Something interesting occurred in a conversation I was a part of last night. It’s happened before with other people and I let it slide as I did last night because it really isn’t a relevant fact to the narrative in question.
I have not led a story book life nor had it been boring up until six or seven years ago. I associated with a lot of, shell we say, questionable people along the way. As such I have found myself at gunpoint by good guys and bad guys in my life time and this became the topic. Now I’ll admit to not recalling some things in my life and at times someone will start a sentence with "Remember that time we…"and I have no idea what they are talking about. But some things are etched in stone and anything involving the threat of or actual discharge of a firearm fall into that category.
So I was a bit surprised when my sister brought up an incident of an accidental discharge of a .357 magnum one night in 1973. One of only two such incidents in my life, the other being taking one more step in the woods while hunting and finger on the trigger. Anyway she had most of the facts right except two. She told it as the discharged round coming through a wall and traveling between her and the wife of the guy I was in the other room with. As in first, she wasn’t there. In fact she wasn’t even in the same state. And second the round lodged in a wall after going through a drawer and side of a heavy oak dresser and a rather solidly built Scott speaker.
Just wondering if others experience this, what I call “Linus moment”(as in Oceans 12) where other people tell your stories as their own? If so do you correct them or just let it slide as not being a relevant fact in an otherwise entertaining story? Do you feel slighted or wonder if you’re the one remembering incorrectly?
After all as Roger Waters said “The memories of a man in his old age are the deeds of a man in his prime.”
Memory plays funny tricks on people. Whether it is you, your sister, or both of you whom it has tricked in this case, no-one here can possibly say. It is very common for different eye witnesses of some memorable event (such as a crime) to quite confidently give accounts of the incident that are incompatible with one another in various, and sometimes significant, details.
Without a third witness who agrees with one or other of you, or physical evidence, such as the damaged dresser, we will never know (and maybe not even then).
Some people tell their versions of things often enough that they begin to believe them as true, would pass a lie detector test, etc. My brother has a habit of retelling stories from his past that always put him in the best light, even when he’s called on it, he just looks at those questioning him as if they are crazy.
I always wondered why my parents did not remember all the events I did? Oh, they remembered a lot but many things the also remembered, I don’t.
FWD to my kids as teenagers. Same thing, my kids remembered stuff that was not on my RADAR at all & vice a versa…
Re-running the memory both internally & with others that were there will make then stronger. Or piss some people off.
Late in his life, my Dad would start telling a story and he would get something wrong and Mom would start correcting him. Several of us got together & asked her to stop doing that. We had heard the story a thousand times, knew where he was getting it wrong and that is did not make any difference. The joy for him was us listening to him tell the story.
Mom, being a smart mama, did as we asked and if it was not important right now, little mistakes or even big mistakes are not really a thing to worry about in our family.
