Who Married You? (that’s not what I mean-- check out the poll)

In My Humble Opinion
1
Who Married You? (that’s not what I mean-- check out the poll)
  • A woman minister, in a traditional religious setting
  • A woman (judge, mayor, friend specially ordained) in a non-religious setting
  • An ordained woman in a non-traditional faith setting (your Jedi wedding)
  • A man minister, in a traditional religious setting
  • A man (judge, mayor, friend specially ordained) in a non-religious setting
  • An ordained man in a non-traditional faith setting (your Jedi wedding)
0 voters

I got to thinking about this after I quoted a line in the “commercials” thread. Just wondering how common this is becoming.

Feel free to post the year you were married, and whether it was by a man or a woman-- but this is not required.

You can answer up to six times, to account for more than one wedding. I couldn’t figure out how to get the poll to let you give the same answer twice, though, other than posting all the options again.

Also, tell your story, if you want.

Personally I was married by a woman in a synagogue, although, interestingly, not by the synagogue’s rabbi, who was also a woman.

To perform a Jewish wedding, you need to be Jewish-- that’s it. You need a beit din to OK the union, and you sign the marriage contract. and that pretty much does it, but announcing things in front of your community is important. You don’t need a rabbi to officiate agt that.

In the US, however, if you want to not have to go in front of a judge as well, you need a rabbi or in some cases, a cantor, to perforn the ceremony and sign the secular license.

The date we wanted for our wedding happened to be two days before our rabbi’s second baby was due. However, a member of our congregation was both Jewish, and an ordained Unitarian minister (she had a ministry for mixed couples where one was Jewish, and she had the degree from rabbinical school you get when you take all the academic classes for a rabbinical degree, but not the ones specifically for working as a rabbi).

Anyway, the board approved her performing the ceremony, because while there were two other rabbis in town, one, the Hillel rabbi, had a parent in hospice, and did not want to commit, and the other was the Chabad rabbi, 'nuff said.

DH never blinked a eye about a woman preforming the ceremony, and my mother ate it up.

PS: poll closes after 6 months. Arbitrary-- just didn’t want the possibility of it being raised as a zombie.

2

Married by a woman minister of a mainline denomination in 1997, in Ireland.

3

Male ordained minister(s), non-traditional faith setting.

My wife had grown up in a Lutheran (ELCA) family, and wanted to be married in that denomination. We actually had two co-officiants, both of them male ELCA pastors:

  • The pastor at the Lutheran parish which my wife attended (and which I joined)
  • The pastor at the church-run Lutheran school where my wife taught at that time

Both of our officiants were lovely, funny people, whom I considered to be friends as well as pastors. Sadly, one of them died just a couple of years after our wedding, due to complications from AIDS.

We had a traditional Lutheran wedding ceremony/service, but we were not married in a church building. My wife had always wanted to get married outdoors, which had wound up dictating where our reception would be held, as well. We found a public country club which had a very good reception hall, but also had an outdoor area which they used for weddings: it was on a hill overlooking the fairway of the 9th hole of the club’s golf course. So, that was where our ceremony was held.

4

I think you forgot a priest (who officiated my wedding).

Not to mention an Imam officiating a Muslim wedding.

Doubtless there are more than these but they will be the most common.

5

How would you describe a sealing in a Latter-day Saint temple? I chose “A man minister, in a traditional religious setting” for that.

6

I’m collecting all those under “minister.” That’s where the rabbis are too.

I guess I should have said “member of the clergy.”

Can a mod change it, or can I?

7

You’re past the edit window (and editing one of the options would reset the poll, anyway, I think).

But, yes, I would interpret priests, imams, etc. as “ministers” (which is a more generic term), though some people might not.

8

I am not Catholic but I am quite certain my Catholic (ex) wife and her family and the priest would say the priest is not a “minister” except in the broadest terms and they would object to being called that. A priest is different than a minister.

ETA: FWIW I have been married and there is no check-box in the OP that fits. And it was just a Catholic wedding. Very common.

9

A woman rabbi in 1993. The wedding was at the reception venue, not a synagogue.

10

Cites I am finding say that (regardless of your former in-laws’ opinions) Catholic priests are generally considered to be “ministers,” in the broad sense…including by Catholics.

A cite from a U.S. Catholic diocese, written by a Catholic priest:

https://bismarckdiocese.com/news/how-does-a-catholic-priest-differ-from-ministers-in-other-religious-faiths

11

I asked my AI and it answered this:

Yes, there are ideological differences, particularly rooted in Christian denominational theology.

Priest carries the connotation of a mediating role with special sacramental authority. In Catholic, Orthodox, and Anglican traditions, priests are ordained to perform rituals like administering the Eucharist, hearing confessions, and performing other sacraments. The term implies a distinct clerical status with spiritual powers granted through ordination—someone who stands between the congregation and the divine in certain respects.

Minister emphasizes service and pastoral care. The word derives from Latin for “servant.” Protestant denominations, which rejected the hierarchical sacramental system of the Catholic Church, preferred “minister” to emphasize that clergy are fundamentally servants of the congregation rather than mediators with unique spiritual powers. This aligns with the Protestant concept of the “priesthood of all believers”—the idea that all Christians have direct access to God without needing clerical intermediaries.

That said, the terms aren’t used with perfect consistency. Some denominations use both (Anglican priests may be called ministers in some contexts). And modern usage sometimes treats them as synonyms simply for the sake of variety. But historically and ideologically, choosing one term over the other does signal something about how one understands the role of ordained clergy and their relationship to divine authority.

If you’re asking in a specific context where you’ve noticed the distinction being made, that context might clarify which of these theological frameworks is relevant.

12

I’m not really interested in continuing the hijack, but how about an actual cite from a Catholic theological source that says “priests are different from ministers?” (As someone who has been both Catholic and several flavors of Protestant, yes, I understand that the roles are somewhat different.)

“I asked AI” is a poor substitute for finding a cite. IMHO.

13

Ok:

Not sure Wiki works but added for more detail:

And it is worth noting you have no other answer than not liking the source.

14

Cites provided

15

Catholic here. Priests absolutely are ministers; they exercise priestly ministry; they minister to their flocks. Bishops are ministers too.

(There are also ministers who are neither priests nor bishops. And priests/bishops are normally called by the specific ministry that they exercise. But in a classification of marriage celebrants which runs ministers in traditional churchs, non-religious celbrants, “ordained persons” in non-traditional religions, there’s no real doubt as to whether Catholic priests and bishops fit into that classification. They are ministers in traditional churches.

16

Judge Zimmerman (male) in Waterworks Park on the Lewis And Clark College campus (Go, Fighting Penguins!).

17

Thank you. Though, I note that even your cite isn’t consistent: on one hand, it has an entire section entitled “Differences Between Chaplain, Minister, Pastor or Priest Roles,” but then, the description of “Priest” starts with,“Priests are ordained ministers…”

YMM clearly V.

18

Are you saying they are the same thing? Do you have the cites you want me to provide?

19

Married by a priest in a Catholic Church. Minister enough for purposes of the poll for me.

20

But are ministers also priests?