Why are kindergarten aged children obsessed with their place in line?

Factual Questions
1

From time to time I am around kindergarteners, just in the hallways of different schools or when I coach at an elementary school in the afternoon or on days off.

One thing I have noticed, is that their daily lives seem to revolve around their place in line. The kid who is first will not let you forget for the rest of the day they belong at the front of the line! And the poo kid in the back will throw an absolute fit if they have to be at the end of the line. Is it just a simple dislike of being last? Or is there some deeper anxiety involved than just being at the end?

2

Look at it this way: What else do they have as a status symbol? They don’t have jobs, cars, makeup, hair, physique, even their clothes are picked out by their parents. When they are at the front of the line, it is their day to shine!

3

Well, it could be argued that the young of homo sapiens are hard-wired not to be last in line because “last in line” is more likely to be picked off by hyenas.

4

I remember that from my own schooldays (and see it now with my son). I also used to play this weird little game in my head: if I had to throw some rubbish into the bin, and another kid had to do the same thing at the same time, and he or she lifted the lid, allowing me a short launch window to throw my own rubbish in there (while a “servant” lifted the lid), I’d consider that an ‘A’. Otherwise, having to lift my own lid was a ‘B’ (or neutral), and lifting the lid only to have another kid’s rubbish come screaming in on a low trajectory was a definite ‘C’.

Kids.

5

I think it’s about being in line to get things; even if there’s nothing to get, it’s the same principle. The first person in is guaranteed a share in whatever there is to get… while the last person gets the worst of whatever, or, none at all. Basic survival thing. I always did everything I could to avoid being last, because the last person in line is in greatest danger of falling into The Abyss. The Abyss is a scary place where no one will ever find you (actually, this summer I found out that it’s parking lot 41 of the Munich airport).

6

Like other hominids and pack mammals (e.g., wolves), there’s a hard-wired social barometer of pecking order and ‘fairness.’ Rather than who gets to eat the entrails of a kill first, it’s who’s first in line.

You can either try to socialize this instinct out of them by having a rigid determination of rotating who’s first in line (thus establishing your status as alpha); or, you can let them fight to the death for the honor.

But I’d be careful of the latter tactic. Sooner or later, you’ll turn your back, and you’ll be next.

Peace.

7

I think the reaction described may also have a lot to do with the local culture (social, ethnic, geographic, family, whatever).

Kids tend to be impatient, so being near the front of the line is almost always desirable How often do you line up to be marched to the ovens? [okay, that one is easy: pretty much “once, tops”] – but I never saw the kind of possessiveness and self-identification with ‘first in line’ that you described when I was growing up. We did recognize that there were certain unfair assymmetries - if your name began with a ‘Z’ , you were more often at the end, even if the criterion wasn’t alphabetical order [e.g. you may be marched out of class by rows, but the original seat assignments may have been by alphabetical order] We simply accepted this, and the more justice minded among us might protest “but Timmy is always last!”

I can’t recall ever seeing “possessiveness” of being first in line unless a teacher or parents failed to exercise their responsibility to assure even distribution of the spoils of chance. Admittedly many really never gave it a second thought. Either they only wanted to herd us from A to B with minimal inconvenience, or they had some unexamined notions of what constituted ‘fair’

The same applied to my kids and their friends. If one tried to cop an attitude, they usually responded fairly readily to a calm “we don’t do it that way here” or "That’s not very fair, is it? There are, of course, exceptions, but let’s just say this usually wasn’t their only ‘issue’.

Of course, we’ve all seen kids where such attitudes seem traceable to the parents (This was especially evident with my patients.), whether it is intentional "go-getter"ism or blithe unawareness of the attitudes they are fostering.

My point is not to slam the adults in these kids lives. It’s simply to note that, in my experience and according to the developmental theories I know, a moderate interest with place and order is normal, but it’s honestly not much more than with adults; it’s just expressed less discreetly. However, any number of adult policies and beliefs can inintentionally create an exaggerated emphasis on “place/rank”

In some families, age order can have the force of law (either oldest or youngest first). Many children become wedded to whatever folk rules get them their way, e.g. some girls assert “Ladies first” to a degree most woman would find embarrassing.

8

I adhere mostly to the theory it’s a thought that there might not be much left when the last gets there, or that it’s a status symbol. Especially the former, after observing the children in our church, as the ones I work with aren’t as interested in the status sort of thing, though they are to some extent of course, being humans, but there is that impatience that must be socialized out.

I of course foster it along by advising said boys that it might just be a good idea when lagging behind to say “First one in is a rotten egg,” when in fact most kids in my Midwestern area know it as “last one…” Once they have mastered that principle of believing that the first in line can actually be worst, then suddenly they realize that it doesn’t really matter as much as they thought it did.

I have also noticed that if there is a dispute during game time in our Wednesday night activity, 90% of the time the children will ask no more questions if I ask them to pick a number between 1 and 10 and award the winner the front spot. This, too, supports that, IMO. It’s more of a patience thing, but they are willing to learn to hold back; they know what’s fair, and one of those things is that they had a chance, at least, to be ahead ofa nother.

9

It’s simple dominance behaviour. The first to get anything is perceived to be the dominant member of the group. This is true of a lot of mammals, and it’s true of humans. We just instrictively want to be before others, because that suggests a higher place in ther heirarchy.

This effect is especially prevalent in kids, because kids haven’t yet learned quite as much in the way of cooperation skills, and because kids perceive time as moving slower than adults do and so feel more bored waiting in line.

10

" And the poo kid in the back will throw an absolute fit if they have to be at the end of the line"

Well, who really wants to be the “poo kid” anyway ? :slight_smile:

11

Funny, but it alsways seemed to me that it was the kindergarten teachers who were so obsessed with lines! Most of the commotion I’ve noticed with such classes is caused by the teacher fussing about everybody getting in line, staying in line, keeping the line straight, etc. The kids would seem to do just fine, if the teacher wasn’t running around worrying about lines.

12

This reminds me of a psychological study done on cattle. They monitored cows “in line” as they returned to the barns, and began to designate them in groups of A, B, and C; “A” being cows which had to be first, “B” cows as being comfortable following, and “C” cows which were most passive, even allowing other cows in front of them in line if there were the slightest confrontation.

I relate it to my morning commute. Nothing has changed since kindergarten, and “A’s” depend on “B and C” cattle letting them pull into line in front of them. They will every time. And it drives the other “A” types into apoplexy!

Bad thing about the rat race. Even if you win, you’re still a rat.

13

Oh God! Don’t get me started on this!

Here in Japan, the lining up thing isn’t so bad because the kids are assigned a class number at the beginning of the year and everything they do is in that order (my kid’s number is 11, out of 28, no big deal either way which is nice.)

BUT then they will find other ways to be first…

What was my older boy and his best friend’s biggest point of screaming tantrums when they were 5 and 6?? The number printed on the tab of yoghurt pot lids. AAAAGH!

They would look at the tab and then smugly say “I’ve got number 1” at which point the other would dissolve into heartbreaking sobs and wails on a good day, and fists and yoghurt would fly on a bad one. They both managed to imprint on their younger brothers that the number on yoghurt pot lids is vital to wellbeing and happiness. It got to the point that I took the lids off the pots for the kids before they ever saw the numbers, and even now two years later I still do, because I CANNOT STAND THE FUSS!!!

GAH! Kids.

14

A big thing when I was in primary elementary school (1974-1978) was the giving and receiving of “budgies” when in line. No, not the those pesky parakeets, but rather the giving and receivng of “budging” rights.

It was very quite sophisticated back then. If someone gave you the right to ‘budge’ in front of them, then you were duty bound to reciprocate upon request to said individual at any unspecified time in the future.

As a result of the giving and receiving of “budgies” there seemed to be less pushing and shoving in line – unless someone had a bad memory – b/c you could rely on good ‘budgie’ karma to put you in an advantageous position in line when necessary.

Of course, asking for and granting budgies had to be done judiciously, as there was no obligation to grant budgies if you were not obligated. Simply asking, “Can I have budgies” though, was usually good enough to start off a chain of good budgie Karma.

We seemed to have started this in the First Grade, and it seemed to continue until fourth grade. I don’t how it got started – it certainly wasn’t the teachers – but looking back, it was a great idea that we seemed to have implemented ourselves.

15

I messed with kids’ heads on this.

When I was a teacher I would counter the tendency to rush to the front by inviting the kids to come to the line as quickly as they wanted. Then when they were on line and the kid at the front smiling smugly, I would walk to the end, have everyone turn around, and declare that THIS end was now the front!

Of course, I wouldn’t repeat it every time. Sometimes the line would stay the same. Sometimes I would divide it from the middle to make new front/back ends.

The kids would draw one of two lessons from this:

  1. There’s no point in my rushing to the line because I might end up in back anyway. I would also take care to point out that there’s nothing wrong with being at the back of the line.

Or…

  1. No matter how hard I try, it will all be for naught. I cannot win. I cannot resist the cruel boot of tyranny as it presses down on my throat forever and ever…

Either way, a good learning experience! :slight_smile:

16

Ahh, if only it were true today.

~ Mean Ol’ stuyguy

17

Of course, the first in line was more likely to trip over the poisonous snake or stumble into the chimp ambush…

18

The kid in front of the line is just behind to the teacher. Proximity to power.

19

I’m thinking it is not just children obsessed with their position in line. Adults, teenagers, whatever – you wanna piss off sombud e, go head an cut im, and whach de sparhkz fliiiii…

“Hey!!! No cuts!!!”

20

Sorry about the reference to “poo kids”, its just at that age - well some of the little squirts can be really stinky.

I know we all like to be important (I guess the adult version of this is a nice title and parking spot), but I just wondered it was part of a certain developmental stage. They seem to outgrow that pretty quickly.