Oh, and I’m fun to talk to on the phone. Even the girl I like (who is almost the opposite) says so. Why, just yesterday I talked to someone for 2 and a half hours, and the only reason she hung up was because Dawson’s Creek was on. In fact, I had to remind her after she told me :).
What you see here is what you get IRL more or less. IRL I am pretty quiet at first until I get the vibes of who I am talking to. If I like them, I tend to be a lot chattier and more flirtatious. If I don’t, I just try and avoid them while being polite until they get really obnoxious. I don’t really see any reason to not be who I really am OL. I’m a little less sarcastic IRL though, and a lot funnier. Being funny while worrying about typos, spelling etc… is hard. It seems that by the time I finish proofreading a few times to make sure my joke will go over without being taken the wrong way, it’s no longer funny to me, so I ditch it. Just like IRL, I’m already starting to babble so I’ll just shut up now.
Someone called you a sweetie? Now that’s a heartless bitch.
[Bitter]
Hmm…yeah. IRL, I am hideously ugly, short, overweight somewhat, often wear glasses because my contacts dry my eyes out too much, and have numerous scars. My teeth were badly damaged in a car accident, and although I have already spent about $3000 on them, and will spend another $6000 this year to fix them, I don’t see the point anymore. No one wants to be near me IRL. No one ever invites me to anything, unless it is to lecture at a technical conference. No one ever speaks to me. No women aproach me, and except for one case that still stumps me (she must have been drunk) I have never been flirted with IRL. Even ignoring all these problems my sexuality ends up being a major barrier to most relationships, as I have discovered. Thank whatever God/Gods/Goddess there is that I have Fierra!
Oh, and on technical subjects, when I teach my classes and seminars, I have had many, many experienced lecturers tell me I am one of the best Public Speakers they have ever seen, and one of the most clear, patient teachers. My International clients love me, because I shift my voice to what I call “SI Mode”, where I speak slowly and steadily, clearly, in plain English, without contractions, abbreviations, or slang. And keep it up for days. Or weeks. (Note - this is much harder than it sounds, evidently, which is why our clients will often reject others and ask specifically that I am the one to train them).
But aside from that - most people would not hit their brakes if I walked in front of their car. Better to eliminate the freak from the World than to let it live and (possibly) breed…
But here - oh here, I’m “Una/Anthracite - the Lesbian Coal Goddess”. I have had a lot of “fan mail” from men, and a surprising amount from women, who claim that they would want a relationship with me sight unseen.
I’m sorry, but I don’t buy it. All I have been in my life is abused, mocked, laughed at, and tortured. There are very few people who accept me as I am - the rest would just mock me and attack me. Fine by me, the first 32 years of my life was that way. Why change now when I’ve had so much fun thus far?
[/Bitter]
I don’t need any more e-mails. I am not seeking pity (again), just telling how I feel. So the answer to the OP is yes, I think I make a better impression here. The World outside is run and ruled by external appearances. Here, it is all what is inside that counts.
{{{{{anthracite}}}}}
Now then…
I tend to be a little bit better written than spoken. However, I have also been told that my humor tends to come across better in person.
When somone asks for a description, I will give it to them honestly… what have I got to loose?
Also, I am a bit more shy around the ladies… in a weird way… I will flirt till the cows come hoome, but when a lady is interested in going beyond flirting, I usually take forever to decide to do anything. I guess it’s 'cause I’m sure I must be mistaken… why would the girl in question, whoever it may be, really be interested in ME?
So that’s me… take it or leave it.
Why is it so damn hard to believe I’m shy? I have had people at Dopefests tell me they expected me to be more talkative. I force myself to be outgoing most of the time, because it’s semi-expected of me. shrugs
TP put it well…online, no one knows my weight, or what I look like, or…anything besides what I type. For someone who has a severe problem with self-confidence, it’s easier to be online most of the time. Not as worried about someone rejecting me offhand because of how I look, versus who I really am.
And I remember Falcon dear getting a wide-eyed drop-jaw look on her face when I hugged her good-bye at a Dallas DopeFest. Does that mean she’s the shy thing she says? Well, she knows best about how she feels - I was just congratulating her on having the moxie to actually do the karaoke thing.
I’ve met quite a few Dopers by now and I’ll just add that, in my experience, they all come off a little different IRL (Silo’s post is a good reference). Not necessarily better or worse - there’re added dimensions when you can see’em and absorb their facial expressions and inflections in their conversation, not to mention the unedited quality of immediate comments and the play off of immediate returns.
Generally I’ll say that we come off better in person. I know I come off quite differently in person than I do in my print version (of course, I’m not a writer).
I come off much better online, which is really saying something, considering the tremendously high profile I have around here. (NOT! <-- This sentence is hereby interpreted for the sarcasm impaired)
I’m really not sure why. Possibly because I rarely socialize, or have a hard time finding people I respect, or, oh, I don’t know. Maybe it’s just because online, I can’t actually see the blank stares and strange looks my presence inspires.
I think I come off better in person than I do online. I’m not really shy at all, and I’m generally happy and smiling and people tend to like that.
Una – let this be known. DAMNIT.
I don’t want to sleep with you, I am pretty much a straight chick and if I do engage in extra activities there is usually a man involved, just my way.
Anyhow, know it, live it, understand it; you will always be a friend to me. I could give a rats ass what you look like. Some day I will meet you, I will and we will act like friends of long ago. You will always be my friend, damnit.
Anyhow, back to the OP, I am a mix both online and in real life. I’m jsut goofy that way.
My best friend, supposedly. I think he’s awesome in both real life and online, but most of the chicks he meets online tell him afterwards they’d rather not see him again. He’s more flirty online, and he doesn’t act all goofy and weird. In real life, he spends most of his time trying to tickle whomever he’s with. I find it cute, but most chicks don’t. Also, he opens up online, but IRL, he clams up, or doesn’t share anything personal. I’m just special though, cuz I’m his sisterlike person. We’re cool in whatever form we’re talking.
In real life I’m unattractive, boring, and shy. Online I’m unattractive (take my word for it), boring, and obnoxious.
(No, sorry, suggesting I be shy here and go away won’t work. I’m not especially cooperative in either format.)
I think I’m cooler OL, but nicer IRL.
I think the problem is that I used to be a stripping, piercing, tattooing, good music liking creature and now I’m a mom.
I am getting my tattoo removed, my belly button ring is gone, and I need to lose some weight. (I still like good music!)
I have my past, which is outrageous, that I still speak about OL. Yet now, IRL, I’m a mom and I act like it…so it’s up for interpretation.
Hmmm… I know someone like that. Has a much easier time online than IRL, flirtier OL, has a harder time IRL with women… but comes across comfortably with me from the moment we met. I don’t think he thinks of me as his sisterlike person, though. But I know he’s more comfortable with me than just about anyone else out there.
Strange how we can see something different in people we know and care about… simply by virtue of where we stand. And they don’t seem to see it themselves.
The rest of your sentiments were nice Liz, but dear? I have no idea where this came from… 
It sounds like we need to mail.
Una, no need to email, but if you wanna, you can and I welcome it anytime you want.
What I am saying that to know you is to love you for many of us. We don’t have to be lovers to love and care about one another. With that said, you could be the most hideously looking person on Earth and I wouldn’t care. That’s what I was trying to get at, OY sometimes I come across as a complete ass and don’t mean that. But know that no matter you are beautiful to me because I feel I know your real self in many ways if not personally and damn if not in the friendship way I wish I I had.
I hope that makes sense, OY!
Anthracite,
Tell you what. I ever find myself in your neck of the woods, I’ll invite you out for a drink and take my glasses off. Then you don’t have to worry about appearances, because I won’t see you, and we can just talk. Fair enough?
I think I present myself about the same OL & IRL. I have a fairly active social life (I don’t consider OL part of my social life) and people like me. Go figure.
Oh…and Anthracite? Big hugs! I think you’re very cool online, I can’t imagine you’d be less cool if we were to go have lunch together & chat. Personally as long as I have no romantic interest in anybody, I don’t care if they look like Jabba The Hutt.
Yes, thanks Liz. I also noticed you posted it at 1:59 am, so who knows…you might have been sleep-posting. 
All I was saying is what I said before - although you are very beautiful and have a great personality and some common interests with me, when I’ve posted about tempting you to the “dark side” I’ve really just been good-naturedly ribbing you is all. And I did stop doing it after I said I would, since I did not want to make you uncomfortable.
And thank you everyone else - I’m actually not down at all though, so you need not worry about me. Just being honest and posting from the heart. Although I am suffering severe Fierra withdrawal, as her Vodaphone is not answering when I call her in Amsterdam, and she has not called or e-mailed me at all. 
I like you - you make me laugh.
Tripler
You funny!