Whoppers my friends have told me

I know these aren’t true. Nevertheless, sometimes I entertain the thought that they might be true. So if anyone can prove to me that they aren’t true I would be grateful.

  1. If sperm can’t find an egg to fertilize, they swim all the way up the fallopian tubes and then meander around the abdominal cavity. So usually three days after sex, a woman will have sperm in her abdomen, swimming freely. (Yuck, ick! Too gross to be true)

  2. The colon produces lubricant to help expel feces. It’s thick and drips out afterward. My friend calls this, charmingly, “butt snot.” (Too hilarious to be true)

  3. Most women have hairy nipples. (This I find more believable, since men have a ring of hair around their nipples, but this has got to be the biggest secret of our time. Marketers, especially, would be expected to capitalize on this, and I haven’t seen any cream made especially to take the hair off nipples)

  4. “Fuddy-duddy” does not mean a boring and joyless person. It’s another word for vagina. (I haven’t heard this from anyone else, so this can’t be true, but what was my friend thinking when she told me this? That I was that gullible?)

Okay guys, debunk at your leisure. I want to emphasize that I don’t believe this hogwash, but would like it scientifically proven by the intellects of the SDMB.

Uh… Drips out after what? Tell your friend to get to a doctor!

The OED says “Origin unknown.” However, its first cite is: "1899 W. DICKINSON Cumberland Gloss. 106/2 Duddy fuddiel, a ragged fellow. " Note that it’s referring to a man, not a woman.

Note that the OED does not have a single cite for “vagina.” The only definition is “An old-fashioned person; an ineffectual old fogy.” If there had been any cites for that definition, the OED would have included them.

Challenge him to back up this claim, since there no evidence for it in the OED (the premier etymological dictionary of any language).

The fallopean tubes are (surprise!) tubes. This means there are only two openings: one a the vagina, the other at the ovaries. There is no way for a sperm to get outside them.

How do fetuses get implanted in the liver if there isn’t a way into the abdominal cavity?

My first thought when I read this was “WHAT?”

So I Googled… Surgeons remove fetus from liver "apparently it does happen. WARNING do not click link if you have a weak stomach, graphic pictures on the other side which may be upsetting. (in fact, on preview, I decided to take the url tags out… if you do want to see the page, cut and paste the address.)

Learn something new every day!

If you want a less graphic site on pregnancies in the abdomen, here it is:

http://www.womens-health.co.uk/ectopic.asp

*The baby was dead when doctors of the Shanghai Pudong Gongli Hospital took it out of the mother’s livers. *

Oh My! She has livers.

No doubt an adaptation to a hard drinking life.

In fact, I have first-hand experience indicating #2 is at least partially true. Something back there does produce a mucus-like lubricant. As to whether or not the colon does it, dunno. As to its purpose, dunno.
As to #3, I won’t say that most women have hair around their nipples, but from first-hand experience, I would say that some women do. I would expect that nipple hair would be less common among skinny, young women than in older, more robust women. That is the pattern that female facial hair, for instance, seems to follow.

At the risk of revealing too much about myself…

There already exists a product to remove unwanted hair around the nipples…it’s called tweezers. We’re not talking Robin Williams here, it’s a few stray hairs. And if someone has more than a few hairs, there’s always shaving, or Nair.

Think about it for a second…How, exactly, would you advertise a product for removing hair from that specific location, and that specific location only?

The fallopian tubes are not connected directly to the ovaries. The ovaries are located very close to the open ends of the fallopian tubes. Upon ovulation, the egg bursts through the side of the ovary and is urged into the fallopian tube by either muscle contrations or cilial movement or something (I’m not a doc, so I don’t know for sure, I just remember from watching far too many hours of discovery health).

Here’s a handy-dandy little chart

In certain instances a fertilized egg can implant outside the womb. This is called an ectopic pregnancy.

With regards to sperm in the abdominal cavity, I’ve always heard that sperm can’t survive more than a very short period of time in the acidic environment of the woman’s body, so I doubt this would be an issue.

This quote, from the above url-cut link, cracked me up for some reason:

<i>Experts said women in their most fertile period must arouse awareness when stopping periods. </i>

I guess I just pictured a whole bunch of women, running through the streets, yelling that they’re stopping their periods. :eek: :smiley:

Huh… why did I always think it was 3-5 days?

#3 is definitely true, by the way.

Your friend isn’t far wrong.

Take the first three letters, fud, and you have a Scottish slang word for exactly that. This is derived from the Scots word for “tail”. ("* Ye maukins, cock your fud fu’ braw *" - Robert Burns) and has been suggested as the source of the term fuddy duddy.

BreastArrest?

There’s an Australian product called Nad’s, which is a glue for body hair. Don’t see why someone couldn’t use it on nipples. Or 'nads.

Most ? I’ve seen a lot of nipples in my 30 + carreer, and most would definitely not apply.
Hair growth patterns in both men and women is influenced by testosterone. Women produce testosterone, and men produce estrogen, in the adrenal glands, some more than others.
If a woman, in her child bearing years, has facial hair, she likely has a bit of nipple hair.
There is a genetic component as to how much testosterone a woman produces. So if mom has stray hair, so will her daughters.

Hereis a cite for my previous post.

I think it’s Gonorrhea
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

Sperm can live in good quality cervical fluid (produced in the few days before ovulation) for 3-5 days. This means that, technically, you can have intercourse on Saturday night in Aspen and not conceive until your board meeting on Tuesday! :eek:

But I don’t think cervical fluid is found inside the abdomen. Without cervical fluid, sperm only last a matter of hours.

Well, most of us pluck 'em. I get about three, and they take about three to six months to grow back in. The weirdest bit is I swear I never see them when they’re short - it’s like they don’t grow and then WHAM! they’re 3/4 of an inch long overnight.

So it’s possible that you could care for a woman like me for quite a while and not know that I grow them occasionally. And I have no facial hair, and my body hair is very light and soft.

Electrolysis is fairly cheap to take care of this if there’s only a few.

My first lover had hairs around her nipples – on the borders of her aureolae, actually. Not many, about a dozen or so each. I thought it was neat; she thought it was embarrasing, but not enough to tweaze or zap them. She was also quite hairy in . . . other places.

DD