Why are men attracted to Lesbians ?

The Op says it all.

Mods - this is not a jokey / crappy / playboy-advisory question. I really want the psychological answer - if there is one beyond “Who cares? They’re great !”

Thanks all.

I can think of two possible reasons:

The potential for voyeurism (which I’ve heard is most men’s greatest fantasy :));


Same reason women like gay men - they genuinely like friendship with members of the opposite sex, without the risk of sex spoiling things.


They have all the best tools and they know how to use them.

Shrinking Violet - I think you’re closer with the first one, since I was mostly including Lesbian porn - i.e. what a massive turn on it is for most men… but thanks for the answers…

I can answer that. . .in lesbian-themed porn, there are plenty of naked steaming women, and no guys at which we must look (which makes you gay, you know :wink: ).

I think maybe the fact that lesbians are open minded sexually(or appear that way) can be sexy.

We have the same tastes.

I dont think those Penthouse type lesbians are real lesbians but straight women paid to do stuff…

Tarantula, I’d like to know where you got this idea that men are attracted to them? Are you talking about Andrea Dworkin? Have you ever seen her picture or her writing? Do you think men are attracted to her?

The old joke “I’m a lesbian stuck in a man’s body” comes to mind. Watching porn is enjoyable, men are very visual. The problem with porn is that occasionally a scrotum goes bouncing into your line of view. Witnessing a bouncing scrotum just kinda gives me that “ugh” feeling. Not quite on the level of thinking of nude geriatrics or naked mothers while aroused, but still a bit of a turn off. More on the level of seeing someone wearing spandex who shouldn’t. An “I really didn’t need to see that” kind of feeling, not a run to the toilet to vomit feeling.

But, like I said, we’re visual. So watching a sex act leads to a rather enjoble level of arousal, a.k.a., a boner. Now, if it’s lesbians we’re watching, there suddenly no risk at looking at the old chicken-skin sack. We can watch without risk of that “ugh” feeling. And that’s a good thing.

You do have a point. Aside from magazine lesbian posers most everyday “how ya doin, no penises today thank you” lesbians (not bi-sexual women) are not all that attractive to men in conventional terms nor do they seek to be.

Are you asking why heterosexual men are attracted to beautiful naked women having sex with each other in porn movies?

Gee, beautiful women…Naked…Having Sex with each other…hmmmm lets think about this.

Don’t forget that most of these woman also have sex with men in the movies so they are actually Bisexual. Many men dream of a three way with two women. The movies help with the visuals for those of us who have yet to have the pleasure.

For some reason Rosie O’Donnel and Ellen DeGeneres don’t have the same effect on me.

I’m 80 plus years old,have experienced war,belonged to clubs–i[ncluding playboy],volunteered in little league etc.------all of the things that guys do,including helping my gal raise a family…

I have two girly-girl neighbors and find them just about as interesting as all of the other neighbors--------no more than that!

So-------your question should be about SOME men.

Some men like porn flicks too

The rest of us have to much to do just living!

What, handy, you’ve never heard guys talking about “girl on girl” action in strip clubs and porn? (I use the quotes because I tend to assume the participants are not children, and thus are women, not girls.) Or heard guys say, “Wow, that is soooo hot!”? That’s where people get the idea that men find lesbianism arousing and attractive.

Of course, I’m sure they’re far more attracted to their idealized perceptions than to most real-life lesbians. Somehow I don’t see anyone wanting to watch my 45 year old boss bang her lover with a strap-on. (I don’t know that they do any such thing, as she never joins our in-depth sexual discussions in the ICU. I’m just saying, ya know.)

I think men are more attracted to the idea of lesbians rather than to actual lesbians (after all, I know that they aren’t sexually attracted to me).

To quote my former boss, who was a lesbian of the tool-belt, mullet-wearing variety: “Believe me, man, you don’t want to watch me having sex - it ain’t pretty.”

Right, for porn fantasies the answer is that (straight) men don’t really fantasize about lesbians. They want to be around (and of course then join in with) two straight women making out.
But if you’re just looking, it doesn’t matter if they’re straight, and ‘lesbian porn’ is easier to say that ‘two straight women making out porn’ .
Plus of course on an even simpler level, as troub said it’s a way to see twice as much of the good stuff (and aroused, involved, good stuff!) without having to see annoying other male parts around.

Because they are such fascinating people as a general rule. No way to respond to the question without generalizing but they’ve usually got a good sense of humor (often with sort of a “dark side”). Many of those I’ve known have been courageous folks who had to put up with a lot of shit in various forms and come to terms with things and then when they found someone to talk to and a community to be a part of, those things became, I don’t know, because they’d all been through them separately (or enough of them had) it was if they’d been through it together. I like being around them when they’re talking and hanging out with each other, they have a lot of fun. I’m not saying I’ve never met any whiny lesbians or humorless lesbians, like I say I’m generalizing here.

Do you mean attracted sexually?

Ummm, maybe we’re inherently masochistic and like to sit around a sigh and mope a lot? Hey, they are cool and fun to be with, and they’re female, so even though a guy knows it’s gonna be an exercise in frustration sometimes you can’t help but feel some interest.

On reading other posts to the thread, I gather you mean “why are men attracted to depictions of women having sex with each other”, which is yet a different thing. Like everyone else says, if the models/actresses in those things are lesbians, it’s a coincidence. Can’t add much to what others have said about that stuff, except that I’d enjoy seeing more hetero stuff except that it tends to focus on blow jobs and seldom show a guy doing things to arouse and tease his partner, or even vice versa, so the pseudo-lesbian porn is often more tingle-making.

Ellen, no. Rosie? In a heartbeat.

Bi-sexual female chiming in here. Not sure if this is the spin you are looking for but I have talked about this with men I have been involed with and at length with my current beau. HE said it turns him on thinking that I have gone down on another woman, thinkin that other women have gone down on me. Thinking of me with another beautiful woman [most likely with him right in the middle] etc. I think it sorts of doubles his pleasure and to think that it excites me and that I enjoy touching and tasting the same body parts that he enjoys arouses him. I think it’s cool that he is accepting of me for who I am and that he isn’t uncomfortable at all by it. It’s cool b/c we can walk down the street together and we both can point out hot girls!

Two words: exotic and unavailable.

Lesbians are not like ‘other’ women that they have been with, and are thus more interesting. And desiring the unobtainable is neither something only males do, nor is it only sexual – sort of the opposite of the sour grapes effect.

Women, in their own quiet way, find gay men attractive for the same reasons. Not being as interested in the visual aspect, you don’t find them looking at gay videos like the guys do the lesbian.

Ages ago, Art Buchwald had a piece where he said that when he was in the Army, the guy in his company who got laid the most would feign being gay. This made him irresistable to the ladies and they would ‘cure’ him of his ‘affliction.’ It was exagerated for comedic effect but it had a germ of truth in it.

Um…I’m not really a big fan of lesbian porn, but the idea of a woman being a lesbian is still sexy. Bisexual is even more sexy. To the extent that I know my own mind, the lesbianism is like a spice: on it’s own it is not very good, but it makes good stuff better. So an unattractive and/or butch lesbian is not sexy. However, a beautiful woman who digs chicks is even more sexy.

I am not cognizant of my feelings on this being attached to any multiple partner fantasies. As a thought experiment, I imagine myself with a bisexual girlfriend. Just the fact that she is attracted to women somehow makes her more attractive to me. I suspect that some of it is the fact that I feel like this is the only thing in the world that we same through the same eyes, so to speak. Her preference allows me to know her more closely, in a way that I would never experience with a straight woman. (Maybe that’s part of the reason butt sex is so enchanting to so many men: they can imagine what she is feeling even if they aren’t experiences themselves[?].)

I wonder if the more-tits, less-cock school of thought is to some degree a way to rationalize a deeper feeling that is harder to get at.

Having spent a lot of time thinking about this question (and much more time RESEARCHING it…) I can say I’ve come up with some of the same ideas already mentioned (seeing a guy being a turn-off, multiple-partner fantasies, wanting what you can’t have, identifiying with thier desires) but the one I’ve settled on as a major factor hasn’t been mentioned.

I believe many guys (maybe most guys) worry that women don’t enjoy sex as much as men do, and that most of the time when a woman has sex it is for reasons other than physical pleasure. They might believe women use sex to “tame” a man, attempt to control him though sex. They might fear it’s used as a bartering tool, or simply that the woman wants to know that she is desired to boost her self-esteem.

However, seeing two women engaged in the act, it is much easier to believe that at least one of them is doing it just for the physical pleasure!

Sadly, the truth is if the guy is watching them (in a porno), it is still a performance like any other, and just as likely to be done more for his enjoyment than their own.