Whose demigod/descendent would you not like to be

If you were like Perseus and the rest and had a Greek* Pantheon member as a parent, which one would you NOT like to have

Me: Aphrodite. Because frankly son of Aphrodite sounds weird and although she will help you in battle, she kind of sucks at it and helps get your homeland destroyed/fails to protect you when your enemies stab you to death in the theatre of your mortal enemy.
And as when I played this game last, I was informed by a humourless believer and a clueless atheist that “Greek/Roman Gods are not real”, disclaimer; yes I know that, its just playing a game based on mythology and no I am not a neo-pagan, whatever the hell that is.

*Please employ the Greek nomenclature, but you can also consider the Roman versions attributes as well.

I wouldn’t was to be a child of Zeus. With so many half brothers and half sisters, it would be hard to keep them straight.

Really, there’s only one you need to worry about out. All those others? Inconsequential.

What do you mean, not real?

Plus Hera will no doubt try to make your existence…interesting.

I wouldn’t want to be the son of a rapeswan. In other words, I don’t want to play follow my Leda.

What he said.

I don’t remember ever hearing of him even having any, but being one of Hades’ bastards doesn’t seem to have too many up sides.

So go gay, then there’s no problem.

I’ll take a pass on Apollo because he’s a complete and utter pouty git. Can’t stand his ass ever since I learned the story of Cassandra.

I wouldn’t want to be a son of Hephaestus, because really, nobody likes Hephaestus.

Yeah, but he has always been the coolest in my view, and about the only one who seems to be worth anything.

He’s married to Aphrodite too, so that’s gotta count for something. And he’s the god of fire. Aaaand he pulled a wicked fast one on Hera, which gives him mad props in my book.

Your friends would all be hitting on her. Your half-brother is going around naked and shooting people with a bow and arrow. That would just make high school hell, wouldn’t it?

She posed naked for Orlando Bloom. That would be enough to disown her.

He is probably the least assholish “Big God.” Nobody likes him because he is ugly and his wife cuckolds him. Maybe Demeter is ok too, she’s just a vengeful bitch who takes out her daughter problems on the whole world in some versions though. Her ire would probably skip you, though.

Dionysus would be terrible. “Sorry son, can’t make it to soccer practice. I have a wine orgy scheduled.” Apollo and Artemis probably wouldn’t be great due to flightiness. Hermes might be cool in that “shiftless dad who’s approval you seek” kinda way.

I don’t know if Hades has any kids, but honestly his character was besmirched by Disney and earlier sources. They made him into the evil god (because the underworld = hell, right?). He wouldn’t have been flaying you alive as a child, just being a cold underworld guy. Don’t eat the pomegranate, though.

I think Hera would be the worst. She’s kind of a bitch and considering she’s already tried to disown a godly kid I’m not sure she would take too well to a human’s mistakes. Also while Hera treats Zeus’s kids like crap can you imagine how pissed Zeus would be at Hera’s kid. On top of that she really doesn’t have any power so it’s all downside as far as I can see.

As long as you didn’t decide you wanted to live separately from her.

But might be a cool parent, once you were grown up enough to appreciate wine orgies…

Good gods, which of them would be any better than the others? Even if you got a pretty cool, relaxed parent, one of their sibling/cousin deities would get pissed at them at some point and take it out on you.

If I had to choose one it would probably be Athena - she seems pretty well balanced as that sort goes (which is to say not at all, but whatever). She appears to be a pretty effective protector and less random over all then her sibs, parents, uncles, aunts, etc. And I like olives.

If I had to choose my least favorite it would be Zeus, because his kids always come to grief. And he’s be a total deadbeat dad.

Another vote for Zeus, particularly if the other parent isn’t Hera.

You’d be pretty immune to “Yo Mama” jokes… but yeah, that really wouldn’t make up for having your friends bugging you to set them up with her. :eek:

(And you can just bet she’d turn up to parent-teacher meetings dressed inappropriately).