I’ll raise you one:
President ponders preemptively pardoning progeny preventing possible political prosecution.
I’ll raise you one more:
Pathetic President ponders preemptively pardoning progeny preventing possible political prosecution.
I saw this, and thought, well I haven’t, because I don’t know if someone can be preemptively pardoned, let me see what Duck Duck Go says, and then I’ll comment on your post. But then I thought, wait a minute, Ford pardoned Nixon, I’m curious as to the actual wording of that pardon, which I don’t recall exactly. Then I came back here ready to say, well Ford pardoned Nixon. Only then did I note your “text pun”. This is just a long-winded way of saying, “Good one”! 
Anti-predictions: Trump, or anyone in his family; Pompeo; DeJoy; Pence; Giuliani; Mnuchin. I don’t think they will will be preemptively pardoned.
Actual predictions: Manafort. Probably/possibly others, but I don’t have anyone specifically in mind.
Knowing that this thread is about who may be pardoned, I did just want to say briefly what those I list above won’t be. Because other than his family, Trump doesn’t give a shit about them. Simple as that.
nm, sorry
It was suggested that prez is considering doing this, but we don’t know for sure. So it seems likely that he is. But it wasn’t suggested he’s doing this for all his kids, only for certain ones. So . . .
Pathetic President probably ponders preemptively pardoning particular progeny preventing possible political prosecution.
ETA: Let’s even make that . . .
Profoundly pathetic President probably ponders preemptively pardoning particular progeny preventing possible political prosecution.
Barron is a minor, so I doubt that he’s involved in anything that would actually be pardonable. It seems like Melania keeps him fairly well insulated from the political shenanigans of his dad.
Tiffany? I don’t think she’s enough of an insider to be on the chopping block.
Well, as far as pardoning himself, there’s a school of thought that says, “many legal experts have said that a self-pardon would be unconstitutional because it violates the basic principle that nobody should be the judge in his or her own case.”
But who knows?
It’s a Christmas blizzard of pardons for several people close to Trump. Two of Trump’s known close associates, George Papadopolous and Alex Van der Zwaan received pardons after they pleaded guilty to making false statements in the Mueller investigation. Chris Collins, a former representative from New York, was pardoned for his role in conspiring to commit securities fraud and lying to federal investigators. He was an early Trump booster so I’m counting him as a close associate. There were several other pardons for people not particularly close to Trump, including two other House Republicans and some former Blackwater contractors who wantonly killed kids in Iraq. .
Wonder what the going price for a pardon is? Philip Esformes (massive Medicare fraud and bribery) got a commutation but has no apparent connection to Trump. But lots of money, and probably some juicy South Florida real estate…
Still waiting for the pre-emptive pardons.
Vanity Fair has an interview up with Michael Cohen who – regardless of what you may think of him – probably has the most insight into how Trump thinks about his own criminal liabilities and those of his associates.
His prediction is that Trump won’t pardon those who he has conspired with or been complicit in his crimes – including Jared Kushner and his children That’s because, once pardoned, they lose their right against self-incrimination and can be forced to testify about acts they were involved in – testimony that will implicate Trump.
Kushner’s dad, Roger Stone, and Manafort, among others.
I would not be surprised about ANY pardons by Trump at this point.
Posthumous pardons for Ted Bundy, John Wayne Gacy, Timothy McVeigh and Jeffrey Dahmer are not out of the question at this point.
The pardonpalooza has the added benefit of giving us all pardon fatigue by the time he rolls out the preemptive pardons for his family and himself.
A hundred quatloos that he will NEVER pardon Michael Cohen.
“Ivanka’s children are probably the only Americans to ever have one grandpa pardoned by the other grandpa.”
There’s a lot going on in Trump land these days so this seems incredibly unimportant but I’ve decided on the prize. The winner of the contest will get to choose the recipient of my Amazon Smile donations for one year, starting February 15, 2021 from any eligible charity. They will also, if they choose to PM their mailing address to me, receive the world’s worst trophy in the mail, handmade by me, with their user name proudly declaring them the winner of the 2020 Straight Dope Pardon Prediction Contest. Best wishes to everyone who participated!
He’ll pardon the horse he rode in on, too.
Slate is reporting that Trump is set to issue 100 pardons. Still up in the air is whether he and his children will be included on the list.
Count on it. I would bet any sum of money.