kenneth Widmerpool.

I am so incredibly well read.

Ok, nemmine, then. She’s certifiably Full Gonzo Nucking Futz. My parents had a bad-penny of the innocuous-but-still-
bothersome variety. This was someone my father worked with briefly early in his career, but who for about 20 years afterward sent my parents a wedding anniversary and christmas card every year. It got to the point where we’d all look for his card, and then watch my parents roll their eyes. They didn’t reciprocate, didn’t want to stay in touch, and finally didn’t tell him when they moved to another state. A few years ago I saw his obit in the paper, but I don’t think I ever told them.

Vlad/Igor

That’s really weird. An associate of mine works in Quebec and lives with her partner. She had a heart-broken ex-girlfriend who, for about 10-12 years, sent her a single, withered red rose on her birthday with a card that said something short yet really creepy, like “Requiem for a birthday…”

“Deanna” and her partner bought a house. For all they know, the people at her former address still get a rose every year.

But at least that can be explained as “heart-broken psycho.” Some guy that your father worked with briefly… You wonder how he got so attached that he sent cards for 20 years.

I have had a couple bad pennies show up, but one comes to mind very quickly. I knew him when we were kids. We pretty much started hanging out when I was 15, and he was younger than me by about a year. We’ll call him - Joe.

I really liked hanging out with him. My family took care of him a lot, since he had some family issues. His father had been in trouble when he was younger and his mother lived half-way across the country. He lived with his grandmother. When I was 16, we often went to thrift stores and bought shirts and such, one day I came back and found money was missing from my parents house. They asked me, and accused me, but as soon as I said he was alone downstairs for a few minutes while I ran upstairs, they let up on it and said I shouldn’t bring him around anymore.

I confronted him, he told me he hadn’t taken it, but for the next for weeks he had money (and no job). I got angry when he made comments about how hard it was to get money from his family for anything, and how he wanted to borrow some from me for lunch, then after lunch went and bought cigarettes with his own money and figured I just wouldn’t have anything to do with him anymore.

When I turned 18, I worked day shift, so I spent a lot of time going out in the early evening to drink with friends who worked the same shift as me. My good friend and I went swimming down at a pond, met up with a few other people, and went to his parents. He mentioned that he ran into Joe the other day. I thought nothing of it. That weekend, we were hanging out at the same house and he showed up at the house. It turned out that he’d stayed down there the day before, and was there today, and so I left. The next day, said friend explained that he took Joe into town to drop him off that night, and noticed his money from his car was missing. It had been in the glovebox, inside a little altoids tin, and Joe was left alone in the car while they stopped to get gas.

I figured I wouldn’t want anything to do with Joe again. I moved away to college and didn’t think about it. I transferred to another school at the end of the semester, and my mother called about two days later. Her house had been broken into and the person took money, food, and a cell phone. The phone was used to call Joe’s father 45 minutes later, and his grandmother about an hour and a half later, before it was shut off by the phone company once it was reported. The police said that was not enough evidence and said they couldn’t question him.

I thought that if I ever saw this guy again, I would kill him. He dropped out of high school four weeks before graduation (right after this happened) and I never saw him, until I was playing guitar at a pub in town and he showed up. He begged me to let him stay that day, since he wasn’t sober and “couldn’t go home” because of his family. I told him no, but another person there knew him from high school. They let hims tay in their dorm, but the next morning, they were missing a large amount of property. Joe took the playstation 2 and xbox in the front room, a big collection of cds, and the university computer in the commons area. He also took food out of the fridge and stole another roommates wallet.

This penny showed up one more time, last Christmas day. I was at my parents and heard someone walking around - it was about 4:30 am. I got in town at 3 after I got off work, so there was hardly any noise in the house. My parents were asleep, so I walked slow into the dining room. There was a rustling noise, and I assumed I’d heard a cat, but figured I should get a drink since I was right by the kitchen. I turned on the light and there he was. He’d busted the lock on the back door and came through the kitchen, but heard noise and freaked out. I held him down and hit him once, mostly just because of all the things that had happened. My father heard the noise, called the police, and started coming downstairs with a bat. He turned 18 and was tried on breaking and entering. I figure that one of these days he will turn up again, and it makes me very unhappy.

Brendon

George Bush seems to be in my face every damn day.