Ok - in relation to the recent Keyshawn deactivation…I got into a conversation at work on if one were to put together a team of (say the last 10-15 years pool of players) “misfits”. This is a football team made up of the loudest, sorriest, overblown, overrated, ego-maniacal pain in the ass excuses of “professional” athletes in the league to be gathered together and form a single football team. Who would you put on the team?
Me:
Quarterback: Jeff George (Backup: Ryan Leaf)
WR: Keyshawn Johnson
WR: Terry Glenn
This isn’t quite the same category, but if you mean guys who just never should have been in the NFL in the first place, the name “Charlie Batch” springs to mind.
Defense
LB: Brian Bosworth, Seattle - Too busy being a celebrity to play football.
LB: Brian Urlacher, Chicago - Just overrated
DT: Warren Sapp, Tampa Bay - A self-rightous asshole, and ethically challenged to boot. He should just apologize for what he did to Chad Clifton, already.
DE: Mark Gastineau, NY Jets - An incredible physical specimen with the brain of a chimp. My all-time favorite true NFL story: Gastineau walked up to a female reporter naked and said “What do you think of this?” She replied: “It looks like a penis, only smaller.”
CB: Tim Mckyer, Various - Just didn’t know when to shut the fuck up.
CB: Deion Sanders, Various - I don’t remember ever seeing him actually get his jersey dirty during a game, no matter how good his coverage was.
Offense
WR: David Boston, Arizona/San Diego - A bloated fat-ass whose first team dumped him after he had 1,500 yards receiving.
WR: Terry Glenn, Various - Sets the rookie record for catches (90) then disappears without a trace.
QB: Ryan Leaf, San Diego - Talented at being a prick. Unfortunately, that’s not a position in pro football.
RB: Ron Dayne, NY Giants - Here’s how fast THIS guy tanked: He qualified for the Olympic Trials-the Olympic Trials-in the discus during college, and set the Division 1-A rushing record. And four years into his pro career he can’t even crack the Giants’ starting lineup.
OL: Tony Mandarich, Green Bay - A steroid pig who, if he was smart, socked away his signing bonus. But then, Mandarich and “smart” don’t really go together.
Lawrence Phillips -drafted 6th overall by the Rams in 1996. Phillips said he would make the five teams who passed him up regret their decision. He never would shut and he rarely would perform very well on the field = worst of both worlds. I’ve believe he bounced around to a couple other teams before leaving the NFL.
What a great selection! The Redskins were so hard up for a running game with all their RBs hurting that rumors were floating around about Phillips. Not true rumors, just speculation. That’s how bad things were around here. What a nutcase.
Michael Westbrook
Heath Shuler–The $25 million-dollar flop
Dana Stubblefield–Big, slow, fat lug and steroid user to boot
Barrett Robbins–I lost the sympathy I had for him due to his mental illness when he took steroids.
Ki-Jana Carter–for someone so overly hyped, did he do anything?
Nate Newton–the first 400lb lineman, caught with almost that much pot–twice
A vote for Eric Crouch at QB. He was the only one in the world who thought he could play QB in the NFL. When others didn’t agree, (and after he got his ass kicked around a bit), he threw a tantrum and went home.