Who'd Win: Supercard I

Cafe Society
1

Fantasy Fight Fans, Welcome to the Thunderdome!

You asked for it, you begged for it, and we deliver. Tonight we bring you a full card of fantasy combat excitement. All bouts sanctioned by the IFFA (Internet Fantasy Fight Alliance), and supervised by your commissioner, Oakminster!

First up:

Granny Clampett (Beverly Hillbillies)

VS

Aunt Esther (Sanford & Son)
The Second Match:

Jack Tripper (Three’s Company)

VS

Chandler Bing (Friends)
Special Attraction All Girl Tag Team:

Laverne Defazio and Shirley Feeney (Laverne & Shirley)

VS

Ginger and Mary Ann (Gilligan’s Island)
Wisconsin Junior Heavyweight Title Match:

Richie Cunningham (Happy Days)

VS

Eric Foreman (That 70s Show)
IFFA World Tag Team Title Match:

The Blues Brothers (Akroyd & Belushi) (Saturday Night Live and Movie)

VS

** The Duke Boys (Bo & Luke)** (The Dukes of Hazzard)
Main Event, for the IFFA World Heavyweight Title:*

Dan Conner (Roseanne)

VS

Al Bundy (Married with Children)

*By Commissioner’s Decree, Bundy must keep his shoes on at all times.

And now, for the dozens browsng this thread on the internet, and the millions around the world that really don’t give a rat’s ass, Ladies and Gentlemen,

LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE…

2

Granny Clampett (Beverly Hillbillies)
VS
Aunt Esther (Sanford & Son)

Granny Clampett
The Second Match:

Jack Tripper (Three’s Company)

VS

Chandler Bing (Friends)

Jack Tripper - More like Jack The Ripper!
Special Attraction All Girl Tag Team:

Laverne Defazio and Shirley Feeney (Laverne & Shirley)

VS

Ginger and Mary Ann (Gilligan’s Island)

Laverne Defazio and Shirley Feeney Maybe it’s their accents that make them seem tough but my vote still goes for them. Plus, they seem like they’d fight dirty.
Wisconsin Junior Heavyweight Title Match:

Richie Cunningham (Happy Days)

VS

Eric Foreman (That 70s Show)

Richie Cunningham - Eric might initially have the upper hand but Fonzy will make a surprise appearance and smash him in the back of the head with a metal folding chair.
IFFA World Tag Team Title Match:

The Blues Brothers (Akroyd & Belushi) (Saturday Night Live and Movie)

VS

The Duke Boys (Bo & Luke) (The Dukes of Hazzard)

The Blues Brothers - They’re on a mission from god. It’s hardly fair.
Main Event, for the IFFA World Heavyweight Title:*

Dan Conner (Roseanne)

VS

Al Bundy (Married with Children)

By this time, I’ll be too drunk to notice. :wink:

3

Granny Clampett (Beverly Hillbillies)
VS
Aunt Esther (Sanford & Son)

Granny Clampett
The Second Match:

Jack Tripper (Three’s Company)

VS

Chandler Bing (Friends)

Jack Tripper - More like Jack The Ripper!
Special Attraction All Girl Tag Team:

Laverne Defazio and Shirley Feeney (Laverne & Shirley)

VS

Ginger and Mary Ann (Gilligan’s Island)

Laverne Defazio and Shirley Feeney Maybe it’s their accents that make them seem tough but my vote still goes for them. Plus, they seem like they’d fight dirty.
Wisconsin Junior Heavyweight Title Match:

Richie Cunningham (Happy Days)

VS

Eric Foreman (That 70s Show)

Richie Cunningham - Eric might initially have the upper hand but Fonzy will make a surprise appearance and smash him in the back of the head with a metal folding chair.
IFFA World Tag Team Title Match:

The Blues Brothers (Akroyd & Belushi) (Saturday Night Live and Movie)

VS

The Duke Boys (Bo & Luke) (The Dukes of Hazzard)

The Blues Brothers - They’re on a mission from god. It’s hardly fair.
Main Event, for the IFFA World Heavyweight Title:*

Dan Conner (Roseanne)

VS

Al Bundy (Married with Children)

By this time, I’ll be too drunk to notice. :wink:

4

No way Al Bundy could get the motivation to fight back. Dan Conner is a heavy machinery mechanic. Al Bundy is a shoe salesman. Al Bundy loses in the first fifteen seconds, guaranteed.

5

I think Granny takes Aunt Esther. She’s a fiesty little woman.

Jack Tripper and Chandler Bing mostly circle and talk, until finally Chandler says something nasty about Jack’s cooking, and Tripper decks him. One punch KO.

Laverne & Shirley go over Ginger & Mary Ann. Mary Ann’s a scrapper, but Ginger is the weak link on the team.

In an upset, Eric Foreman beats Richie Cunningham. The dope smoking, sex-with-Donna having Star Wars junkie is tougher than he looks. Has a mean right cross, and once beat up a Packers fan.

The Duke Boys put up an epic struggle. Beau gets worked over pretty good until he hits the hot tag to Luke, but there’s a ref bump, and Joliet Jake breaks a beer bottle over Luke’s head for the win.

The Main Event is a classic battle. Both men really have no reason to live. They married horrible wives, sired disappointing children, and are filled with pent up rage. Bundy is busted open early, as Conner is laying in big right hands. Bundy is on the ropes, but with the fighting spirit that once drove him to score four touchdowns in a single game for Polk High, he catches Dan with a Greco-Roman knee to the groin, then locks in a rear naked choke for the win, and the belt.