I have two candidates. One was an old roommate, the other is my sister.
My old roommate was a piece of work. Ray was not a bad guy, but quite possibly the biggest nerd who has ever lived. He once called up a local television news anchor in small town where both and she worked because he thought she was pretty. For whatever reason she agreed to meet him once, and he was therefore forever after convinced he had a real shot at hooking up with women he saw on TV if he just called them up and asked nice. Honestly, I wondered sometimes if he had Asperger’s Syndrome.
Anyway, Ray was such a lousy driver it would’ve been funny. Except it was scary. On multiple occasions he would be driving the two of us somewhere and was on the verge of sailing absentmindedly through red lights until I freaked out. He tended to get into the left-hand passing lane when on the freeway and just stay there. He didn’t seem to have heard you are supposed to only use that lane for passing. I asked him once about this, and he said he liked driving in the left lane. :rolleyes:
The best part was when the two of us got pulled over coming home from a party. I was four sheets to the wind, but Ray (a total straight arrow and teetotaler) was driving. The cop could smell booze fumes, but wasn’t sure Ray was not the souce, so he asked a bunch of harsh, probing questions, and started making Ray do the standard tests like counting backwards. Ray got so nervous he kept failing the tests! I kept laughing like a maniac during all this, which didn’t help.
As for my sister, I am nominating her from the ages of 16 to 27. In that span she had some sort of wreck, crash, fender-bender or crackup with literally every vehicle she drove. It started with the Ford Fairmont that was her first vehicle. She drove that off the road into a ditch. Then, driving an old truck the family had, she wiped out some guy’s fence. She borrowed my brother’s car while he was off in Europe and managed to drive that into a ditch as well. (She claimed a car coming around a corner was into her lane and drove her off the road. Yeah, right.) then she clipped the door of the garage at her apartment with the roof of her car. The streak ended with the next car after that, when she just rear-ended someone on a highway entrance ramp.