Your question is really, "Who really cheats more and is willing to say so on a world wide message board?" Most of us don’t know. Do guys talk about cheating with women, or vice versa? I know lots of guys and gals, and only the men would talk to me about adultery. One guy said that women “can outcuss, out-lie, and out-cheat any man.” Maybe I’m naive, but I think he was wrong.
No, my question isn’t at ALL “Who really cheats more and is willing to say so on a world wide message board?”.
WHERE DID I ASK IF ANY OF YOU HAVE CHEATED???
If you’ve read the discussion, you know I’m looking for something known, like divorce statistics.
Don’t forget where this discussion originated. It may be in IMHO now, but it IS a general question discussion.
There IS a factual answer available.
So, if you don’t have a real answer, you will kindly not answer.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Don’t know who said it first, but someone pointed out that the sex you get for free is far more expensive than the sex you pay for.
That’s a joke, right?
I suspect it’s not so much a myth as a holdover from the days when the typical wife stayed at home while the husband had a career, had an attractive secretary, went on business trips, etc. Wives then had less opportunity to cheat, and those were stereotypically with someone like the milkman.
What is that supposed to mean?
Two wrongs cancel each other out? 
Actually most studies on this show that women entering the workforce result in more cheating wives. There are more opportunities. She meets more men. She spends more time with men in the workforce. Her life becomes about her career instead of her children and she develops friendships and possible strong attachments to men she has more in common with, those she works with. The one consistent thing that I have found with the statistics is that the number of women cheating is growing, and the number of men cheating is staying the same.
No. I think he is asking if a single male having sex with a married woman is committing adultery for the purposes of this discussion.
That says to me that the likelihood that someone will cheat has nothing at all to do with their gender, but is about how much of an opportunity they have to cheat.
For the purposes of this discussion, as said earlier, since a single man cannot get divorced he is not cheating. He’s committing adultery, but he has no-one to cheat on.
No, not at all. You’re forgetting a pretty important fact, something, for some reason, people like to forget about or they just lie to themselves for, I don’t know what reason, pride maybe?
MEN AND WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT!
Men have (evolutionary wise) been dealing with temptation far longer than women have. Now don’t get your panties in a twist over that. Just hear me out. You know that women until recently have spent more time at at home than men. So men were out in the city where other women who were doing their shopping or the men were more susceptible to prostitutes or secretaries or what not. See, percentage wise, Women spent more time in the company of women, or their children. Men spent more time in mixed company. So it’s true. Men have been dealing with temptation longer than women. Now women are starting to spend more time with men, and (no offense intended) aren’t as prepared as men to deal with temptation.
It’s of course not entirely evolutionary either. Men think of sex as sex. They spend their entire early years trying to get it. Then once they have it from one woman, they know what they are getting themselves into. They prepare themselves to commit. Now, I am a guy so I can only guess about women so please forgive me if I’m off base here. I suspect that to some women sexual attraction comes as a suprise. They get to know some guy and realize how great he is. She develops an emotional bond with him (and if he’s not her husband she’s already cheating in a way) and starts to feel sexually attracted to him. Women feel this emotional bond far less frequently than men feel the physical attraction towards any beach bunny. To men, it’s impersonal. To women it’s personal. So women on an individual basis tend to have less experience handling sexual temptation. It just doesn’t happen as often as it does for men.
If I’ve offended anyone, please accept my apologies. I’m probably just totally ignorant of the whole issue. Hence the OP.
I’m not taking any offense, but frankly I think you nailed it, right here.
When you say “men have been dealing with temptation longer than women”, you’re not remotely taking into account that the two genders are not each some kind of hive mind, drawing on the experience of men and women from thousands of years past. New individuals born into successive generations discover temptation on their own; it’s almost as if they believe they invented sex. Eavesdrop around any high school in any year for evidence of that. Suggestions that women as a group are unprepared to deal with new sexual freedom because things are different than they always were, or that men in some way know how to steel themselves against temptation simply because men before them did, are just kinda silly, and unnecessary.
There are probably more opportunities for women to cheat than there used to be, and so probably more of them do. Why the need to twist that into something more elaborate?
Yes, men and women are different, in that they cheat for different reasons. The question is, given the equal opportunities, will one gender cheat more than the other? In truth, I thought that’s what you were asking originally, but with your last post, you kinda hijacked your own thread into a discussion of “why?”
(BTW, judging by your guesses about women, I’d guess you don’t know too many. No offense, but you’re going way off the deep end with some of those.)
First of all, I agree with your first statement. Women and men are different. I have never believed in the idea that “all people are created equal.” I believe we should all have the same rights and freedoms, as long as we earn those rights and freedoms, but are we all the same. Not at all.
Second, I also agree that sex is different, for the most part, for men and women. I think most women cheat because they are not getting something that they need emotionally from their husband or SO. This is a general statement, and I hope I am not offending anyone.
BUT, there is the physical aspect as well for women. Almost every man I have dated boasts that all he can think about is sex, that he could have it all day if the woman is willing. However, none of these men lived up to their words. My sex drive was always higher. So, I think there are some women who may cheat simply because they are not getting what they need physically from their man.
And last, you have not offended me at all. I found your post very insightful.
But there were still always the jokes about the milkman…
Also, until very recently, the social and economic consequences (especially economic) for women who were caught cheating were very much greater than the social and economic consequences for men who were caught cheating. So, that’s going to skew statistics quite a bit.
No, there isn’t.
There’s no requirement that if a married couple is divorcing, and one party (or both) is committing adultery, that adultery is listed as a cause for divorce. In fact, in the days before “no-fault” divorce when adultery was one of the few accepted grounds for divorce, some couples would list adultery when in fact it didn’t happen.
So that puts you right back to those statistics you’ve already said you don’t believe.
I love this and could almost use it as a sig line.
That said, I think there is a sense that the historical perspective could bear on the issue. Cultural institutions could have evolved to facilitate female loyalty and/or cheating. All in all, though, I don’t think the historical perspective is the meat of the matter.