Add a side helping of possum and you’ve got the perfect Passover meal.
So that’s what the giant burning red eye over Jerusalem is for!
On a serious note (for this post at least), I’d just like to point out the hilarious irrationality of our new posters’ Conspiracy Theory.
There are a group of people who pretend to be Jews. Think about that for a moment. The Jews, oppressed and tormented in virtually every age and virtually every nation, who else would you choose to pretend to be? It’d be like people trying to pass as black during Jim Crow or people pretending to be homosexuals during the Lavender Panic. Of course, there’s also the fact that they just made up a group and pretended that they’re the “real” Jews. But, seriously, people adopting an alternate identity and choosing the Jews of all people for it?
I’m not sure if it’s because they’ve fallen for their own trick and they really believe that the Jews rule the world (and so who wouldn’t want to pretend to be Jewish?) or if it’s just another example of racism fear-mongering being somewhat less than a serious intellectual discipline. Either way, yeesh.
Is it too much to ask for a Conspiracy Theory that doesn’t read like bad comedy or an L. Ron. Hubbard screed?
Aw, darn. Being a racist conspiracy theorist is HARD…
Is there, like, a beginner’s guide? Like “Idiotic Racist Conspiracy Theories for Dummies?” Although that would be redundant, yes? No? need answer fast!
I thought that just meant that it was Happy Hour at the Young Men’s Reformed Cultists of the Ichor God Bel-Shamharoth Association. Half price on Bloody Marys.
Sure, it’s not in what you think, believe, or can prove. It’s how you argue.
For instance, first, find someone to hate. Doesn’t matter who, doesn’t matter why. If you can blame them for your life not being what you want it to be, bonus points. Then, invent some stuff about them. Blacks? They corrupt white women. Jews? Control the world. Gays? Corrupt the youth. Whatever, go nuts.
Now, and this step is important, people who aren’t hate filled and lacking critical thinking skills, people who know about history and current events will, sooner or later, call you out. At this point, just start slinging bullshit. If you can manage a Gish Gallop of pure fiction, go for it. This is where having fellow racists with the same CT really helps, so that you can have a list of ready-made fake Talmudic quotes or fake Zionist quotes or fake statistics about how illegal immigrants cause all the crime in Colorado, or whatever. If you don’t have lists of bullshit, or if they get called out and people point out that you’re making up things and claiming that they’re facts, just cryptically murmur about how the tide of history is on your side and your critics are sheeple and they can’t handle the truth and yadda yadda. [Important! Do not end your rant with “Heil Hitler!” That’s only for private meetings. You have no idea how many people make that mistake, gives away the noobie racists every time.]
See, the important part of a racist Conspiracy Theory isn’t the theory, and it isn’t even the conspiracy, it’s the racism. Good luck, my young apprentice.
Wow, it’s so much to remember! I always thought it was a simple as “I hate them, they suck, therefore I’m right!”
I shall endeavor to do honor to your teachings, Obi-Wan.
Bah. Obi Wan was a (secret) Jew, just like all those damn Liberal Jedi.
No, call me Darth Angrypants.
I am SO working this into conversation at the very next possible moment.
Truth is stranger than fiction? So by that measure Haiti wasn’t struck by a natural earthquake, but instead by an earthquake generated by a machine located in Washington DC. Certainly that is the strangest explanation I have heard so far for it. Perhaps that isn’t as applicable as you think.
As to the quote: Here are three Nobel prize winning “truths” from this years awards. Please highlight the ridicule and violent opposition they generated:
Medicine - Chromosomes are protected by telomeres and the enzyme telomerase.
Physics - Charge “Bubble” Devices had the ability to transfer charge along the surface of a semiconductor.
Chemisty - The peptidyl transferase is an RNA catalyzed reaction, and there is a mechanism of inhibition of this function by antibiotics.
What? None of these generated ridicule or violent opposition? Perhaps that quote isn’t as useful as you thought either.
Do you have an actual argument, you know, one informed by facts and/or figures?
By the way, an interesting article over at Nizkor, admittedly from a Christian perspective (so there’s some theology that non-Christians wouldn’t agree with) but all in all a very interesting look at the modern union of some divergent racist groups.
Underlining mine.
[
](http://www.nizkor.org/hweb/orgs/american/christian-identity/religion-white-racists.html)
P.S. See? Cainites. Damn Jewish vampires.
Sounds like the tie in Ken dolls for Human Sacrifice Barbie, actually.
That explains how they don’t qualify as real Jews! Real Jews are anatomically correct.
Nah. The dolls just had a mohel with really bad astigmatism.
Yes, as I posted in the other thread:
[
](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=12064244&postcount=65)
While I fully concur in the general consensus that this thread’s OP is gibberish and tainted gibberish at that, I have to point out that Zionists of all people are in no position to disdain the phenomenon of a displaced group feeling a strong attachment to a long-lost homeland.
If it’s an original argument from me that you want, then I’ll give you an original argument. I’ll preface this argument by saying that I seriously doubt that any false-“Israelites” have actually participated in this thread, or any other thread on this site for that matter. The overwhelming majority of false-“Israelites” are so unfathomably wealthy as to consider online discussions of any kind with such “lesser beings” as those who have yet to reach the milestone of their first billion-dollar year in terms of personal income “beneath” them. I doubt there are any billionaires or trillionaires here among us. I imagine the average annual income of posters to boards like this to be around the $50K mark. To the false-“Israelites”, people such as us are even beneath “insignificant” in their eyes. False-“Israelites” would not “waste time” that they almost-certainly would feel is better-spent scheming to enlist others to do the work involved in expanding their Empire on such “trivial” matters as debating or ridiculing those who dare oppose them. My best guess of who is here ridiculing our posts? Some true Israelites and some non-Israelites who truly do not know whether or not they belong to one of the twelve Israelite tribes. People whose perceived “knowledge” consists of a lifetime’s worth of propaganda composed of a clever mix of outright lies and half-truths, the alleged “validity” of which they have scarcely even attempted to question. They, undoubtedly, feel very strong in their beliefs, but, unbeknownst to them, only in the Orwellian “Ignorance is strength.” sense. We do not “hate” these people at all! We pity them. We do not expect the scales to be miraculously lifted from their eyes all of a sudden, either. We sincerely hope, however, to convince them to begin using the power of Critical Thinking which God has given to the Human species and which sets the Human species apart from the “barnyard animals” which our self-appointed “Lords and Masters” of the false-“Israelite” persuasion consider us to be. A friend of ours coined the term “Lie Sandwich” to describe a favorite propaganda formula which the false-“Israelites” employ against those whom they consider to be of insufficient intellectual capacity to “catch” them at it. The “Lie Sandwich” term is one of many discussed in Kenneth Goff’s book, The Soviet Art of Brainwashing. Goff does not use the term “Lie Sandwich” in the book, but the term fits a technique descibed therein whereby a lie to be given false “validity” is situated between two statements which are widely accepted as “truths” (but may be lies themselves which are generally no longer considered untrue by a significant segment of the target audience). We challenge you to reject that propaganda and to go in search of the greater sustenance which comes from Truth. An excellent starting point is to read Kenneth Goff’s book from cover to cover! The book can be found on Scribd at the direct link I provided or located elsewhere by search of Author and Title if desired. All we ask is thay some of you perhaps do your own research and draw your own real conclusions rather than parroting the same canned “ridicule” we’ve seen a million times from those who remain determined to cling to factually-baseless Coincidence Theories rather than legitimately wonder whether they might have been deliberately misled all these years by some group of ultra-wealthy Elite whose only use for them is to exploit all of us for as much “cheap labor” as we can provide, with ever-declining wages and dignity for all of us in the long run. I don’t really care if these billionaire and trillionaire pukes call themselves “Jews” or “Oppossoms” or “Illuminati” or whatever. What difference would what they’re called really make if Elitist exploitation of us “insignificant serfs” really did turn out to be the secret plan of a few thousand ultra-greedy billionaires and trillionaires?
Where is Nurse Ratched when you really need her?
I sense a flaw in your cunning plan. Or would that just be a contradiction?
Plenty of other stuff for people to take issue with, but as a matter of sloppy presentation, you can’t say that a term is discussed and then that the term is not mentioned. The term is the word. You mean to say that the issue is discussed, or something like that.
Oddly enough, given that you presumably accept the surrounding parts as true, that would make your statement on Lie Sandwiches a Lie Sandwich from your perspective. I just thought it was funny, is all.
Actually, I did notice that I used the incorrect word (“term” rather than “concept”) in that sentence, but only after the five-minute timeout for making corrections by Editing the post had elapsed. So, I’ll see if I can get Moderator approval to fix that and another typographical error I subsequently noticed. From now on, I’ll have to get into the habit of composing my posts as txt files in an external Word Processor or remember to use the “Preview” button to proofread before posting, since every typo and/or hastily-composed sentence will be picked apart for technicalities just as the True Believers of Coincidence Theories always do whenever anyone dares challenge those Coincidence Theories. Picky, picky! lol