The children were never taken from her custody.
probably means her kids are home now. She did not say “My kids are back with me now.”
I just offered my interpretation of the original OP, which clearly contrasted greatly with this OP’s interpretation of that OP. If that makes sense. I could easily be wrong. But the point I was so concerned about was that our dear administrator here accused her of having her children taken away, and that was VERY clearly not the case.
That is a heinous thing to accuse someone of when she’s really just accused of being a really, really, really bad housekeeper. (And presumably hubby isn’t any better.)
I just think a lot of conclusions have been jumped to with insufficient facts. And the OP for this thread really contributed a whole lot to that.
Who? The asshole who started it is an administrator, for God’s sake, which reflects extremely badly on these boards. In my non lawyers opinion, Cristi may have a case for libel or something, after all, Dex, an administrator of these boards, is tossing around accusations about rats and shit-stopped toilets, which as far as I can tell,he made up out of whole cloth. It’s shameful and not exactly the kind of behavior a prudent administrator would engage in.
From my knowledge, the kids are in the clear to come home. CPS came by and gave her the all clear.
And I agree, unless people really know the circumstances and ADMINISTRATORS who act like nincompoops, I think reservations in judgements here is in order.
You missed the mark Dex, how unbecoming an admin. And you get mad at us when we pile on each other, please remember that when posting about your own misconceptions.
Whoops, Mama Tiger, I can’t believe I made a semantic mistake like that in my post. What I meant by “custody” was (the more crude) sense that they would not allow her children to physically stay with Persephone.
I guess what is really bothering me is not whether Persephone got to legally keep her children, but that they were removed from her house by CPS, because CPS decided that the house was not a safe environment for them to be in.
I am, at the same time, taking this with a grain of salt, since (as I said above), CPS can be as knee-jerk as CK. Sometimes they “err on the side of caution” aka “act like hysterical self-righteous lunatics”.
BUT, there must have been a reason for them to make sure the children were moved until cleaning could take place… right? I mean, it’s not like they would go; “Oh here, let us reassign your children to someone so you can have a weekend to do all that cleaning you never have time for.” I mean, every mom should be so lucky, raising kids and keeping a house is hard work!
I liked Kwyjibo’s post. It brought me around and made me feel a lot better about the whole situation.
Truthfully, I don’t know enough to know the “truth” of the situation. And whatever it is, I don’t care.
This is possibly the most ill-advised thread I have ever seen in all my time on the boards. Nothing good could have, or ever will come of this.
Doesn’t have to be anything serious. Remember the hissy fit thrown by Dexter during the ChiDope thread when an underage Doper asked if they could hang out, not drink mind you, at a bar?
To quote Randal from Clerks “I hope it feels good. I hope it feels so good to be right. There is nothing more exhilarating than pointing out the shortcomings of others, is there?”
Well, I don’t actually since I rarely venture into MPSIMS (only for a cursory OP glance, usually). But this is honestly one of the most awkward and uncomfortable threads I’ve ever read. I feel bad for Persephone having her life dragged through the muck on the boards like this. And I feel embarrassed for Dex for having started this thread.
Ick.
This thread was just brought to my attention.
And Jadis and most of the others have it right-on. The issue was with my *husekeeping, * not my parenting. And the children *were never removed from my custody. * My parental rights were *never terminated. * I was asked to remove them from the house until we got it clean. And on that night, the children were with a babysitter. The rest of the weekend, they’d been with my husband. And in Michigan, it’s Child Protective Services. Not Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Children.
Dex, if you can find the part of my post where I was bragging about anything, please point it out to me. I simply stated that I’d gone to New York for a fest. I was in midtown manhattan when I got the call. That’s it.
But this…
Originally quoted by Dex:
How dare you. For starters, just because Flint sucks doesn’t mean it’s all “inner city.” There were never any of the things you spoke of. Just too much junk for my children to be safe. I will say that I’ve got mice, though. Got traps, too. And FWIW, everything you mentioned is sufficient to get kids removed. But. I was asked to keep them out of the house until CPS could come back and check on things.
They did that four days ago. And my kids are back in my house.
There’s a lot more to the story. A lot has been posted in LJ, and a lot of the backstory will be posted, by me, as time passes. But not once have I ever denied responsibility for this. I fucked up, I fucked up HUGE, and *I know it. * I asked for help with one thing, and it wasn’t cleaning. I got the help I asked for. Everyone else that has helped me has done so voluntarily. In fact, they’ve even pushed me into accepting their help, because they knew I felt so shitty about all of this that I was afraid to ask.
But the point of my OP was to thank the Dopers that helped, and point out to others that might wonder, just what a remarkable community this is. Period. I want no sympathy. I never asked for it, nor do I deserve it.
But thank you again to those that helped, and those that have seen the meaning in my OP. I appreciate it very much.
Without getting into someone else’s dirty laundry, may I make the quick observation that it was publicly posted some time ago that there were serious problems in the marriage of the lady addressed by the OP, that anyone who knows anything of the situation could infer one excellent reason why she might have been in New York other than the Dopefest, and that the always-quick-to-prejudge CPS was not disturbed about her custody of the children but rather at the condition of the house as a home for children. I can hypothecate one outstanding reason why she might have been in no way at fault for the condition of the house.
If you feel it necessary to judge this, think it through. And do a little open-board research – I’m saying nothing (other than the two suggestions of what might be guessed) that has not been posted in MPSIMS.
Or consider being concerned for people rather than judging them.
At the risk of sticking my foot in where it doesn’t belong, let’s take this one problem at a time. PLEASE, don’t repeat the 5-page fuck fest that happened a while ago. Let’s just deal with one problem at a time, and not bring up past beefs just to say, “Yeah, what a prick.”
As to the OP, it’s none of my damn business. Sounds like the problem has been resolved.
Which might be a valid point… if Persephone lived in the inner city, where money for CPS and other public services is generally very tight. If she lives out in the suburbs, or in an affluent area, standards are most likely much higher. I don’t know where she lives, except that her Location says Flint, Michigan.
Let me also add to the general consensus that the OP was in extremely poor taste, especially coming from an Administrator.
The hell of this whole situation is that the complete backstory and excrutiating facts contributing to the situation will probably never be revealed here.
I say this as someone who probably actually knows as much of the backstory and contributing facts as anyone.
But such revelations are for Persephone alone to make, and I believe that she will take the high road for the sake of the reputations of others, and keep it to herself, and take whatever lumps she has to take, even if she doesn’t deserve them.
But this stinks. It really stinks.
For shame, Dex.
Oh the irony. It was a talk with other Dopers that brought that out.
I wasn’t taking side and was keeping out of it, but I know that regardless of the problems, friends help firends. We do our best not to judge, but to assist.
Thanks Kung Fu Lola.
Look, I am speaking from firsthand knowledge here that your house has to be in really fucking horrible condition for CPS to come out and do anything. This is not just about being a bad housekeeper, this is serious shit.
In just my own opinion no one asked for and that I’ll be crucified for later, you have to be really fucking clueless to go party with your friends from a message board while your house is in such disrepair and your kids, YOUR KIDS!, are in said house.
And I’m sorry, if you are going to air your dirty laundry out for everyone to see on the internet, sweetie, you’re going to have to deal with the fact that some people may have an opinion on your actions.
Ummm, have you read anything here or are you just typing to be an ass? You have no idea what Persephone has been going through in her life. She admitted she screwed up…her thread was to thank those that helped her out. She can only go on from here and keep things together. But Dex went way above and beyond any sense of rationality to open this can of worms on a board he admins.
If anyone deserves the ruler on the hand it’s Dex, not Persephone and they way he wrote this OP, he really made her look horrible when, those that know her, know the opposite of her and how much she does love her children but was also have some of her background and can understand why this happened.
I never expected not to. The only thing I’m surprised about is that it was an admin that started this Pit thread. I’ve only been Pitted once before, and it was a joking Pit about smiley overuse. I must say, though, that I’ve met Dex. And I’m glad he felt he knows me well enough to Pit me. I’m okay with it.
But at least enough people now are aware that the Doper community is more awesome than they could ever have imagined.
Dex, you quickly jumped to conclusions where clarification seems warranted.
Persephone, it is somewhat of an understatement to say that clarification seems warranted.
Look, we all have problems. All of us. That doesn’t excuse the fact that she left her kids in a situation that is unsafe.
Now maybe Dex is an ass. Maybe I am an ass. Maybe you techchick68, are a fucking moron. Maybe Persephone is Mother fucking Theresa. All that I care about is that the kids are safe. No one should have to grow up in an unsafe environment. It seems like Persephone has learned her lesson and the kids are safe.
So maybe this thread should just die.
Guess I need to reread my sentences…ugh.