Worst Steven Segal movie?

Cafe Society
1

I saw this really atrocious one yesterday called Ticker[ul]
[li]a sawed-off shotgun firing, followed by an exploding shrub, complete with flames.[/li][li]a SWAT helicopter insertion onto a roof, from which they climbed down the wall and entered through the basement.[/li][li]a cop who grabbed a woman and threatened to blow her head off if the bad guys didn’t back away. [/li][li]a small suitcase bomb apparently so destructive it destroyed several blocks including even the streets and sidewalks.[/li][/ul]

Do they get any worse? I can’t say I’ve ever seen a really GOOD Segal movie.

Also, is asking for the worst Segal move the same as asking for the worst movie ever?

2

I know a guy who is a Steven Segal fan. He is so keen he can actually tell one Segal movie from another. I’ll ask him.

3

I haven’t seen any new Segal films in a while, but there was that one with Damon Wayans where Segal was supposed to be some kind of guru. That was pretty bad.

4

The one where he was supposedly an Indian or Alaska Native was particularly atrocious. On the other hand, the one where he’s a Navy cook wasn’t bad.

5

[QUOTE=Boyo Jim]
… Do they get any worse? I can’t say I’ve ever seen a really GOOD Segal movie. …
[/QUOTE]
i’ll nominate checks imdb Executive Decision as one of the better Seagal movies.

6

[QUOTE=shijinn]
i’ll nominate checks imdb Executive Decision as one of the better Seagal movies.
[/QUOTE]

Isn’t that the one where get got killed 10 or 15 minutes in?

7

[QUOTE=Boyo Jim]
I can’t say I’ve ever seen a really GOOD Segal movie.

[/QUOTE]

Above the Law was a good movie. So was the first Under Siege. And of course Executive Decision was his best role…

8

[QUOTE=Boyo Jim]
Isn’t that the one where get got killed 10 or 15 minutes in?
[/QUOTE]

Yeah. Sucked out an airplane even.

I came in to say that that was the best Segal movie ever.

9

I would have to say Hard to Kill, in which our hero wakes from a long time in coma, meditates with incense attached to accu-puncture needles, and is sufficiently healed to begin hard-core martial arts strength training.

10

[QUOTE=Wile E]
Yeah. Sucked out an airplane even.

I came in to say that that was the best Segal movie ever.
[/QUOTE]

The whole audience cheered when I first saw that scene in a movie theater.

11

I…I don’t understand the question.

There’s a continuum involved here?

12

[QUOTE=ArizonaTeach]
I…I don’t understand the question.

There’s a continuum involved here?
[/QUOTE]

It is the continuum usually known as from bad to worse.

Though there is not consensus. So far his best movies seem to be ones in which he was comatose or dead for a substantial part of them.

13

But he is comatose in all of his movies isn’t he? Oh wait you meant actually unconscious.

14

All the comments are apt, but (given the credo of this board) we might as well get the spelling right: Steven Seagal. Could a mod correct the thread title?

15

[QUOTE=Baldwin]
All the comments are apt, but (given the credo of this board) we might as well get the spelling right: Steven Seagal. Could a mod correct the thread title?
[/QUOTE]

Apologies. Usually I look these things up to be sure, but he didn’t seem worth the effort. :wink:

16

All his movies are the worst. Without exception.

The thing I hate most about this guy? He looks like, if you poked him with your finger? Your finger would sink in. Ick.

17

What was that one with the stupid plot with the rapper in it? You know, the one with the bad dialog? That was his worst one.

18

[QUOTE=Baldwin]
All the comments are apt, but (given the credo of this board) we might as well get the spelling right: Steven Seagal. Could a mod correct the thread title?
[/QUOTE]

I thought it was spelled that way but I actually didn’t care enough to look it up and just went with the consensus.

19

[QUOTE=Khadaji]
What was that one with the stupid plot with the rapper in it? You know, the one with the bad dialog? That was his worst one.
[/QUOTE]
You mean the Treach one, the Ja Rule one, or the DMX one? :wink:

In fairness to Mr. Seagal, his first couple of movies were watchable if you saw them before his meteoric descent into extreme self parody. This guide by apparent uberfan Arthur Kicker gives some indication of his worst and worster roles. iMDB says his next masterwork is in the recently completed “Untitled Onion Movie” in which he plays the role of “Cock Puncher.” Should be a good one.

20

Y’know, now I don’t care how his name is spelled either. In looking it up on imdb to be sure, I came across the list of Mr. Seegall’s entire canon of work. Jesus, that’ll sober up a drunken man in a minute.

ETA: At least in a Cynthia Rothrock movie, you got to, well, look at Cynthia Rothrock.