Who would you vote for as the stupidest real person on television?

Cafe Society
21

[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer]
Sampiro, what you are describing is not the action of an idiot. It is the action of an asshole. Subtle difference.
[/QUOTE]

He has a dual diagnosis. :wink:
(A previous go-nowhere Larry King thread I have to admit a failed fondness for.)

I think Ann Coulter is actually amazingly bright and coherent for someone who hasn’t ingested anything other than coke or nicotine since 1993. I think she’s an evil Andy Kaufman and the political persona that’s earned her millions is her Tony Clifton.

22

I agree with the others who’ve said it. Ann Coulter is not stupid. “Ann Coulter,” the character she plays on TV, is stupid.

23

[QUOTE=Fiver]
Sherry “There were no people before there were Christians” Shepherd. In a walk.
[/QUOTE]
She’s also the one who, when asked if the Earth was flat, responded “I don’t know,” and said that she’d “never thought about it.” And then there was the time she said that a singer was “like a black Patti LaBelle”, and the time that she didn’t vote because she “never knew the dates or anything.” (Thanks Wikipedia!)

If she doesn’t win this little competition, then the game was rigged. Calling Ms. Shepherd an idiot is truly an insult to the cognitive prowess of idiots the world over.

24

[QUOTE=neutron star]
She’s also the one who, when asked if the Earth was flat, responded “I don’t know,” and said that she’d “never thought about it.”
[/QUOTE]

I loved how she covered that and how Baba actually headed her off:

Sherry: I never thought of whether the world was flat, I was thinking of how I’m going to pay my rent and feed my child…

Barbara Walters: You can think about both.

25

I used to listen to Glen Beck’s radio show, and he was a whole lot funnier than the other conservative talk show hosts, so I’ll go with not stupid.

26

Paris Hilton has her own TV show. Jessica Simpson had one for a while. It’s a tough call, but Jess may have the edge.
I’ll also nominate anyone ever featured on “My Super Sweet Sixteen.”

27

Kendra Wilkinson…Hugh Hefner’s youngest dingbat on The Girls Next Door.

28

Have you ever watched a season of The Real World? I submit to you any of the characters who have appeared on this show in the past 10 seasons or so.

Here’s what transpired last week:

  • The stripper who was a crack and meth addict went to a bar and started french kissing a random girl. Stripper freaks the fuck out because her mouth goes numb and she determines the kissee is doing coke!

  • Obviously 'roided up jackass tells roommates that he used to have a “problem with alcohol.” 'Roid boy goes out, gets shitfaced, threatens suicide on camera, and then beats the living shit out of an inanimate punching bag, wall, and metal door.

  • Rural southern chick accuses Black roommate who gets angry with her of being “ghetto.”

Whenever I do dumb shit, like lock my keys in the car, or get a speeding ticket, I watch an episode of The Real World and feel like a genius.

Oh, and Sherri Shepherd made a damn good case for herself in this category. I’ve never had the displeasure of watching Glenn Beck, but he sounds like a douchebag.

29

Rather than a specific individual, I have to mention all the slick young newspeople who look like they’ve just materialized from the cover of *Vogue *or *GQ. *They all seem to be exactly the same age, have the same makeup and hair people, and their comments are as superficial as their appearance.

Give me all the middle-aged newspeople any day.

30

Sherri Shepherd, for sure. Rosie O’Donnell may have had her moments but for Sherri, it’s a lifestyle.

31

[QUOTE=Sampiro]
A couple of years ago or so Larry was interviewing Alison Arngrim, the former child star who played Nellie Oleson on Little House on the Prairie. The subject was incest, and Arngrim was speaking as an incest/molestation survivor. She stated up front that her molester was male and not her father, but she did not wish to reveal exactly who he was (brother/cousin/uncle/etc.) for personal and legal reasons, and for purely personal reasons she didn’t wish to reveal exactly what happened between them other than to say it was sexual in nature.

King asked her “Was this relative on your father’s side of the family?”

King: Was he closer to your age or your father’s age?

Arngrim: I’d rather not be specific as to who he was other than a close relative… I’m not really here to discuss my own life but to discuss child sexual abuse in general and the organization I work for, and my personal experiences happen to be why I am their media representative.

King: Was he somebody who lived in the house with you? How old was he when you were born? Is he somebody you still see at Christmas? What relation is he to your siblings? Is he a sibling? Is he here tonight? Got a picture of him? Bigger than a bread box? Did you call him Uncle Ernie? Was he your mother’s half-brother from Oklahoma? etc.etc.etc. To each one Arngrim repeats “this isn’t about me but about the organization… I don’t want him identified, I will say he’s still alive and that’s a large part of why”, but he just kept on and kept on and kept on asking questions about the identity before finally getting it through his head that she wasn’t going to say “It’s my half-brother Louis who lives at 1234 Massengale Disposable Lane in Rochester NY”. So then he turned to what happened.

“So how far did it go?”

“I really don’t want to discuss the details of my personal molestation other than to say it began when I was a child and went on until I was a teenager and I went through the same emotional problems the children helped by this organization are going through…”

“Was there penetration?” (ACTUAL QUESTION!)

A.A.: I’m not going to discuss it.

“Could you have gotten pregnant from what he did to you?”

A.A. (now visibly pissed but keeping it together) “I just said I don’t want to talk about it!”

As it was she was on his show for about half an hour and talked for about 1/3 of her airtime about the actual organization she’s involved with. The rest was fending off Larry’s “Do you have any pictures? Will you show us on the monkey where he touched you? How was he as a kisser?” type questions. I kept expecting Allison’s husband or manager (or Allison herself) to just knock the hell out of him, but alas, no.
[/QUOTE]

Yup. What Larry King was (or may have been) and what he is now are two different things. There’s a social security office somewhere that’s just dying to sign him up just to get his stupid ass out of the interviewing business. Jeeeeez is he annoying.

32

I keep the TV on for background noise and can stand almost anything, but even I can’t listen to Tyra Banks.

33

Bill Clinton.

“Y’all just leave her alone and give her some water. People faint all the time at these things.”

34

[QUOTE=Hippy Hollow]
Have you ever watched a season of The Real World?…

  • Rural southern chick accuses Black roommate who gets angry with her of being “ghetto.”

[/QUOTE]

And adds later while talking to another roommate: “I don’t care if you’re from the most inner-city Blackville, you don’t act like that.” :rolleyes:

35

Since Sherri Shepherd is well covered, I’ll add Elisabeth Hasselbeck.

36

[QUOTE=SaharaTea]
Since Sherri Shepherd is well covered, I’ll add Elisabeth Hasselbeck.
[/QUOTE]

Gee, to me, Rosie O’ was making Elisabeth look like a genius.

37

Paula Abdul. I don’t care if she’s generally dumb, but she also seems really dumb about what she is on television for. . .critiquing musical performances. Her only use is as a foil for two guys who generally seem to know what they’re talking about. She’s completely unable or unwilling to articulate that which she was able to do, and has probably never said one useful thing in 7 seasons.

Also, Brianna on Real World Hollywood. Ok, Bri. . .I won’t judge you because you’re a stripper or because you did coke or got thrown out of home or got pregnant at 19 and started pole dancing to pay for the abortion or because an average hooker dresses more conservatively than you or because you brought two guys home from a bar at 1 in the morning because they’re producers who will help you professionally. To each their own, right? But, would I be wrong to judge you becuase you have an assault charge against you, and you jumped town on it?

“Some day you’re going to wake up and you’re going to say, ‘Where’s Joey?’ and Joey’s going to be gone.”

In my own defense, I’ve been laid up with a broken leg, and I haven’t watched Real World since Puck & Pedro, but somehow they got their hooks into me, along with Rob & Big.

38

[QUOTE=Frostillicus]
I know you discounted her, but Anne Coulter is breathtakingly stupid.
[/QUOTE]

What are you basing this on?
From her IMDB bio:

I can definately see where you wouldn’t like her… but “breathtakingly stupid”? I don’t think so.

39

I’ll nominate Paris (I’m only a celebrity because I’m rich) Hilton.

Second nominee Ashlee Simpson. (Ugh, I hate to even type that name for fear that a web crawler will pick it up, and continue her false celebrity-ness that much longer.

40

I’ll ditto those who say Coulter is not stupid. She’s discovered she can make a comfortable living doing little more than yanking off the troglogytes. This requires her to say very stupid things, but the reason for doing so is not stupid at all.

Having watched two episodes of The View while recuperating from surgery a few weeks ago, I’ll second the two aforementioned nominations from that show. Christ, those women are dumb. (On the up side, it was somewhat entertaining watching the not-dumb Whoopi Goldberg trying to maintain her composure while dealing with her mouth-breathing colleagues.)