Why, cruel Starbucks, why?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

My local Starbucks has taken to playing cruel jokes on me. Let me first offer a preemptive “bugger off” to the Starbucks-bashers who would berate me for shopping there in the first place. I am familiar with your complaints. Now go. I don’t live in a funky college town with numerous coffee shops any more; I now reside deep in the heart of Fairfax County, Virginia, the second wealthiest county in the nation, if statistics are to be believed (my checkbook tends to deny this, but that’s another thread entirely). The ground is thick with yuppies. The coffee shops within driving distance of my home are either S-bux or nothin’. I used to like buying my coffee there, because before they became a huge mega-corporation, they used to be a pretty good company, with good ideals and treated their employees well. But I digress. I more often buy my coffee at Fresh Fields, where I can get organic shade-grown beans (AKA Tree-Hugger Coffee), but at least Mega-Coffee has Fair Trade beans.

The last few times I’ve gone there, I’ve looked up at the “menu” board, where ostensibly the coffees they have available for purchase are listed, in case they have something I like but isn’t out on the display. On a visit about 6-8 months ago, I let out a little gasp of delight and said, “You have Panama? Gimme some of that!” “Um, no, we don’t have that.” Crestfallen, I got a pound of Fair Trade—which is not bad coffee, it’s just not what I had gotten my hopes up for. The last two times, it’s been fair Mexico that has teased me. I LOVE Mexican coffee almost as much as Panamanian coffee. It’s goooood stuff. The first time, the young fellow told me they were out of it but would have more soon; he sold me my fallback Fair Trade for the employee price to make up for my disappointment, which I thought was marvelously kind of him. Tonight, I once again ventured in and again inquired as to the availability of Mexico. “We don’t carry it.” You don’t carry it? Then why, pray tell, is it listed up there on the wall? What on earth is the purpose of that board? To raise the hopes of your customers so that you can cruelly dash them, I suppose. Is it really that difficult for someone to get up on a ladder and take the damn thing down, at the very least to prevent the patrons from asking for things they can’t have (then again, maybe I’m just the only one naïve enough to think that those coffees are real).

So of course I once again got the bridesmaid Fair Trade, and am off to Peace Coffee to order some organic, shade-grown, fair trade Mexican coffee!!! I have to wait two weeks for it, but at least they have what I want!

Sheesh.

2

I feel your pain. Last time I went to buy a pound of Costa Rican, it was all gone. They hadn’t had it for weeks.

3

Caffeine BAD. And what’s with coffee being a social statement now? “Fair Trade” coffee? Dam’, 'babe, you were in the friggin’ NAVY, where they use what comes outta their coffeepots to ignite sub-launched ballistic missiles! We couldn’t deploy a single ship without coffee (and that’s the only serious thing in this whole post).

Ya see where I’m goin’ with this? COFFEE AIN’T A HIPPIE THANG! IT’S THE FUEL OF THE BIG OLE EVIL AMERICAN WAR MACHINE, even more surely than JP-4! And now we’ve got “Fair Trade” coffee? That label is almost certainly false; can you get “Exploited Peon” coffee? You BET you can! It’s just labelled "Fair Tr

Ah, fergit it. I’m tired. I shouldn’t post when I’m tired. People and other humans might think I’m serious.

But HEY, 'babe, as long as you’ve got your left turn signal on, help me sing this song, to the tune of Arlo Guthrie’s “If I had a Hammer”:

“If I had a hammer,
I’d nail ‘er in the mornin’.
I’d git some in the evenin’,
Bendin’ 'er over this chair!”

"I’d hammer out a Big O!
I’d hammer out

Ah, fergit it.

Hope you’re doin’ good, 'babe. And that’s ANOTHER serious thing in this post. :slight_smile: Hope we see ya soon.

4

Bluesman, I love you very, very much. See you and your lovely bride at Dave’s, eh?

5

I must have two cups of coffee first thing in the morning or else I’ll be catatonic all day. Luckily, I’ve found two great local coffee shops with incredible coffee: One World Cafe on N. Charles and Ten Thousand Villages on Thames. They both sell all sorts of Fair Trade, and as a fan of Mexican, I agree that theirs is the best.

If you’re ever in Baltimore, you just gotta stop at one of those places. You might also want to check for a Ten Thousand Villages around you. Not only does all the money go to international charities, but they will give you samples of the coffee before you buy it.

I started hating Starbucks about a year ago when they stopped serving Chai tea. I looooove Chai, and I drink an inordinate amount when the weather gets all cold and foggy and soggy like it is now. Also, I think their selection sucks, and the people behind the counter seldom make a pleasing mocha-frappa-latte-choca-chino or whatever the hell you call those buggers. But as a fellow coffee fiend, I cannot judge you. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do, right?

If it weren’t for my school’s Jazzman’s Cafe, I would be going through Chai withdrawal right now. Thank God for Miss Berty, who makes the most incredible foamy heavenly Chai ever.

6

This is actually a pet peeve of mine–something being on the menu or menu board that isn’t available. Heck, I know things run out–temporarily. I’m all grace and forgiveness about that. But when it’s been months, how about changing the menu? Or adding an asterisk!!!

There is a Dunkin Donuts in town here that stopped selling fountain drinks. You can buy a 20-oz soda in a bottle, but not fountain drinks. But the menu still lists three “Sizes” of soft drinks you can buy. The first time, okay. Two months later, when it was still like that? Come on!!!

If you need me to come pistol whip someone for ya Geo, I’m your man. Well, woman, but you know what I mean.

7

I have Costa Rican in my freezer, Gingy! Wanna cup?

8

I’m seriously thinking about writing to the franchisee or whoever is in charge to complain. It’s ridiculous that this keeps happening. The menu board did get changed at some point, as the Panama is no longer listed, but clearly it doesn’t get updated nearly often enough. They can have the kids crawling around on ladders every damn week to change all the damn “Buy this!” signs but they can’t change the menu. Peckerheads.

9

This is why I love you. Send it up, UB!

10

Hey. HEY! Don’t be offering someone ELSE the good stuff in MY thread! OK, so I didn’t mention my love for Costa Rican coffee (they didn’t have that either, BTW), but still.

11

I’m right with you on the wonders of Chai, m’dear Nacho4Sara.. the various Starf*ucks cafes here in NYC serve it. But I’d never take you there for it. Their chai sucks things that were never meant to be sucked by humans. Instead, I’d take you to Timothy’s, whose chai I refer to as “sex in a cup.” It also costs about a dollar less than the gack you’d buy at The Green Machine.

Geobabe, you should bring extra luggage when you’re in town for the MegaDopeFest. I and my locals will see to it that you can load up on pounds of whatever black nectar suits your fancy. As to your bank balance and Fairfax County being the second richest: did you ever think that maybe it’s you who’s holding them back?

12

Holding them back from what?

13

Why, from being the first richest, of course. :stuck_out_tongue:

14

Ah, I get it. Don’t mind me, I’m just slow tonight. Lack of caffeine and all.

15

WTF kind of crappy-ass Starbucks d’you have, that they don’t bother to update their bean menu? (trying to remember if the bean menu at her store still has Panama La Florentina on it) I mean, come on! Soon’s the Christmas “season” hit we had to revamp ours.

I don’t know what the deal is with the Organic Shade-Grown Mexico, my store hasn’t gotten it in recently either. I’m starting to think it may be seasonal, like the Gazebo blend (which I’m not fond of). It sux, because a lot of people like the Mexican coffee, and for good reason. (I think I have most of a pound in my cupboard, would you like me to mail it to you?)

Out of curiosity, what sucks so bad about Starbucks Chai? Assuming, of course, we’re talkin about the drink they’ve given the lofty name “Chai Tea Latte”. I’m not a tea drinker m’self, so I have no clue how the stuff’s s’posed to taste, except the Chai I make at work tastes okay with a pump of Gingerbread syrup.

16

Geobabe, I think you should consider yourself lucky that they had anything. The last time (as in “very last”) I was in Starbucks, I waited in a long line while some stoner clerk made whipped frozen crapolattes for a bunch of lusers. When I finally got to the counter, I ordered a large black coffee. He said, and I quote, “Whoa, I forgot to make coffee. Can you wait, like, ten minutes?” Uh, no.

No freaking coffee? WTF? And no, I don’t want what the people in front of me were having. Double espresso, and if you do anything to imply that you’re not single-minded in your determination to fill my order quickly, I’m coming over this counter. [sub]Oops, was that out loud?[/sub]

FWIW, I agree with you about Mexican. My local roaster does a fantastic Mexican, but he never brews it to serve in-house because it’s not exotic enough for his yuppie scumbag clientelle.

17

Chai is a mix of black tea, milk, and spices that is heaven in a cup. I like mine hot and hot only.

The Starbucks near me stop serving it in the first place a while ago. But primarily, it was either way too watered-down or terrifyingly, gag-inducingly strong, not to mention overpriced. I resent Starbucks for being so hit-or-miss - before I stopped going there, the taste of my drink was always a surprise. Sometimes I’d get the chocolate-iest mocha ever made, other times it would taste bitter and horrible. I never paid for a decent cup of anything there.

I’m not going to make broad statements about all Starbucks, but I will say that at the three I used to frequent, service was always horrible. Two were by my work; one in a mall and one in a Barnes & Noble. The mall one was significantly cheaper than the B&N, which just confused me. The B&N one only ever had 2 people behind the register, even though the Starbucks seating area was huge and there was always a long line, so you had to wait forever to get your drink. The mall one usually employed about eight people at once, and they sort of wandered around looking dazed. It still took ten damn minutes to get my order.

The other Starbucks was in an affluent suburb (I used to work nearby), and the teenagers working there were snotty, rude, and condescending. They were normally too busy discussing who was sleeping with whom after prom or who had the newest Gucci boots to actually make my drink in a timely fashion. I am predisposed to bias toward snotty white rich kids, since they once made my life a living hell, so it was all I could do to not gouge their eyes out with that stirring-thing or pour scalding water on their faces while I waited twenty minutes for them to finish their conversation and make my drink.

Luckily, there’s XandO, One World Cafe, the Daily Grind, Funk’s Democratic Coffee Spot, and Jazzman’s to give me my daily allowance of Chai. And you know what? The people there never mess it up. It’s always just right, and under $2, which makes my wallet very very happy.

Oh God, now I have an overwhelming Chai craving, and it will be at least 12 hours until I get my next one.

Cap’n, I’ll be in NYC for the MegaMetropoLopoDopefest, so maybe you can take me to Timothy’s then. :slight_smile:

18

Will do! They’ve been known to make it too strong also, but since it’s all I ever order they’re usually willing to work with me.

I would kill for a sub-$2 cup of anything, especially chai.

Hmmm … I wonder if we can arrange a MochaChoccaLattaDopeFest coffee crawl? All us Joe-fiends would descend like locusts upon some unsuspecting non-Starf*cks venue and start sippin’ the groovy bean. Or leaf, for those tea-inclined.

19

Well at least you weren’t looking for cheese

20

Real coffee :stuck_out_tongue: