COOL GOOD GUYS
Stalker
Beach Head
Roadblock
Torpedo
Wild Bill
Lady Jaye
Spirit
Ace
Clutch
Gung Ho
Snake Eyes
William “The Refrigerator” Perry
Tunnel Rat
UNCOOL GOOD GUYS
Grunt
Tripwire
Tollbooth
Footloose
Chuckles
Cover Girl
Shipwreck
Cutter
Grand Slam
Sneak Peek
New characters released after 1987 who neddlessly duplicated functions of established characters
I used to watch GI Joe back in the early 1980’s after school. I wasn’t a big fan, but it seemed to me to be a more then semi-decent show, even though I thought both the Joes & Cobra soldiers were the absolute worst markesmen in the world, because despite having laser guns, neither side ever shot one of the others soldiers. They might blow everything else around them to tiny bits, but they never hit a human being.
Then this weekend I happened to catch a few minutes of it on Cartoon Planet.
Christ, was it bad. The dialogue was beyond childish and the actors all shouted their lines and the animation was truly awful.
Oh yeah, this was dumber than Serpentor. A Rocky Balboa action figure. I remember him being mentioned in one of the GI Joe yearbooks but he never made it as an action figure nor did he make it into the comic. http://www.yojoe.com/archive/unproduced/rockybalboa.shtml
At the risk of being called a flooder or spammer I have to say that the GI Joe action figures are superior to the POS Star Wars action figures that were produced in the seventies and re-released with the advent of the Phantom Menace. I guess I was spoiled having action figures that could move their elbows, twist at the waist, nod their heads, kneel (the only position a GI Joe figure could take in the presence of Cobra Commander) among other positions. Star Wars action figures? They have shoulders and some of them have legs, others just have a big, bulky base like Obi Wan. Screw nostalgia, I want a good toy.
My favorite GI Joe was definitely Optimus Prime. He could turn into a truch, and had that little miniature 6-wheeled companion called “roller” in his trailer. Plus, in the pilot series, his hand could turn into a lightsaber-axe.
Having two brothers, I had no choice but to watch it growing up. My favorite was Dusty. I don’t know why. I had a crush on him in those days, but I was only eight. What was wrong with me?
Not nice person: You’re going to shoot me over a flag? There are people walking out of here with two hundred dollar typewriters.
Roadblock: No one ever died over a typewriter.
Fer the record I’m a Snake-Eyes bandwagon boy. I also dug Doc, Mainframe, Ripcord (who was that HALO), Blowtorch and Stalker. Actually I dug a ton of the Joes, but I credit that to Larry Hama being an incredibly underrated writer (comic book).
Thank you for the refresh, Asylum. I had that page photocopied and taped up inside my locker at school, it stirred me so much. The art on that page was fantastic too. The bad guy standing on a table, hand raised with lighter aflame, looking down the barrel of Roadblock’s gun, while trying to decide if this soldier is serious…and finally deciding he is.
Gimme Firefly. I always liked him, and thought of him as Stormshadow and Snake Eyes’ younger, meaner brother (Were they related?). Didn’t have the ninja skills so much, but he was real good at making nasty surprises.
Also Crocmaster and Destro were cool. And Tomas and Xamot. The Drednoks were good comic relief.
For good guys, I liked Tunnel Rat and Sci-fi. Sarge’s guys were fun too.
A question: was there another medic besides Doc and Lifeline? And did anyone else have the urban purple and orange Cobra trooper with the big shield?
Poor Tollbooth. Top of his class at the Jersey Turnpike operator’s training seminar, recruited right into the Joes to drive the Bridgelayer, still gets no respect.
By the way, I remember reading a G.I. Joe comic book as a kid and there was a contest in the back where you could become a character. They even said there would be an action figure of you, and a background you chose, and other stuff. But I don’t remember seeing a character of some kid. Maybe a kinky metal-faced ruby-wearing guy won the contest?
Is there any truth to the rumor that Hasbro considered releasing Toetag and Bodybag the GI Joe and Cobra embalming technicians but they didn’t do well in test marketing?
I’m pretty sure there was one other medic, but for the life of me I can’t remember the name. I still grieve over the deaths of Doc and Breaker (who hailed from Gatlinburg, TN!)
I owned the Alley Viper too. Had the flip up face mask. Just couldn’t figure out how neon orange and purple was gonna help him hide in an alley.
Not a contest, but a mail-in offer. You picked out your specialties and name/sex/age etc, and they sent you the armored figure with a customized file card so you could be a member of the Joe team. Cool idea, but I never sent in my flag points and s&h.
In the comic there was a tie between Snake Eyes, Storm Shadow and Firefly but it wasn’t a blood relation.
Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes served in Viet Nam together with Stalker and a future Crimson Guardsman in a LRRP and after the war Snake Eyes went to Japan to train with Storm Shadow’s ninja family.
Larry Hama, who was the primary writer of the series, told character driven stories and would start subplots that would develop slowly for years and be so subtle you’d wonder if they even were sublots and then suddenly they’d explode. If you then went back and read the older comics you could see the hints he was dropping and even places where he purposely misled you so you wouldn’t figure out what was going on. This is what Hama did with the origin of Firefly and how it tied into Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes origins. It was one of the most impressive bits of storytelling I’ve ever seen in a comic because Hama was working on that one for the better part of ten years or so and took you down a number of false paths. It’d take way too long to sum it up here, but if you can check out this page that excellently sums up Firefly’s background and adventures in the comic. Unfortunately it doesn’t tell how Hama badly misled the reader (like the fact that for years the Joes and the reader thought that the Faceless Master was Zartan).
And for anyone else who’s interested here’s the main page of the site I linked to above which deals with all things G.I. Joe, and here’s the main page for characters. Please note that the site is a work in progress, so if your favorite Joe isn’t there s/he will probably be added soon.
B.A.T.s.–Terminator and Swiss Army knife in one. Laser for sniping, flamethrower for close combat, huge claw for crushing recycleable beer cans, and… um, another hand, I guess in case he wanted to play the banjo or something. Plus they had that groovy see-through chestplate. Yeah, I know they sucked in the cartoon, but that’s only because that was their job. What does it take to persuade parent watchdog groups that a cartoon featuring global terrorists and armed combat is nonviolent? Not much, apparently, thought the folks at Hasbro. "Yes, they are firing weapons at each other, but it’s okay, they’re lasers, it’s not real. See how the pilots eject from the helicopters before they explode? Yes, I know that soldier got his head blown off, but it’s okay, he’s a robot…"
Another vote for the ninjas and an other for Tunnel Rat. I should mention that the face sculpt for Tunnel Rat was based on Larry Hama’s face. Nice tip of the hat, I always thought…