Finally at the age of 40 plus, I decided that I’d really like a set of fine china that I picked out and completed on my very own. For the past twenty years, I have been using the china my grandmother left me and it has been used at every special occasion as it is a complete place setting for twenty. I have cared for it and it remains in good shape but it was never really my taste.
When I found a beautiful pattern on sale, I purchased 16 place settings and now will work on buying the other pieces such as the gravy boat, sugar and creamer, salt and pepper shakers, bowls etc.
Since I am currently in the middle of getting a divorce, I am updating my will. I have the option of making changes and adding bequests. Currently my daughter gets my sterling silver cutlery and the china set I inherited from my grandmother. I feel this new set should be addressed due to its value and am not sure if I should give this to her as well or leave the newer set to my son.
In generations past in my family, the females got the jewelry and china and the males got the coin collections, guns and other manly things from their fathers. My son will be lucky to get a thing from his dad and his step dad really has nothing of of value to give.
Currently my son gets all the jewelry given to me by his father including a very nice diamond set that is worth a decent amount of money so it really all will be as equal as it can be.
The money has a trust fund for my daughter which expires when she graduates from college and then everything is split down the middle as far as cash assets.
Agree with the previous posts - ask if either actually wants one of the sets.
I know my mom asked me if I wanted her china set when she heads into the great beyond and the answer was a resounding ‘No!’ I don’t care for the pattern - it’s Old Country Roses and doesn’t appeal to me at all. My niece, on the other hand, loves it, so she gets it. I get the tea pot and tea cups because I collect those, but all the other pieces go to my niece.
If you’ve got 16 place settings, why not split it up and give each child 8 place settings? Unless they have huge families or otherwise do a lot of entertaining, using 16 settings of fine china at one time seems like it would be a very rare event these days. If I were hosting something that big, I’d probably have it catered…
I will guarantee you that the one who says “I don’t want it, give the china to my sibling” will eventually say to the recipient “how come YOU got the china? It’s worth money and now I want it.”
If the daughter is already getting the grandmother’s set, you should offer the newer set to your son. Does anyone really want two sets of fine china? But I agree to talk with him. He may not care or want it.
I like this. Talk to the kids, give them a choice, one of them can get all 16 places, or it gets split between them if they can’t agree. Possibly neither of them wants the dishes, so box them up and put them away for your grandkids. Or prepare a Greek dinner and say goodbye to the dishes.
If you’re not going to use grandmother’s set and your daughter will, maybe you could give it to her. I’ve got my mother’s original set, which can’t go to the dishwasher; her new dishes are dishwasher-safe (I handwash; my kitchen is tiny and at most there will be 2 people in the house for more than one meal at a time, so when I redid the kitchen I didn’t put in a new dishwasher). And while I do like having little mementos from Dad and Abuelita which I got after they died, I also appreciate specially the items Abuelita gave me in life, the memory of how that gift came to me.
Give them one set apiece. From the sound of it, neither child is of an age to appreciate, let alone actually use a set, so you might want to revisit this later, perhaps giving each a set as wedding presents (then you can have the fun of collecting a third set for yourself!)
Such a traditional china set will probably depreciate near 99% in value as soon as you bought it. Just look for how much an old but not antique 16 place china setting goes for on E-bay.Around 100 bucks for an complete set. Just like you, no-one wants to use an inherited set that is not quite to their taste and doesn’'t go well in the dishwasher or microwave.
So I wouldn’t make myself any illusions you are creating a valuable heirloom here. You are spending a lot of real money, on something you will enjoy maybe 15 times in your life, and move house about 2 times. And that is fine if that is something you want.
It is really the same with diamonds, your other planned heirloom. As noted in this interesting essay.
I would never split them up. We have a big family and the china is used at least twice a year. (I also have christmas china that is used just once a year). With the new set of 16, they will all be used with the kids eating off of regular dinner plates.
Understand that the big family dinners with the good china are most likely YOUR tradition. These days, the big dinners are served from foil pans and eaten off paper plates.
Hand washing a sixteen place setting set of china after a big dinner is a dwindling practice. Unless your children are already living in houses with huge kitchens, there simply isn’t ROOM for all this dishwashing!
Moving is another consideration. Every time I’ve moved, I’ve had dishes get lost or busted. I don’t even KNOW what happened to my silverplate.
The reality of today’s lifestyle is that those nice heirloom pieces are outdated. I think the prices shown on eBay reflect this perfectly.
That being said, give each kid a set of dishes, and let it go. What they decide to do with them will be their choice, not yours.
~VOW
I don’t believe fine china will ever be outdated but maybe I am wrong. I found the sugar bowl of my grandmother’s set going for 130 dollars on replacements ltd with requests for many of the pieces I have. I also saw one knife on ebay from my silver set that sold for 33 dollars.
I’d like to think my children will carry on the tradition of formal holidays just as I have from my mother and grandmother but even if they don’t, I suspect it will increase in value and don’t want fights breaking out over a royal doulton saucer.
Maybe in some families, but my friends and I all enjoy pulling out the nice dishes for family dinners and when friends come over. No one uses paper unless it’s a kids birthday party or something.