Ugh, I can’t stand ay of them. The first Rush Hour was the only thing even remotely watchable…and not rewatchable.
I think Keanu Reeves might qualify here.
To be completely fair to Keanu (who is a mediocre-to-poor actor), he is in at least four movies that are enjoyable either in spite of him or because of him, which people will remember fondly, whether HE was good or not: Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Speed (only the first one), The Matrix (only the first one), and Constantine. The Matrix sequels are arguable, but I thought they sucked, and not because of anything he did or didn’t do. But whereas Van Damme has two enjoyable movies (Bloodsport and Hard Target) and Seagal has one (Under Siege), I’d still put Reeves in a class above them.
Some peoples have made some points saying Statham isn’t nearly Segal bad, and many of those points are vaild. However,
Uh, Lou, you can’t even imagine how much credibility you lost with that one statement. Granted the movie had some excellent action sequences, but they were strung together with a ridiculous plot, horrible dialog and acting on par with 2nd grade nativity scenes. Dying illegal immigrants in a storage container, yawn. Between that movie and Wasabi I have given up on Luc Besson entirely.
So back to the OP, I now nominate Ray Park as the new Steven Segal. Statham can be the new Bruce Willis.
PROS:
Great action sequences (including the best car chase ever, even better than French Connection and perhaps The Blues Brothers)
Good lead actor (who can act AND fight AND looks the part)
Cute heroine/damsel in distress (even though she is obnoxious)
CONS:
Silly plot, especially the second half (I’ll grant you that)
Bad dialogue (but most action movies don’t benefit by being written by the likes of Quentin Tarantino, David Mamet, Aaron Sorkin, or Shane Black)
I’m willing to forgive The Transporter for a lot. I still argue that it is a much more entertaining movie than the Matrix sequels and Star Wars prequels.
I’d say Casper Van Dien. Bad actor, lots of straight-to-video and the occasional theater release.
Funny how some people look at a movie like Hard Target. You call it enjoyable, I assume you mean as a JCVD movie. Yet so many people rail against the movie because it is John Woos first American movie, and the begining of his suckiness.
I think it’s the best American movie John Woo ever made, because it is the closest in tone and style to his HK stuff. It’s no Hard Boiled or The Killer, but I think it works, in a sense that Mission Impossible 2, Broken Arrow, and Paycheck don’t. (I actually enjoyed Face/Off, but consider it a guilty pleasure action movie). Hard Target is also the best-quality Van Damme movie ever, as far as an actual story, setting, fight choreography, decent villains, and so on, but that was before Woo started to lose his edge.
Casper Van-Dien is a good one, but hardly anyone knows who this guy is.
How many Seagal or Van Damme movies actually went straight-to-video? Looking at IMDb, I only see one for Van Damme and none for Seagal. Anyone in this mold would need to at least have a modicum of celebrity, even if it is of a dubious quality.
BINGO. Excellant suggestion, fits all criteria. Except, in interviews he always seemed like a nice chap, unlike Segal, who seems to be a complete arsehole.
I just watched Ghosts of Mars last night. It’s my newest pick for worst movie ever. Previously it was The Punisher with Thomas Jane. Punisher pissed me off with its badness, but Ghosts of Mars is just laughably bad. It’s Mystery Science Theater bad.
Anyway, I disagree about Jason Statham. I liked him in Jet Li’s The One, and I liked him in The Transporter, although Besson seemed to not be paying much attention for that one. I’m looking forward to the sequel. At any rate, I expect good things from Statham, he just needs the right movie. I almost nominated him for a potential James Bond in the current Bond thread, but he doesn’t have enough hair. 
I also agree with you, a The Fifth Element, or The Professional sequel would rock.
DMX?
What, Point Break doesn’t get a mention? He absolutely made that movie (that and the foot chase with the thrown dog. And the Nazi surfers. And the entire plot about surfers robbing banks to finance their hobby.
“I peel the skin off of chicken, sir.”
[QUOTE=Chairman Pow]
What, Point Break doesn’t get a mention? He absolutely made that movie (that and the foot chase with the thrown dog. And the Nazi surfers. And the entire plot about surfers robbing banks to finance their hobby.QUOTE]
Definately my favorite Keanu movie. When he jumps outa the plane and tackles Swazye mid air. Whoa! Really it’s my favorite Swayze movie, too.
Let’s see…I have not seen either of the Matrix sequels (no real interest there), nor have I seen the latter two Star Wars movies, although I do plan on getting around to it one of these days.
But I sure do own a DVD of The Transporter! A fun popcorn movie. I like it. And it also stars Shu Qi. I have two DVDs where Shu Qi just stands around doing pretty much nothing, so if I’ll watch that, you know I must be a fan. (Of course, in those she’s not wearing any clothes, so…)