Who was that masked Poster, anyway?

Another Alternative Type Thread

ShibbOleth planted a seed in my mind. It took root and germinated. Actually, I think seeds germinate, then the roots grow out along with the green stalk part. But that’s not important. Here’s what he said:

What does that make you think of? That’s right! Blind posting!

Here’s what I thought: Someone writes up a post. They e-mail it to one of their friends. Said friend posts it under their name. We all try to guess who originally wrote the puppy. Fun for all!

But what to write? Anything you want. We could have a standard sample post. Sort of a benchmark. Then everyone tries to put their own spin on it. Make it their own.

Sample benchmark post:

Then I thought: Man this could turn into some work. So, I’m not going to do it.

You can if you want. I don’t mind.
-Rue.

Could someone write up a story about themselves going out to eat with a friend? Just so’s this doesn’t die alone.

Every second Saturday of the month, I meet with a group of girlfriends for breakfast. We talk and hang out for a while, then go home.

How’s that, Rue?

Rue, I’m at work at the moment (First day and they let me play on the net! Yay!) but I promise to write a story when I get home, k?

Mwah!

Puddin’

You can tell so much from the way people write.

Like that first story. You can tell the author is detail oriented and has a mind that takes in so much of the world around him. He’s the hyper-genius type with an insatiable quest for knowlege. (Hyper-genius means “way smarter than you’d think”, not “pretty smart but he’s running around like the Energizer Bunny on a sugar rush”. Now you know.)

Oh, wait… that first one was mine. So, you can also tell the chicks really dig him and he’s unusually modest.

The second story shows the woman is very sensual and good in the sack. She goes out with her girlfriends to trade sex tips and it’s Saturday morning so here latest conquest can rest up to pleasure her all Saturday afternoon.

I’d guess she wears something crotchless everyday too. (Her blouse! Ha!)

The third story was just a promise, so she’s probably a tease. A well-meaning tease, but still, just a tease. A pity, really. You know what they say about women with tattoos. (And if you do know, could you tell me? I haven’t a clue.) I bet she could work up a really good story if she tried.

We’ll have to wait and see.
Dr. Rue,
Story Analyzing Guy.

Every day a group of us go to lunch downstairs in the cafeteria. When I say a group of us, I mean myself and whoever else happens to be going down there on that particular day. Whoever else is usually Rob, Teressa, Mark, Sandi and Kirk. Sometimes Mike, Leszlie and Amar will join us, but not often.

Anyhoo, we go to the thing and a few of us, Teressa, Sandi and myself, bring our own lunch from home. Teressa brings in leftovers, usually, from the families dinner the night before. Sandi usually has frozen food. It’ll be Lean Pockets or Lean cuisine or something, but store bought, ready-made stuff. Me, well, I bring either a bagel or a tortilla filled with smoked ham, turkey or succulent roast beef and colby or provolone cheese (or, sometimes, asiago.) Sandi and I usually have yogurt, too. Not that we both have one yogurt and share it, but we both, individually bring in a cup of yogurt for ourselves. I suppose we could try bringing in a cup and exchanging it, just to try something new, but, nah, I don’t think so.

For a while, I was bringing in a can of Coca~Cola every day, but then I switched to a bottle of I.B.C. root beer. It was fun, having the bottle that looked very much like a beer bottle, but then I switched to little bottles of Twister. Not the movie or the atmospheric event, but the mixed juices from Tropicana. Those are good. Lately, though, I’ve gone back to Coca~Cola, though I shell out a buck and buy it from one of the vending machines.

The other folks, those that aren’t Teressa, Sandi or myself, buy food in the cafeteria every day. It sometimes looks good, but not usually. 'course, robert, an odd cat, buys either a cheeseburger, fries, or chicken tenders. That’s it. Well, that and a Mt. Dew. He, literally, doesn’t eat veggies (and sure, I know fries are potatoes, but you know what I mean.) He, Robert, is a stereotypical programmer geek. Nice as pie, thin as a rail and smart as all get-out, but he has a file-cabinet full of snack-size candies and candy-bars. He sits at his desk cruising through a bag of M&M’s in no time. The big bag, too. 1# or better. He eats pizza and hamburgers, never any salads or fruit. He, to the best of anyones knowledge, has never been sick nor has he taken vacation (he has an obscene amount saved up.) He might be on to something, but I like the occasional salad, so I couldn’t try his diet.

Mike, Leszlie and Gary most often eat at their desks, while Amar, a newly-wed, usually goes home.

Sometimes we all go out to eat. Sometimes one of us will cook up something and bring it in for the group.

That’s my lunch story.

Yo, check. My peeps and I buzz down at some hole, right? Grab a nibble, slap green and fly. No thang. But homey always frontin’ bout how he’s all down wif chow and glows on good eats, whatever. See homey always calls the same rig, right? Same-ol same-ol. Bo-fish dragged through the garden. Straight up and flip side.
Slack 'em, yack 'em,
Spritle

My lunch story is one of consistency. Wouldn’t want to rock the boat around here, no sir.

I usually eat lunch at my desk, whilst cruising the SDMB. I pause between bites to post something inane. I’ll put down my yogurt to click on a thread by my favorite posters.

But always, and I mean always (okay, 99% of the time always) have the same kind of stuff. I’d bitch at the gal that packs my lunch, but since she looks a lot like me and constantly follows me around, well, I guess I’d better not piss her off.

So here’s my lunch:

Sandwich with lunchmeat & mustard (this week it’s salami and pepperoni, a VERY bold a@@ move)
yogurt
various fruits (in season)
chopped veggies
32 oz. Diet Coke from the cafeteria (Chef Ken refers to this as my “usual”)

Every once in a while I’ll head out to lunch with the other Budget Boys to get some fresh air and some fresh food. But that doesn’t happen too much.

:: resumes sipping soda ::

Lunch eh,** Rue**?

Or in fact going to eat a friend

One night, oh sorry with a friend :wink:

The last time I went out to eat with a friend was about a week ago. I was on holiday at the time with 12 other people.

Four of us had spent about 5 hours in the pub that afternoon. Actually thinking about it we had good then too, I had Chilli - not the best I’ve ever tried but it was at a good price. Several pints, and interesting conversations later, we met the rest of the group at a Hotel restraunt for The Meal. (That is, the meal this is about)

The food was great the company fantastic (which honestly is more important then the food) and the drink flew (flowed?) all night. We strolled back to where we were staying and then s couple of us stayed up, talking in to the early hours of the morning.

should be : Actually thinking about it we had food then too

BTW who was **The Masked Poster[b/]

Were any of you wearing a maske when you posted? hmmmm I wonder.

Well, well, well… we have some interesting stories to analyze here. Now, don’t we?

Let’s start with thinksnow. Obviously from this story we can deduce the subject is willing to put much effort into bringing other people happiness. A real trooper. A top notch kind of guy.

But there’s a darker side, too. With the flagrant use of “anyhoo”, plus the mention of “asiago” cheese coupled with the lowercase name, I detect some unresolved personal issues. Probably holding his own buttocks in too high a regard, that would be my guess. This subject should be encouraged to stay away from kilts and hospital gowns. For his own good, of course. Unless he’s asked to flaunt himself in a kilt, or even a hospital gown. He shouldn’t be kept from spreading happiness in any way.

As long as it’s just happiness he spreads.

This Spritle character… where to start. Obviously, this is a blatant cry for help. What he needs help with isn’t redily appearant, but he needs help none-the-less.

On to scout… I detect a smoldering sexuality here. Note the mixing of salami and pepperoni. Along with the most sensual condiment, mustard.

I feel scout is hiding behind those goofy glasses (@@) as a red herring. Refering to herself as a “Boy” (with the other Budget Boys) shows a willingness to throw societal norms to the winds and embrace life.

I feel she secretly sees herself in leather pants and matching jacket, dominating the rest of the office, grinding her foes under her merciless heel.

Gartog, how can I put this? Canibalism is just not funny. (Or in fact going to eat a friend)

Flowing flying drinks are also a safety hazard. I hope you kept your head down. Or at least wore protection.

And this isn’t about me. Keep my masks out of it.
Dr. Rue,
Story Analyzing Guy.

Hmm. Lunchtime. Lunch. That most blessed event halfway through the workday that allows me to get the hell away from my job for a brief respite.

So, what do I do? I ditch all my co-workers and come home. I come online, as I’m addicted to both chat and the board, and munch on a sandwich - usually turkey on toasted wheat - while I surf for a while.

Then, I look at the clock, swear, and head back to work. At least until next week, when I don’t go to work anymore. I really don’t know how this will affect my lunch schedule.

There are many differences between England and America, and eating out is one of them. (Of course American culture permeates the globe gradually, so I had better describe the differences before they disappear.)

The waiters in the US seem to have a lot of energy (or be working to an energetic script). I remember sitting in a Chicago steakhouse, and having my glass constantly replenished.
In some English restaurants, it can be difficult to catch the waiter’s eye. (Of course, being English means one is much too embarrassed to call out, so waiting is the only option.)

The portions are usually larger across the pond, too. I happily recollect the time in a Howard Johnston chain when I ordered the scampi. Once I had consumed the lot, I remarked to the waitperson that it was jolly nice. “I’ll bring you another” she said instantly. I thought that was kind - and then she said it was free!
Apparently scampi was the special - so I had 6 portions altogether. :eek:

Two days before I flew out of Albany, never to return (well, except for Christmas visits and such), I took a bunch of my friends to the Chinese buffet. Not all my friends. I would’ve had to borrow my mother’s minivan to take all my friends. I could only take as many friends as would fit in my car, which was (well, still is, but I don’t have it right now) a 1988 Chevrolet Cavalier Z-24. Two doors. Fits four people, five if they’re skinny, more if they’re skinny and they pile on top of each other in the backseat. This particular day I had three people with me, plus me myself of course, so everyone fit comfortably. I would’ve had four guests, but my best friend had left for college three weeks previously, so she obviously couldn’t come with us. In the passenger seat was C, who is a very troubled girl but at the time she was acting normally, she didn’t know yet that she was pregnant and her boyfriend hadn’t started beating her in visible places so as far as I knew her life was just peachy. In the backseat were J, a real true live cowgirl who she acts like Jessie from Toy Story 2, and T, the only boy on the trip.

We all went to the Chinese buffet in East Greenbush, which is in a building that used to be a Ponderosa, and it’s right down the street from K-Mart, and near a place called the FunPlex that has a minigolf course and batting cages and gokarts. The Chinese buffet was kind of a tradition for us, we’d stop and eat there every time we went to the mall. This time we didn’t go to the mall first, we just went to the buffet.

For five bucks we got to eat all we wanted. Fried wonton and egg rolls and sweet and sour chicken and General Tso’s and egg drop soup and crab wrapped in bacon and stuck on a toothpick and teriyaki beef and fried rice and sticky rice and fish and chow mein and fu yung and some kind of mealiness served in a halfshell that tasted good even though I don’t like shellfish usually and lots of soda and for dessert there was ice cream and fresh fruit and those little round fried dough things that you can only get at Chinese restaurants and they’re very very yummy.

Anyway, none of us had eaten lunch so we all pigged out and made fools of ourselves. Tony got up to go to the bathroom and while he was gone we hid his Coke and replaced it with a glass of water cleverly mixed with soy sauce to approximate the color of cola. The look on his face when he took a big swig was priceless.

We had lots of fun, and then on the way home Tony gave me five bucks plus cost to go into a bookstore and buy him a porno magazine. The man behind the counter looked at me oddly. I suppose it did seem rather odd for a girl to be buying a copy of Big Titties.

So that is my story.

Once again we delve into the deep, dark, scary forest that is the Human Psyche…

DynoSaur in not unlike the catterpiller, waiting to change into the beautiful butterfly. Fat, lumpy and kinda green.

No! That’s not what I meant. At least I don’t think so. Nope, definitely not what I meant.

A leaf sluicing and sliding in the stream of life, ready to get caught up on the rocks and decompose into a noisesome mulch.

Wow, that’s no better.

DynoSaur, try some pepperoni sandwiches. Or turkey salami. It’s easier to pry out the true you with a spicier sandwich. That’s just the way it goes sometimes.

glee is the perfect specimen. Of something. I left my psych book on the bus, so I can’t say just what kind of specimen I’m talking about. Good thing it wasn’t a psychic book. How embarassing would that be? “Oh, you didn’t know you were going to leave your book on the bus? Can you get a refund then?”

But you know how inside every fat person there’s a skinny person? glee ate six of them. Don’t piss off glee.

racinchikki has it all. A Chinese buffet, people piling up in the backseat, minigolf, the mall, bacon on toothpicks, and Big Titties.

This is obviously overcompensation. Just too much stuff. I think it’s regret over the “Hidden Coke Incident”. That is probably symbolic of something. Probably a deep seated fear of itchy socks. I’ll let you know when I get back from the bus station.
Dr. Rue,
Story Analyzing Guy.

Sex tips? Actually, no. Especially considering most of the group are unattached and not dating/not getting any… not unlike the married ones, but I digress. After breakfast, I usually go home and do laundry. Sorry to burst your bubble…

What’s this? Snickers second guessing my professional* analytical skills? Who do they call the “Dark Lantern” at the Story Analysis League? (And I’m sure that’s a nod to the Green Lantern from the Justice League and a reference to Diogenes. Not a crack about my candle going out, or anything.)

Do I see “Story Analyzing Wench” after your name? No? Didn’t think so.

I’m not after the truth in your life. I’m after the deeper truth as reveiled by your story. The much bigger truth you show in your writing.

So just calm down, and live with your analysis. It’s like a fortune cookie. You get it for free. Only there’s no really bland, nearly tasteless cookie here. Just some tasteless comentary.

So there.
Dr. Rue,
Story Analyzing Guy.

For my 863rd post: Commentary.

Thank you.

I’m not going to analyze your coding, wenchly or not… :stuck_out_tongue:

But between the lines, methinks someone is just a tad out of sorts today. Chill, dude. I’m sure somewhere out there someone is lusting after you while they eat lunch…

Yeah, I’m out of my shorts today. I’m already chilled. Ihave to wear my long pants now. Our Canadian friends sent us a shipment of “Late Fall” already.

Oh, you said “out of sorts”. Who? Me?
Naw.

And who is this lusty luncher? Maybe we could get together and garnish each other…
-Rue. (not analyzing at the moment)