Al Greenwood, “The Bedspread King” is now an occasional commentator on Comedy Central’s “The Daily Show”. I used to live less than a block from Al’s original Bedspread Kingdom in Long Beach; crappy selection, high prices, rat droppings on the floor, senile old ladies behind the counter, and no sign of His Majesty.
The old store is now a pretty cool coffee house called Portfolio.
Any upstate NY’ers (Albany area) here? I’m having flashbacks of Tire Boy and Tire Girl, but can’t quite remember the full horrors…
“Shut up! I’m having a rhetorical conversation!”
AAAHHH!!! I’d forgotten that guy (after years of therapy)!!!
“Who comes in the dead of night?”
“ADEE DO!”
::::whimper::::
StoryTyler
“Not everybody does it, but everybody should.”
I’m frightened! Hold me… 
I mean, I’m certain they’re going to all collapse underneath him, aren’t you?!
At least Soul Man Paul isn’t as bad as Opal’s Chinese restaurant lady, or Shadow’s Mel Farr, or Enright’s Westgate Ford dealership… But I still had to suffer through Ralph AND Cal, dammit!
AAHHHHH…I’m having cheezy TV commercial overload!!! Enough’s enough!
::::runs screaming into the night::::
StoryTyler
“Not everybody does it, but everybody should.”
Oooh, we’ve got a doozy here in Lansing. Terry Hanks at Sundance Chevrolet. He’s a pseudo cowboy with the following type speel:
Hey partners, come on down to Sundance Chevrolet, where we’re ropin’ up some of the best deals in the Mid-Michigan area! For all you folks out there with a GM discount, we’ll take the best care of you and your family and sell you a great car, to boot! I wanna make you a deee-al on an auto-mo-bile!
Now, envision him in the rawhide coat with the sheepskin on the inside, cowboy hat, boots etc, and riding a horse around the lot. Eeeew. Not to mention they have a BAD reputation in town for dirty dealing. His commercials are VERY annoying!
Scene : Two men sitting across from each other at a desk looking very akward.
Man behind desk (in traditional local commercial reading-off-the-script voice) : I see here you missed a payment in 1982. I’m afraid we’re going to have to deny you credit.
Out jumps a man in ridiculous clown suit with foam bat and pounds the man behind the desk over the head. “I don’t think so! I’m the credit clown!,” he says forcefully. He then goes on to explain the wonderful car deals he has and the ad gets pretty boring from there.
Why are the annoying, screaming commercials reserved only for car dealerships and furniture stores? What is it about these professions that makes people want to scream about them?
I am the user formerly known as puffington.
The Norfolk Dopers may remember this…worst commercial I ever saw was in collge for a local lawyer. Lowell “The Hammer” Stanley. And yes, he called himself “The Hammer” on TV. Ick.
“You are sweet, kind, and considerate… Like a grown up boy scout with tits!”
Oh, God! I forgot about lawyers! Their commercials are right up there with car dealers, stereos, furniture, and auto insurance.
“Larry H. Parker got ME two-point-one-million!”
…Have you ever noticed that this guy is only shown from the waist up? If he’s a cripple or a double amputee, you’d think Larry could do better than 2.1 million! And if this guy is so well off now, how come he has to do ambulance chaser commercials?
How can you talk about Crazy Eddie without mentioning the sledgehammer he took to the merchandise to show just how crazy he was?
And OpalCat, how could you leave out Jim Click’s trademark twangy “Hi evraybody!” I don’t know about the coke dealing, but a friend of mine worked for him and told me of several deceptive sales practices. Who would’ve thought a used car salesperson would be so shady?
My additions- I’m assuming the Carvel ice cream guy is dead from throat cancer? It hurt just trying to imitate his rasp.
In DC, we had Mister Ray, of Mister Ray’s Hair Weave. He would parade out all of these clients with ultra-greasy jheri-curled weaves that ensured he would be out of business in short time.
Anybody remember Steven Matthew David from “Matthews, Top Of The Hill, Daly City!”? It was a large local TV/stereo store in the Bay Area. They had this long running deal where you would get a ten-speed bike if you bought a stereo. His very annoying ads would say “Buy a TV, GETABIKE!!! Buy a car stereo, GETABIKE!!! Buy a walkman, GETABIKE!!! Buy a replacement battery for that walkman, GETABIKE!!!” I swear this guy must have given away literally thousands of these things. Anywhere you went in San Francisco you’d see people riding around on these red pieces of crap (I think the brand was Firenzi, one step below the K-Mart special). He went bankrupt about 8 years ago and closed down. Gee, I can’t imagine why.
Up here in Toronto we have “Bad Boy” Furniture, owned and operated by none other than the son of our Mayor. Now there’s two hucksters that will have you waking up screaming! Especially with their “slogan”. Our Mayor (former “Bad Boy” owner and furniture salesman Mel Lastman) can’t shove his mug in front of a camera without screaming “Noooooooobody!” It just one of the many embarrassments that keeps Toronto from being a “world-class” city. (Oh, we THINK we’re world-class. Unfortunately, it’s not up to us to decide that!)
My fate keeps getting in the way of my destiny.
yosemitebabe, you’re right on with Crazy Gideon! I remember seeing him with a Napoleon-style hat, being dragged away with two gentlemen carrying butterfly nets. Made you want to rush right down and buy a stereo.
Catrandom, the bedspread king must be dead by now. I always had the impression that at least you could get some good deals going there (though I never did), but now Ursa Major says the prices weren’t even a bargain??? Ah, the power of advertising.
Another priceless one is the cheesy green of Earl Scheib on his auto-paint franchise signs. (Ursa Major, you might remember the one on Newport Boulevard in Newport Beach.) “Hi, I’m Earl Scheib, and I’ll paint your car for $99.99”
In Dayton, the hucksters invariably would try to go into politics and get roasted…
There was Joel Hyatt, A laywer who was Metzenbaums son-in-law, who tried to run for his dadinlaws senate seat when it came up…lost big time.
Then Steve Tatone, tried to run for congressman, ended up losing his car dealership in the deal, which wasn’t much of a loss, personally.
Can anyone in Dayton tell me if Big Bob’s is still in business? Place sold used carpets, and well, his ads would use some of the most redneck hick looking actors.
>>Being Chaotic Evil means never having to say your sorry…unless the other guy is bigger than you.<<
—The dragon observes
Just to prove that I was living in Orange County way back when there were actually oranges grown there: I remember, “Hi, I’m Earl Scheib, and I’ll paint your car for $29.99”!!!
The Bedspread King is alive and well and ranting on Comedy Central’s Daily Show. The Bedspread Kingdom has moved up to P.C.H (The original was down on 4th). I haven’t been inside, but the new one looks like a dump, as well.
I moved away years ago so I can’t remember the name of the guy, but he owned a discount gun warehouse and had these commercials around Indianapolis :
** “Cause I don’t wanna make any money folks, I just love to sell guns!”**
Anybody know if he is still there making those commercials?
Someone’s post above reminded me of a layer here, whose advertising slogan is “The Lawyer who send you flowers!”. Then they show a woman smiling while holding a bunch of flowers.
En3
Howzabout a radio spot? Tom Shane (he’s got shops all over), your friend in the diamond business.
“Just off Arapahoe Road on Emporia Street one-half mile east of I-25. Open every night, monday through Friday til 8, Satuday and Sunday til 5”
Isn’t brainwashing over the airwaves illegal?
I’m not a fallen angel, I’m a risen demon.