msmith, QuickSilver, whatever gets you through the night.
I once read a really facinating book on Self Help books from the library- kind of a dry sociological analysis, but interesting as heck.
One reason, is that if a self-help book suceeds, they don’t sell any more of them. The typical self-help buyer has many, many self-help books. There is a certain portion of the population that gets some kind of joy out of reading self-help books. They process of thinking about self help gets them off, and the action never happens or doesn’t matter.
Another is that self-help books are kind of paradoxical- underneath them is the message “your problems are all your fault because you arn’t trying hard enough”. It discourages people from seeking social change or connecting with their community, and instead encourages them to gaze ever inwards, mulling over each fault. This doesn’t make anyone feel better.
:eek:
:o
Oh dear…
Bolding and underline in both quotes is mine.
Yes, gentleman. But the key points in both descriptions is about behavior. A tall, handsome, rich, well-dressed jerk with a nice car is still a jerk. I’ve never been interested in jerks, and any woman worth your time isn’t either.
True, a jerk is a jerk is a jerk.
But the nice guy who is tall, handsome, rich, well dressed, with a nice car has a lot better chance of finding a mate than the
nice guy who is short, fat, balding, poor, living with his mother, driving a Ford Focus.
Can’t speak with authority for msmith, but it’s gotten me through many an evenings (and nights) in the company of attractive, smart and interesting women. Sometimes it’s lead to additional dates. Sometimes to a long term relationship. Once even to a 10 year marriage.
What’s your point exactly? That these women were not attracted (especially initially) to my appearance/presentation as well as my personality and character?
For sheer brass, I prefer to go with Robert Allen’s shining example in “Nothing Down” or whatever it was-where he boasted of going into a town with only 100 dollars and bought a hotel. Yes, it was very simple for him, and if we follow his example, we, too, can be wealthy.
He took 50 dollars, rented a hotel room. Spent 50 cents on a paper and began calling the sellers in the classifieds.
He allotted himself 2 days for the purchase.
He finally found the target property, inspected it, made a few phone calls, looked at the income/outlay sheets, then, wrote up his own contract.
Then, he got his dad to lend him the money!
That’s your ticket to success, but you have to *work *the plan!!!
(Now, if you can only get his father’s phone number!)
hh
I knew a guy once who had a real boner for Conrad Black. He told me once about how he wanted to be just like Black (this was before Black was rung up on about a thousand criminal charges) because Black was a self-made man. Had built his zillion-dollar fortune up from nothing. If he could do it anyone could do it. Poor people had no excuse. I thought, well, that sure is a neat story, a guy becoming a millionaire out of nothing. How about that, good for him, and he scored a hot wife too.
Then I looked it up. Black didn’t start with nothing. his father was a millionaire and Black was given one of his companies. The dude was born with an entire silver service jammed into his mouth.
I approached my friend about this. “Well yeah,” he said, “but that company wasn’t running a profit when he took control of it!”
I think some people have a very weird definition of “nothing.”
Well if it’s only an evening of my time 
Pretty much the same here. I find if you dress in a put together way, are friendly and funny, and don’t act like a complete asshole, you aren’t going to have that much trouble meeting women.
Thanks to Diamonds02 for a good OP and for many good answers here. I happen to be fascinated by this publishing phenomenon, so I’ve read all the posts with interest.
FWIW, I think the answer is very simple, and has already been covered: because that’s what sells.
You have to understand (as I think most people do) that self-help books don’t really have anything to do with helping anyone to do anything. They exist to serve one purpose and one purpose alone: to make money for the author and the publisher. I’m not even trying to take the cynical path here – it’s just the way things are.
Vague is easier to write than specific, and, by a happy coincidence for the authors, vague also sells better than specific. After all, the more inherently vague the book is, the larger the potential audience, and hence the greater the potential ker-ching!!! A book full of specifics can only help that small readership whose specific situation matches the specific set of instructions on offer.