I got into a big argument with my friend over this last night. He was pissed because he just realized that no girl’s ever kissed him before, he’s always made the first move. He takes this as a sign of rejection, because they didn’t want him enough to kiss him. But, in my opinion, if they didn’t want him, they wouldn’t have kissed back. He feels that because the ‘typical guy’ is bold and outgoing and is suppposed to initiate everything, a girl who made the first move would be a real catch. Who should make the first move at a kiss, the guy or the girl, or does it not matter? Personally, once my lips are locked, I’m not gonna remember much else anyways.
And for the record, I would’ve kissed him, if he hadn’t gotten to it first…
The best kisses are the ones no one starts, but no one can avoid. The ones that happen and develop and civilizations rise an fall durning.
That said, for the every day kisses, both parties are responcible for making them happen. Starting a kiss is a silent and sure ‘I love you!’ Of course, I’m pretty forward about stuff like that, so I may be way wrong when it comes to normal people.
It does matter in a way, in a way he’s right…never being kissed makes you feel unloved. Or at least only passively loved. Its the differnce between knowing that you’re cool enough to hang out with and nice enough to be allowed to kiss someone and knowing that they are just as crazy about you as you are about them. Its security. That goes both ways, no one should do all of the initiating.
Let me preface this post by pointing out that I’m a sad, sad, pathetic loser. I’ve only kissed two girls in my life. The first was initiated by her. She was bisexual, but thought of herself more as a lesbian. What she saw in me, I don’t know. We had a relationship for a while, my only relationship, as it happens.
The second time, it was mutual, I think. We were huddled together under a blanket outside when it was cold. Our heads rested together, then our foreheads met, and it just kind of flowed naturally into a kiss. We kissed for something like 6-7 hours, but did nothing else. I enjoyed it immensely, but it shows what a sad, sad, pathetic loser I am.
I have inititated a kiss with two boys, and I was rejected by both of them. One of them just pushed me away and said “I think you’re misinterpreting this relationship,” and the other one at least bothered to kiss me back, and then said “You know I love Emily, right?” I also asked a boy (the Barnes and Noble boy, if you’ve read that thread) if I could kiss him and he asked “Why?” I said “If you don’t want to kiss me, that’s okay.” And he anwsers with “No, I’ll kiss you. I mean, I’m not completely opposed to the idea.”
Let’s not even get into the boys I’ve asked out on dates.
I’m a big fan of the kisses that just happen…like one minute you’re talking and laughing and the next, his breath is warm under your nose and his body is right next to your and you realize that you are kissing someone.
I’ve always been a fan of the chin-cup move. I love it when someone gently cups my chin first, sort of caresses my face with his thumb, and then leans in for the kill. Slays me every time.
I love the first kiss in “Shakespeare in Love” best:
Viola: Are you the writer of plays by the name of Shakespeare?
Shakey: I am.
Viola: Then kiss me for I am not mistook.
And then they just clutch each other and kiss. It’s a beautiful thing.
A girl who makes the first move WOULD be a dynamite catch. A girl who doesn’t mind you having huge stacks of porn in the apartment would be an even BIGGER catch. And a girl who, in addition to the first two, can look past the fact that doing dishes is for me, at best, a monthly ritual would be OUT OF SIGHT!
My first kiss wasn’t very romantic: it was my high school SO whispering “Hey, gimme a kiss!” between classes. (It was a nice kiss, though.) So I figured that if I wanted a good, romantic kiss, I had to get one for myself.
So this past New Year’s Eve, I did just that. I spent a better part of the whole evening wondering if I should kiss a friend of mine at midnight. I was quite nervous, and I’m not sure if he noticed. But anyway, a few minutes after midnight, once we were reasonably alone, I did it. Didn’t think about what he’d think or say, or how he’d react; I just kissed him.
And it was great. The best darn New Year’s I ever had.
If I’d been a ‘typical girl’, that night (and the nights that followed, I might add :D) wouldn’t have been as good. I would have been waiting to be kissed rather than kissing, and who knows? The kiss might never have come. As it were, my defying that stupid ‘typical girl’ stuff helped make a good night a million times better.
Pammipoo, I’d tell you to tell your friend to ditch his ‘typical guy’ thing, otherwise he’ll never get kissed… but it sounds like he no longer has much of a problem in that department.
Kisses that just happen are, IMHO, the best. I’ve initiated many a kiss and have had more than a few initiated by the someone I was with.
The nervousness of The First Kiss[sup]tm[/sup] is exhilarating, but the realization that the person you are with really wants to kiss you, and wants to kiss you right now, well, that’s nothing short of terrific. Hell, I’m almost 28 and I still love that First Kiss[sup]tm[/sup] when I start dating someone.
The first kisses that suck, no matter who initiates them, are the “well, it’s the end of the date/night, I suppose one of us should try to kiss the other…” kiss. If you wanted to kiss them, you shoulda done it long before. This one is just awkward all around. Again, IMHO.
With all due respect to your gender, girlfolks need more practice. Y’all need to work more on smooth and charming. Seems weird, since in any mode but “taking the initiative”, girlfolk are so much better at slinky and subtle and seductive; but somehow when it comes to “do something overt and make things happen”, it has been my experience that many females lurch into it without much grace. Many skip the kiss altogether:
complete stranger: Hey. I’m not into wasting time, know what I mean?
classmate in college: Would you turn out the lights and go down on me? I’m really horny.
stranger who picked up friend of mine hitchhiking: I’ve got all day. Where do you want to go?
I know this all sounds like guy-fantasy material to some people, but when you aren’t expecting it, it’s rather abrupt, and…well…what happened in these three cases was…
Uh…well, I don’t like to be in a hurry…
Oh…you mean…I always liked you and all…I was hoping you kind of liked me. Can we…you wanna go somewhere where we can talk?
[as he recounts it] I, uh, well, I have to get to football practice. By the stadium is fine.
So you’ve got this interesting phenomenon, these distinctively horny and sex-crazed fellows practically crossing our legs and protesting that we aren’t that kind of guy! (friend and myself told these stories on ourselves and kept slapping ourselves upside the head and saying “ooh! what was I thinking? why didn’t I?”)
So think of what YOU would respond to. Even if you are a proudly lusty wench who wears t-shirts emblazoned with “SLUT” across the front, I’ll bet “Hey babe, how about it?” from out of nowhere doesn’t often generate an affirmative response, am I right?
