… being humans we are sometimes going thru a bad phase and are prone to do silly or wrong things… so why make a big fuss about it ?
Are you even paying attention to what has been said on this thread?
I don’t think I’ve ever suggested that someone should be sentenced to Life in a miserable relationship.
I just think that if someone is terribly unhappy and is feeling “trapped” by their monogomous relationship, then they should just say so to their partner. Say, “I don’t want to do this anymore” or “I want us to start seeing other people” or whatever. How many times do I need to repeat this?
Now, granted, if their partner is a raving lunatic who can’t be reasoned with and threatens suicide every time the mere hint of a breakup is mentioned, then I think that changes things considerably. But I highly doubt that most straying spouses have raving lunatic partners. They are just too gutless and chickenshit to just say that they want to roam. And as painful as just saying it flat-out would be to their partner, it’s far more painful to find out after the fact, months or even years afterwards, that the “normal” life they’ve been living has really been a absurd lie, and the person they trusted was just too gutless to tell them the truth from the beginning.
Once again, have you been reading this thread? Who here has advocated going behind her back to tell you what she’s done (unless she’s on the verge of spreading an STD to you, or something). IMO, most of the time it’s probably best to just stay out of it–and to certainly not help.
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Wrong to have an emotional affair with a married man while he still wanted to remain with his wife? I would think it was pointless to have an emotional affair with a married man while he still wanted to remain with his wife. For that reason alone I wouldn’t do it.
I agree completely. Emotional affairs are pointless. A sexual affair usually has two people who are not interested in the married person leaving their marriage.
If the spouse never knows no hurt ever happens. If a couple have a basicaly happy marriage but one or the other feels like SEX, not a relationship just sex, how does that hurt the spouse? If it is just about sex it a) doesn’t last long and b) both parties do not want it to be discovered.
The marriage continues on as normal. For the sake of a bonk the married person should tell their spouse that the marriage is over? That sounds like more people end up hurt to me.
Besides which the Op was about why sluts are hated by other women. Women feel free to judge you because you have slept with X number of men. Yet men are not generaly judged the same way. We all have different needs and priorities.
Judging other is not productive, it doesn’t change their attitudes or behaviours.
Well, that’s good to hear. However, many men apparently don’t want to leave their wives (because they don’t do it–opting rather to sneak around behind the wife’s back) and yet they want to have “emotional” affairs with other women.
So while I am guessing that we’d both agree that such women (who have “emotional” affairs with married men who don’t leave their wives) are foolish (or doing something pointless) would you also think that such women are doing something morally wrong, because they’re helping the man “betray” his wife in such a way?
Hey, that’s fine and dandy, until the spouse does find out. That’s when the hurt begins. And how can anyone guarantee that the spouse won’t find out?
We’ve covered this before. The SEX from the outsider may bring in a disease to the wife. She’s entitled to know that she may be at increased risk. (And even if he’s “careful,” no precautions are 100% foolproof.) And what if the lover gets pregnant and decides to keep the baby? The husband is now on the hook for child support. And if he and his wife already have kids, that’s income that is being bled away from her (the wife’s) kids and her (the wife’s family) to help support the kid of the lover. While the wife can’t stop her husband from possibly impregnating someone else, I think it certainly can affect her domestic life.
But pregnancy, STDs, and being unwittingly discovered do happen, are real risks, and such occurances are not rare or infrequent. And then the spouse is hurt.
Yes but you ignored the part where i said it doesn’t last long and neither party want it to be discovered.
No discovering ever happened round me.
Oh, I see. So this suddenly means that no one will accidentally catch an STD (it’s been known to happen, even when precautions are taken) and no one will get pregnant (it’s been known to happen, even when precautions are taken). Because both parties don’t “want” it to be discovered. Oh yeah. That makes all the difference.
Because we all know, when someone doesn’t want to be discovered, they never are! Isn’t it cool, how it works that way, 100% of the time? Wow, why hadn’t I thought of that before? I can do whatever I like, and as long as I don’t want to get caught, I won’t! WOW! This is a fantastic revalation to me!!!
Hmmm…however…does that mean that all the people who are caught doing things that they shouldn’t be doing must have wanted to be discovered? 
And I’m sure that you think that because it hasn’t happened so far, it’ll never happen. I’m sure that everyone else who is eventually discovered assumed the same thing–up until the time the finally got caught.
This argument could go round and round forever. “breaking the marriage vows” is bad if you are married. I never made anyone break their marriage vows. I am not married so I am not breaking mine.
Not necessarily. I never thought of the woman who had an affair with my ex as doing anything morally wrong herself.
Yes, obviously it could.
And helping someone else break marriage vows suddenly isn’t? Does it work this way in any other capacity? If it’s “bad” (and you agree that it’s “bad,” right?) then why is it perfectly acceptable to help someone else do something “bad”? This I don’t get.
But you *helped. *
This is the crux of it for me. You helped someone betray someone else. IMO, I think it would usually be best just to stay away from it–don’t help, don’t do anything, just say, “Hey man, leave me out of this.” But no, you don’t want to stay out of it–apparently you want to help.
Fair enough–that’s somewhat consistent for you to say that.
So I am to assume that you would agree that helping someone betray their spouse is morally right?
I think we’ve pretty much covered everything here. “Betraying” someone is bad. Helping somebody betray someone else is good. Okay. Got it.
Yes, obviously it could.
And helping someone else break marriage vows suddenly isn’t? Does it work this way in any other capacity? If it’s “bad” (and you agree that it’s “bad,” right?) then why is it perfectly acceptable to help someone else do something “bad”? This I don’t get.
But you *helped. *
This is the crux of it for me. You helped someone betray someone else. IMO, I think it would usually be best just to stay away from it–don’t help, don’t do anything, just say, “Hey man, leave me out of this.” But no, you don’t want to stay out of it–apparently you want to help.
Fair enough–that’s somewhat consistent for you to say that.
So I am to assume that you would agree that helping someone betray their spouse is morally right?
I think we’ve pretty much covered everything here. “Betraying” someone is bad. Helping somebody betray someone else is good. Okay. Got it.
Not necessarily, it may just be morally neutral.
Well, I don’t usually get involved with this sort of thread, being that it seems more pit like than IMHO, but I just wanted to say that I agree with Yosemitebabe, FWIW.
I guess I tend to think of the man/woman that my spouse would be cheating with as an analogy with the getaway driver for the bank robbery. If the question is “did he rob the bank” then the answer is of, course, no !- but if the question is - “did he commit a crime”, then the answer is hell yes ! Whether the bank robber would have found another getaway driver or not, the fact is, YOU decided to assist in the commision of a felony, and you are going to be the one liable for your own actions.
Anyway, I know that If my future wife is ever cheating on me with another man, I sure as hell will be holding him very responsible (in addition to the wife, of course).
Anyone except yourself of course... right ?
What if its a “she” ? No problem ?
:smack:
The dynamics of supply and demand apply even to zombies.
Zombie sluts are the worst!
The fact that this thread is so old, many of the participants are no longer around, and because the framing of this discussion is at odds with the tone we’re trying now to take, I’m closing this thread.