Who wants to...

Have casual sex with a multi-thousandaire?

So I’m sitting at home drinking a Bud, and FOX calls me about this great idea for a spin-off. They have 50 crack whores ready to take the challange. They even have a “pre-nub” agreement that either party can back out after about an hour, and I will only have to share $20 of my fortune.

I think it sounds like a wonderful idea. My wife though just doesn’t get it, and for some reason now I’m sleeping on the couch.

So do y’all have any better ideas for a spin-off?

How about “Who wants to marry a broke college student”?
(please, millionaires only)
well…at least you’d know they weren’t gold-diggers…

…marry a millionaire spouse abuser?
Maybe someone would think twice before getting that put on the air.
Ugh. This latest Millionaire show makes me wonder what the sexual revolution was all about.


“Rolling with the dopes you know. Rolling with the wrong gun on you”
“I dream that she aims to be the bloom upon my misery”

  • I Miss The Girl Soul Coughing

“Who wants to milk a cow?”
I bet the ratings would out of sight.

“Who wants to reach out and jerk me off?”
Only will be seen on Cinemax.

“Who wants to wash my car?”
Would be tough to do this for a whole hour show though, eh?

“Who wants to suck goat nuts?”
Yup, this is another Cinemax show, with a simulcast on Animal Planet.

Hey it’s Sweeps month you know


“The idea of a walk-in closet sounds frightening. If I’m ever sittin’ at home and a closet walks in, I’m gettin’ outta there.” ~George Carlin

Who wants so suck off a TV Producer, you could get your show on the air and get the first episode at the same time!


You always use violence. I should’ve ordered glutinous rice chicken.

How about “Who wants to Bump off My Psych Professor?” It could be a spin-off of The Sopranos.


Habit rules the unreflecting herd. - Wordsworth

“Who wants to knock over one of those giant gumball machines that you see in the mall?”
–Sylence

(okay, so I’m obsessed with the idea. Who wouldn’t want to do that? I mean, there’s this huge CRASH and a tidal wave of brightly colored gumballs goes rattling down the mall. Wouldn’t that be GREAT? HA HA HA HA HA! Is taken away by the people with butterfly nets.)


If a bird doesn’t sing, I’ll wait until it sings.

  • Tokugawa Ieyasu

Who wants to cream a billionaire?

Wacky host Bill Gates runs accross the stage, as the cheering crowd attepts to hit him with cream pies. The audience member that manages to hit him gets to compete in the bonus round where he has to face off vs members of Paul Allen’s sports teams or Bill’s lawyers in a deathmatch. The winner takes home a tenth of a percent of Bill’s net worth.


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Clerks - Just because they serve you doesn’t mean they like you.