Who broke your heart?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Hmm… not too depressing a post… we’re all still here talking about it, right? [/slight hopefulness is so cute in the truly naive]

Her name is Heather. I write about her in poems still, but I’m past the whole “Why why why” stage now… oh and the “I can’t live without her” junk.

Think what made this hard with her was we were together a long time, there was a lot of messing up on both our parts (ie. cheating) and the whole “we started dating in High School” thing. after 2 years of university, it was on the rocks. After 4 years (3rd yr univ.) it was over. Except it wasn’t. She finally came to live here in my city (she lived in halifax at the time, I’m in St JOhns) and of course, all the waiting/expectation I had built up was totally let down. I did flunk out that winter term, got back on condition basically because of wanting to spend the summer with her, and literally on the first night I saw her she goes “I have somethin to tell you… we can’t do this” and there you have it.

Its been 3 years I think since then. In between, there was about 2 years of “I’m ready”-“I’m not” between us both, never being in synch. She’s dating a guy who she cheated on me with now. All the power to her.

And for the past year I can honestly say (all poetry to the contrary) I can live without her. if she ever came a-knockin’ on my door “Take me bacK” I think I’d say no. I think. Its confuising… she still wants “us to be friends” which is easier said than done most of the time, esp. considering the whole dating “mr. sleazeball”… but from time to time, when I see her, she turns her head the other way or whatever. Don’t give jai the wrong idea, type thing.

Ugh… and tech-chick, I can totally relate re: dreams. I’ve got a series of poems called “Dreamscape”, of those 4 directly relate to real dreams I have had about Heather.

Anyhow… Take all your strength of arm, and heart, and brain, folks… you’re the survivor, broken heart or not, and life’s awfully short to waste it on someone who doesn’t know what they want.

Regards,

jai Pey

22

Who broke my heart? You did - You did!

Shoot that poison arrow through my heeeeaaarrrt!

:: running away ::

I have chainmail underwear.

23

I’d rather spend my time thinking about the person who mended my broken heart.

I also realize that the broken heart was the best thing that ever could have heppened to me because of who I have now.

So I thank them both…

Yer pal,
Satan

http://homepages.go.com/~cmcinternationalrecords/devil.gif

TIME ELAPSED SINCE I QUIT SMOKING:
Two weeks, six days, 17 hours, 18 minutes and 25 seconds.
828 cigarettes not smoked, saving $103.60.
Life saved: 2 days, 21 hours, 0 minutes.

24

My first girlfriend. You know, the one I’m always on about… She broke my heart, and I still haven’t fully healed after all this time.

25

Yeah I was once head over heels in love with a schitzophrenic. Her name was Kristen. We got broken up abruptly and on odd circumstances (we also met in odd circumstances–long story). It devistated me at the time but I am a much different person now. Now that I think back on it the sex was pretty good. But there are plenty more fish in the sea to hook-up with the booty daddy.

26

Duane broke my heart.

27

His name is Michael. He has the most mesmerizing steely-blue eyes. I’ve had many boyfriends, two fiances and I now have a husband and I still get that same feeling when I think about him. Not even any bitterness. Just that same overwhelming feeling. I have no idea where he is now and that’s really a good thing since my husband would probably kill him for the things he did to me. But I would really like to know how he’s doing.

28

The first man to tear my heart out and do a little jig on it was Jake. I met Jake while I was a junior in high school, and he was a senior. We were both into the same things, theatre, mock trial, speech, quiz bowl. One day, I happened to sit with him and some other people at dinner after a mock trial competition, and after that, I was totally infatuated. I got him hired at the same store that I worked at (my mom was the manager) and we got to know each other really well, and became pretty close friends. Well, he considered me a friend. I was totally head-over-heels in love. So, one night, a year after we had become friends, I decide to confess my love. Well, he chooses the exact same night to tell me he knows how I feel about him, but guess what! He’s gay. This totally floored me, I grew up in a tiny town in Iowa, and I had never even met a gay person before. I was devestated. But, I was one of the first people he ever told, and he said that he needed me to support him, and be there for him, so I said I would. Sometimes I wish I hadn’t, because it was the most difficult period in my life. I ended up going to the same college as him, and the confusion and pain and depression in trying to stop feeling that sort of love for him and converting it to friendship lasted a good 2 years. I’m basically over it now, it’s been 3 years since I left that college, and we’re still good friends. I spend those 3 years taking a complete break from the world of love and dating.

Heartbreak number two, James, was last week. It was far less devestating than the Jake ordeal, but the wound is still pretty fresh, not to mention the fact that he was the first man I attempted to woo after Jake. I met James three months ago at a bar. He’d a DJ, so he’d be at this bar Wednesday nights for Ladies’ Night to mingle with the crowd and do prize drawings. So, I chatted with him a little on Wednesday nights, and a few weeks later, circumstances arose where I had to call him, and I took the opportunity to ask him out to dinner. He accepted, and we had a pretty good time. I saw him again a few times at the bar, then we went out again about a month later. I REALLY liked this guy, he was funny, intelligent, cute, we had a lot in common, and I guess I got my hopes up, but it was all for naught. A month passed, I saw him at the bar a couple times, he SEEMED like he was still interested, but I guess I’m the queen of misinterpreting signals, because he never called. After seeking the advice of friends, I thought perhaps he was insecure about calling me, he seemed to have kind of a nervous personality, and so I thought I’d be totally honest, tell him that I liked him, I had a great time with him, and that I’d like to go out again. Well, he informed me last Tuesday that he didn’t feel a “spark” and that he’d prefer to remain friends. So, for the past few days I’ve been alternating between depressed as hell and a weird sense of relief, since I spent those two months on an emotional roller coaster, I mean, I was a basket case. Blah…I’m thinking I’ll just say screw and and become the crazy cat lady the kids are scared of. Fuck dating, I’ve had enough. Now I’m going to go put in a Chris Isaak CD and curl up in the fetal position.

29

how deliciously ironic that this topic should come up this week. I have a really long pathetic lame story to tell, but it’s not done being written yet. The heart is still in one piece for the moment, but the tear is getting deeper as we type, but it’s not complete yet.

Better an empty heart than a broken one, say I.

30

Hmmm. What an odd night for this to come to my attention. Tonite was prom night for my old high school, and my old flame. And as I typed this last sentence, “Died In Your Arms” by Chicago came on Winamp. Hah! Anyway, tonight is prome night for my old high school. My old flame was there tonight, with her new flame. I ‘loved’ her for about three years, and she never returned it. In the end, I think, we were closing in on each other, but I decided this is it, I’m done, no more. And I quit her. I haven’t seen or heard from her in probably a month now, and probably three weeks before the last time, too. I’d say I’m quite well over her now, but it took enough pain to get here.

I was reading another thread when the songs “Brown Eyed Girl” and “To Be With You” played on Winamp. When I left the thread, I saw this one. THen I remembered this was prom night. Odd freakin string of events.

As soon as I heard those songs, I wondered what Jeana was doing. Then, I remembered I don’t really care. Good for me.

–Tim

31

I hear that, brother…

My fiancé of two years left me for someone he’d met at a party two days before. But looking back, it was the nicest thing he ever did for me, cause my self-esteem had been so eroded that Id never have had the courage to leave him.

Weird, huh? He made my life a living hell, yet because I was so convinced that no one else would ever want me, I couldnt bear the thought of life without him.

Oh yeah, then there was my best friend of eight years who Id been in love with off and on, who suddenly broke off all contact with me two years ago without any sort of explanation. Im finally angry instead of miserable. Go suck an egg!

But heres some irony for you…Ive finally learned to look at a person instead of a checklist of qualities, and Ive recently found a wonderful caring person, who just happens to fulfill almost everything on my old list!

32

I met May online when I was 21, we met a few months later and were together four years. She had moved out to the same school I was going to get her masters two years into the relationship, and after she got the degree she decided to move back to NY. We both agreed that trying to maintain the relationship long distance probably wouldn’t work again. So we broke up, I thought I’d be able to handle it. About a month later, I was hit with the worst depression I’ve ever felt, and it lasted a long time. I still occasionally feel depressed when thinking about her, though we talk occasionally, and are still friends, its over and I know that. She is the only girlfriend I’ve ever had, I’m too much a nerd and socially awkward and inept to easily find another.

33

I met a guy in a chat room. I didn’t think it would go anywhere so I lied to him about my age and what I look like. Yes, that was very wrong I know. This went on for a year and a half. I fell in love with him and we finally met. While knowing what I look like we slept together and I got pregnant. He then said he didn’t want to be with me. I had no other choice but to get an abortion I can’t raise a child by myself. Then after I had the abortion he thought he would try again. I loved him so I agreed. We don’t talk anymore. I know it was my fault that I lied to him, but I wish he could of decided just to leave me alone after he had met me then I wouldn’t of had to ruin my life at such a young age. My heart physically hurts when ever I think I him. I still love him.

34

sigh Brian. . .

35

I’m sorry, ThisYearsGirl. I was unaware that I broke your heart. If there’s some way I could make it up to you, say a threesome with my currecnt girlf-OUCH!

Okay. Nevermind, ThisYearsGirl. Sorry, Drainy…

Yer pal,
Satan

http://homepages.go.com/~cmcinternationalrecords/devil.gif

TIME ELAPSED SINCE I QUIT SMOKING:
Three weeks, one day, 23 hours, 33 minutes and 51 seconds.
919 cigarettes not smoked, saving $114.91.
Life saved: 3 days, 4 hours, 35 minutes.

36

Andy B, 1981. If you see him, feel free to deck him.

37

Got him for ya, Lisa. Knocked that sucker out cold. He never knew what hit him.
What? Andy B?
Oh, shit… :confused:
Peace,
mangeorge

38

“Her name was Ann, and I’ll be damned if I recall her face… she left me not knowing what to do”.

39

OK. Step aside. Drewbert has a sob story to tell.

Friday, February 4, 1996. 7:30 pm or thereabouts. She enters the copy shop where I worked at the time. She’d come in to make a color copy of a map of Chapel Hill because she was planning on moving here from upstate New York and wanted a nice small map of town instead of the big foldy one she had. She chose our particular shop because we were the only place in town with a self-service color copier. (Incidentally, we also were likely the Universe’s only combination copy shop, balloon delivery service, and tanning salon, but that’s another story for another day.)

She comes to the counter and I ring her up as she asks where she can find more information about the area. 45 minutes later we’re still chatting, and she invites me to join her for coffee a couple doors down when I’m done with work.

Pam and I end up hanging around together for the next week or so. She was perky and beautiful and touchy-feely, and obviously attracted to me, a revelation for this nerd-turned-cynic who had managed to get all the way through high school and college without so much as an actual date. It was enough for me to ignore her interest in astrology and her political views far far left of mine.

At the end of the week, she drove to Asheville in the mountains of North Carolina, to visit a friend and take a look at the town. The plan was that she would drive back to Chapel Hill for a few more days before returning to New York, and would move to Chapel Hill permanently around Easter.

But she never returned. As I found out in a postcard she sent in March, it had snowed in Asheville, and she used it as an excuse not to drive back to Chapel Hill. While she was there, she decided that she liked Asheville better than Chapel Hill, and would be moving there instead.

That was the last time I ever heard from her. Ever. (Though the following May, thanks to Directory Assistance, I had a brief and quite awkward conversation with someone else living in Asheville who had the same name.) In retrospect, at the time I probably was too shy and reserved for someone as outgoing and affectionate as she was, and I’m sure she could see how I hesitated instead of joining in her spontenaity. But, dangit, I’m different now! really… pout

So does that count as heart-breaking? If it is, it happened gradually over the course of several months as it became clearer and clearer that she was gone…

40

Interesting - the one who broke my heart used to live in Pasedena, and now lives in New Glasgow. Small continent… :slight_smile:

Esprix