Damned Newfies.
Raise your hand if you’ve been screeched in!
raises hand
Is this a naughty Dustin Diamond reference?
You know, I’ve never been screeched in either…
(Fine, you know what? I get all the parks in Canada. Take THAT!)
“You have to understand Newfoundland.”
If you make the last two words rhyme, you’re pretty close for someone who’s from away.
Lots of easterners pronounce the last syllable as “wan” - most of us around here pronounce it “wun”.
So… NEW-fundlund then?
Enough! From now on, all place names in TimeWinderia will be pronounced phonetically. And if that makes them sound weird, we’ll change the names. We can do that, who’s going to stop us?
Chicoutimi? The Okanagan? L’Anse aux Meadows? Bras d’Or Lakes? Iqualiut? Stouffville? Strachan Avenue (the most mispronounced street name in Toronto)?
The mind boggles at what TimeWinder may come up with…
Pronounced “throatwarbler mangrove”, right?
Excellent. The new capitol will be in “Bras or Lakes.” And for the record, the correct answer will be “Bras.” We’ll have to work that into the new National Anthem.
Some of the rest of those will be problematical, though. We might have to have a re-smiting from orbit; it’s the only way to be sure.
Hereabouts we have commmunities with names such as Kitchenuhmaykoosib Inninuwug, and Eabametoong.
“Iqualuit”? Iqaluit, my friend. Pronounced more like eechaloooiet (hard ch, like in chorus, and barely a t sound at the end).
Well, I think we need fewer pubs (which are mostly not great) and more bakeries and Vietnamese restaurants anyway, so I’m not upset. I live on Queen and have strong feelings about the five minute walk to work turning into a twenty-five minute walk, plus screaming people outside my window until five in the morning.
Well, yes, I could move, but since I’m in charge anyway, I’ll just cancel it. 
Sorry. I guess my fingers were on autopilot, and typed the “u” after the “q” without thinking.
I’m quietly sneaking in and claiming Niagara Falls.
The skylon tower would make a cool house.
Oh, and before anyone gets any ideas, I’m claiming sovereignty over Tim Hortons (no apostrophe anymore).
I don’t think anyone’s grabbed the Radium/Invermere area yet - I’ll take that part. And then I’ll let the rest of you come soak in my beautiful hot springs and swim in my crystal-clear lake.
Well, if you get Radium Springs, I get Algonquin Park. The new expanded Algonquin Park, that is, which goes as far as Temagami, Burleigh Falls, Pembroke, the Thousand Islands, and Sault Ste. Marie. Basically, if it’s on the Shield and east of Wawa in Ontario, it’s part of the Park. 
I want Spirit Lake and that perfect little pool and its little waterfall over the rock ledge in the stream beside the road into Lac Cayamant. (I’ll give up Spirit Lake if I have to.)