Who is Cecil? Does he really exist? I think he’s an eccentric millionaire, not unlike Howard Hughes, only better dressed. He had a big plane that he thought could fly but couldn’t. He’s probably a giant shampoo magnate unlike the world has ever seen. But then, when you meet him, he’s a little shorter than you expected.
A hush fell over the courtroom, killing six.
It is really best that you do not ask.
He likes not being known. Asking questions can only lead to trouble.
The last poster who asked, does not post anymore. I leave you to determine why.
Jeffery
There is no Cecil.
“Cecil” is a corporate identity character, much like Tony the Tiger ™, Speedy Alka-Seltzer ™ or Charlie the Tuna ™.
“Cecil” is actually a consortium of Korean businessmen, with US holdings including HMOs, industrial scrap and salvage, low-grade plutonium storage facilities and daycare in the deep south.
You must remember the commercials from the late 50’s on the old Dumont network, featuring a claymation Cecil, with his hapless sidekick Ed Mumschutz (later changed to Ed Zotti for legal reasons), hawking “Old Kent State” filterless cigarettes…
Launcher may train without warning.
Who is Cecil? Who are you? Who am I? Who are any of us, really? What is the Meaning of Life? Can I have some non-stick Pam on my sandwich, Mom?
All wonderful, important , insightful questions, Breckinshire.
Now shut up.
:rolleyes:
It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether I win or lose.
To question Cecil’s existance heresy!
Repent! Have Faith! or burn for eternity in the BBQ Pit! And to ask this on MPSIMS! Ask for forgiveness before it’s too late (it may already be) My He show you mercy!
A Believer!
Who is John Galt?
Now with 1000 posts of pure wisdom!
(or something)
Cecil is the leader of all the UFO’s that have ever been seen in the world. He doesn’t even drive a car. He has a rocket. He did the crop circles over in England for a joke on his birthday. Silly question!!
“The more hours people use the Internet, the less time they spend with real human beings.” Norman Nie, a Stanford political scientist on results of his study of the Internet’s impact on society.
I got a quick glimpse of Cecil once. I noted that he looks very, very similar to that Unibomber picture(the one with the hood and glasses).
R.J.D.
All right Breckinshire, since you seem to be a well meaning and sincere person, I will tell you who Cecil is. No one else is allowed to read the following.
Ok, now that we’re alone. I am Cecil. Yes, you heard right, I really am Cecil. Don’t bother to question me, I am Cecil, you simply have to accept this. Even though I am only 19, I really am Cecil. The columns that were written “before” my birth are simply an temporal illusion caused by the sheer immensity of my intellect. Worship me. Sacrifice goats to me. By the way, don’t tell anyone else this, they won’t believe you if you do. They’ll all think you are crazy. I will contact you later to tell you what you must do…
Slug must have some idea. The mortarboard guy in the pictures captures his personality.
Who is Cecil? What is Cecil? Cecil is as the ebb and flow of the tides, as the solar wind dispersing the cosmic dust, as the pulsating cells of the brain. Cecil is the smile on your child’s face as he or she contemplates the knowledge in a brand new encyclopedia set, and the bill you receive for them afterward. Cecil is the dragonfly that soars on bejeweled wings, and the frog that catches the dragonfly as it zooms too low over the pond, and the alligator that eats the frog as it suns itself on a lily pad, the gator-wrestler who kills the alligator, and the heavy beer stein that smashes in the gator-wrestler’s head during a bar brawl in Baton Rouge. Cecil is as the molecular structure of our DNA, and also as the molecular structure of Grandma’s spinach-Velveeta soufflé just before it collapses, and the cheers of jubilation that follow. Cecil is the structural defect in your ice cream cone causing it to break and spill Rocky Road all over your new pants. Cecil is the physical laws that make airplanes fly, and also the physical laws that airplane designers occasionaly forget, causing devastating crashes. Cecil is the cockroach that refuses to die no matter how hard you stomp. Everything is Cecil, nothing is Cecil. Cecil is in all of us, Cecil is in none of us. Contemplating Cecil’s nature leads to cosmic enlightenment, and also migraine headaches.
Does this answer your question?
An infinite number of rednecks in an infinite number of pickup trucks shooting an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs will eventually produce all the world’s great works of literature in Braille.
That was really beautiful. Words like those reaffirm my shaken faith in humanity.
So, uh, wanna have sex?
A hush fell over the courtroom, killing six.
An infinite number of rednecks in an infinite number of pickup trucks shooting an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs will eventually produce all the world’s great works of literature in Braille.
Sorry to butt back in again, but it just occured to me that I’ve never actually had to use that as a response to a pick-up line in real life… back to your regularly scheduled Cecil-contemplation.
An infinite number of rednecks in an infinite number of pickup trucks shooting an infinite number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs will eventually produce all the world’s great works of literature in Braille.
Cecil looks like Michael Douglas.
Wow NTG! That was a great description.
I was just going to say read the FAQ http://www.straightdope.com/faq/officialfaq.html , but you covered it much better than the FAQ does.
Maybe we can get that added to the FAQ. (Ed, oh Ed).
Here I thought “Cecil” was just another incarnation of NightGirl44/Phaedrus/The Finder/Mikeylikesit/etc. ad naseum…
Sweet Basil
Didn’t get voted for a damn thing!
(thanks guys…)