Why did an Apache helicopter just circle my house?

About five minutes ago, I heard a helicopter approaching chez Kabong. It got quite loud, so I hied myself out into the street and saw that it was an Apache attack machine. I’ve seen them frequently patrolling the Houston area ever since 9/11, but usually flying straight-line routes. This time it circled three times, with the circle centered just about on my townhouse, low enough that I could practically read the pilot’s silly nickname on his helmet. M-u-f-f-d-i-v…; well, not quite, but he seemed quite a lot lower than usual. Oh well, at least he didn’t open fire.

The coveted Kabong Award (one dozen top-quality kudos) goes to the person who comes up with the best explanation for what the chopper was doing. My guess: the HOA has finally decided to get serious about people putting their trash bins away.

I’d do a quick check on your local news, to see if they might be looking for a criminal on the run. Was there a robbery or carjacking, gang violence, domestic violence, or a hit and run within running distance of your house? :confused:

Hot neighbor lady is a nude sunbather, eh?

Typically, they wouldn’t send a Hellfire-armed Apache after your house. Granted the FLIR may help locating criminals, but I doubt the chain gun will do anything except level houses to keep a clear eye on the guy.

Just my two cents.

Maybe they were asking for directions from one of your neighbors.

Two guesses, off the top of my head:

  1. Training the new pilot
  2. ATC gave them a few penalty turns for whatever reason

I’m not an Army helo pilot, so take them for what they’re worth.

Idiots! They were supposed to use the stealth chopper! Now you know too much. Some gentlemen in black will be calling on you later. Please go along quietly, resistance is a drag.

I will neither confirm nor deny that this is probably the most logical reason.

There was no helicopter. Go back to sleep.

I was under the impression that the military isn’t allowed to do domestic law enforcement, under that there Posse Communist Act or whatever the hell it’s called. Besides, so far the biggest disturbance I’ve ever seen in this neighborhood has been one cat getting in a scrap with another.

So far, I’m leaning towards Wile E’s explanation. I’ll just go back to hiding in my closet now.

Pilot was bored, said to himself:

“Lets see how long this takes to make it to the dope.”

“Lets see if I can make this dope wonder what the hell I’m doing”

“Hi Opal!”

I live near the Boeing facility where the Apache’s are built. I regularly see them flying in groups of three on shakedown runs (I presume). I’m amazed that these things could sneak up on anybody in a combat zone, they’re freaking LOUD.

Looking for grow lights in the basement with their IR gear.

You’d be surprised. When they’re cloaked (lights off) on a low illum, it’s nigh impossible to see them at night. And although they are very loud, if you’re on the ground it’s very hard to get a bearing on them. You can figure out the general direction of where they’re at but it’s really hard to find out just exactly where, where it’s coming from, and where it’s going.

When you ran out in the street and shielded your eyes from the sun, you cocked your elbow up in a way that looked like you were holding a weapon and he circled until he could see you were (mostly) harmless.*

Otherwise I vote for the sunbather explanation.

  • I was actually in an event like this. Years ago, in Detroit, I was out on Belle Isle with a long lens camera shooting the skyline, the Ambasador Bridge, and any wildlife that happened by. I heard a chopper that sounded like it was running low, just off the shoreline, so I focused on the edge of the bush in that direction. As the Detroit Police copter came out from behind the shrubbery about six feet off the water, I was standing on the shore with two hands holding the camera aiming right at the bird. He flared up and I dropped my camera to my side and he flew on.

You’ll find out why we circled your house when we want you to find out, m-er f-er! Just get in the black van.

Maybe local law enforcment got a good deal on an Apache on eBay.

:dubious: You’re not Osama bin Laden, are you?

The helicopter version of a rain dance?

(apache->native american->rain dance->going in circles, har har!)

Was it a British Apache or an American one?

By which time it’s too late.

BTW I’ve been up close and personal with an Apache and they’re surprisingly small.