Why did benzos cure my depression?

So my depression started around 2006. I did 2 years of out-patient therapy and tried a dozen or so meds but they helped very little. In 2012 it got worse after a surgery with stressful complications (circumcision lulz) and I started drinking. It started with a few beers per evening and in 2014 I was already at 1 bottle of vodka per evening. That’s when I told my psychiatrist about my drinking and he prescribed benzos for withdrawal.

Despite taking less than prescribed, these benzos made me super euphoric and had a stimulating effect which AFAIK is rather unusual, and after I ran out of them I started drinking again because I was still depressed, though maybe a bit less than before. After a month or two I told my psychiatrist I was drinking again and he again prescribed benzos and the situation repeated itself.

I didn’t want to tell my psychiatrist I had started drinking yet again, so I ordered some “research chemical” benzos online (these are benzos that aren’t used as meds so can be sold/bought legally without prescription). They had the same effect as the prescribed ones, but when I ran out of them after a month my depression was simply gone. It’s hard to describe how big the difference in my mood/thoughts was compared to when I was depressed, it’s like all these years of depression were a psychotic delusion and I was suddenly fully grounded in reality. That happened in december 2014 and I haven’t been depressed a single day since then (and haven’t taken benzos again).

There are lots of of odd drugs that show potential for treating depression like ketamine, shrooms, LSD, MDMA. But benzos? The overlap between people diagnosed with depression and people being prescribed benzos for various issues must be huge but I’ve never heard it suggested that benzos could be useful in treating depression (except in cases where the depression is caused by anxiety). But they did cure my depression. I just don’t get WHY?

Now I’m trying to cure my cluster A personality disorders by eating random chemicals I ordered online, but without success so far. :rolleyes:

Benzodiazepines may have a role in treating some cases of depression (notably, in people who also suffer anxiety symptoms), but have drawbacks including drowsiness, habituation etc. They may even contribute to chronic depression resistant to therapy.

You can find anecdotal evidence in support of almost any proposition, so it’s not surprising to hear someone convinced that benzos “cured” their depression. As a general rule, expecting benzos alone to do the trick would lead to disappointment.

Assuming this is for real, I can’t begin to express how bad an idea it is. :eek::smack:

This is probably one of my fringest theories:

I think drugs have the ability to sometimes flip a switch in your brain that can last much longer than the intoxicating effects of the drug.

I’ve never been a fan of squash. But one drunken night at a friend’s house, the food being served to me by my host was chicken breast and squash. I was SO hungry at the time I basaically told myself: "Fuck it, I’m just gonna choke this shit down?

I did, and it wasn’t all that bad. And in fact, to this day, I’ll still eat squash.

As even weirder story: One day in my 20-somethings, I decided I was going to trip shrooms all by myself. At the peak of my high, I started meditating. I had issues with self esteem and confidence at that age. And my meditative thoughts focused mainly on that. I can’t remember all the epiphanies that came rushing through my mind. But I DO know that it had a lasting impact on me and how I relate to this world. (for the better)

But not random squash you buy on the Internet, I hope.

I don’t know the details, but I was once told by someone really into drug pharmacology that benzos inhibit neurons via GABA, and that include some inhibitory neurons that normally tamp down some reward centers in the brain.

So basically the benzos make the inhibitory neurons that tamp down reward centers not work as well, resulting in euphoric feelings.

No idea if thats true, or if thats why you felt better.

Makes sense to me, I swear I cured a bunch of social issues I had by going on a six month bender what i was drinking nightly when I was 22 or so.
Before that I rarely spoke, to anyone but my mother and a few girlfriends.
Too awkward.

Since then i’m more or less normal. 6 months of alcohol lowered inhibitions and I became comfortable talking forever.
Ive never drank on a regular basis before or since

What is your definition(s) of meditation?

disinhibition. Acquired Brain Injury. Also a symptom of Tertiary Syphilis :slight_smile: