I’ll keep Edmonton for two reasons
I live there
No one else would want it.
Please don’t hurt our technological base too much… We are just about ready to start manufacturing our own version of the I-Pod… It only weighs 75 lbs (not counting 78 RPM records). Your dogsled can carry it easy, eh, as long as you don’t pack too much moose meat…
Regards
FML
I don’t think so. However, if you want to play craps or blackjack in Stampede Casino, I’m sure it makes things a lot easier for the dealers to change your money (of whatever nationality) into chips.
As for the OP, since nobody else has called it, I’ll take the mineral rights to Alberta. Keep Toronto and Vancouver and Montreal (and Edmonton, FML). I’ve got all that oil… 
I’ve heard of it. I think it’s called “Ye Olde Ipode”, right?
You better believe I’m going to bring the beavers into this… dons war toque and plans beer offensive
Um. I’m right across the river…can’t we talk about this? I don’t want to face the wrath of a hundred angry beavers chomping at me.
If gay marriage destroys heterosexual marriage, I can take that cute but nevertheless married guy and his wife up there for a week. Soon he will be mine!
As far as the gold and silver and such, I suggest you create a great monument to the beginning of mankind’s understanding of the importance of hearth and home and family. It should be a long-lasting symbol, something that has stood for bucolic, rural values – the very image of what a family needs to remind them of their priorities. Something peaceful and sedate, considered so across cultures.
In short, a big huge golden cow.
Please come and join our pot-smoking, beer-swilling, homosexual orgy, while we all put an end to traditional marriage.
We have no problem with two men engaging in anal sex. That way they can both watch the hockey game. 
Well, I see you’re in North Windsor, so we’ll probably let you go. We have a soft spot for those who still live there.
<Hijack>I’ve been trying for two days to come up with joke about breeding something to eat the beavers that can’t be twisted into innuendo–without success. Stay tuned.</Hijack>
I would like the Yukon, the Northwest Territories, and sections of northern British Columbia, Alberta, and Saskatchewan, in “full stock” form- land, people, and all other assets.
Unfortunately, I have upcoming obligations in New York City that make it impossible to govern directly, so I am willing to appoint any willing person to serve as my personal satrap.
I want the Twillingate islands (both of 'em), Newfoundland, as well as all the water around them, including any icebergs in said waters. Icebergs are Cool!
-k-
Whoever gets Thunder Bay also gets me, cause I’m not moving.
Well, heck, if we’re divvying thigs up anyways, I call Vancouver Island. Once my tectonic engineers are done with it, I’ll be able to sail it anywhere in the Pacific. (I refuse to make it “Panamax”.)
He y it gets 16 kilos to the hectometre!
FML
You can have BC and the Yukon, and Saskatchewan too (provided you can pronounce it correctly). Alberta, the NWT and Nunavut are MINE.
Ooh, you’re a harsh mistress.
(We usually get a laugh or two every week, listening to fellow Canadians on the Toronto weather channel trying to pronounce it - hearing an American give it a go would be side-splitting.)
There are Canadians who can’t pronounce “Saskatchewan”?
Surely there are no Canadians who can’t pronounce ‘Saskatchewan’. It’s easy.
'Fraid not. See, the Canadian distributors and booksellers are still paying the normal percentage of the Canadian price, not the American price, so if they sold you the books at the American price they’d be screwed. It seems to take about five years for the damn pulishing industry to adjust prices.
Well, fine, then, I get Toronto and all of northern Ontario…
And you’re welcome to it.
snerk “NORTHERN” Ontario. Bwaaahahahaa
There are NORTHERN stores in Ontario, for heaven’s sake! WTF!