I’m sure not all BMW owners are assholes, but it surely seems like a preponderance of assholes drive them.
Is it that they need this car to boost their self confidence, or is it that buying a Beemer turns them into assholes? 
I don’t know. I consider myself to be an asshole of the highest order. My next car will be one of three BMWs. Make of that what you will.
I don’t recall getting a boost of assholery when I bought mine, so I guess I’ve always been one.
Hmm, I don’t think I’m an asshole, but I drive a BMW. Is there somewhere I can check? The “am I an asshole?” test?
I am an asshole and I had my lovely 3 series BMW until last year when I wasn’t paying attention and slid into 3 cars at a red light. Luckliy it was the other drivers instead of me that got hurt. I decided to get an SUV after that but I will probably get another BMW next.
My wife drives a BMW. I suppose she is kind of a bitch but that started before she got the car. Hasn’t helped any though.
My FIL drives a BMW 740IL. Everyone always says he is an incredible asshole but he does have some redeeming qualities. I didn’t know him before he started driving BMW’s.
Do you know the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
The porcupine has a prick on the outside.
Funny coincidence…I was just looking at the M5 on the BMW website, drooling over it, determining where to buy one. Coincidentally, I just got a promotion to management.
I’m wondering if there’s a correlation.
Hmm…
Maybe it’s a regional thing. Most of the assholes around here drive large pickup trucks or SUVs, usually with “Choose Life” license plates or “Bush/Cheney” bumper stickers, but those are optional.*
*Note: not all cars with “Choose Life” plates or “Bush/Cheney” bumper stickers are driven by assholes around here. The majority are not assholes. But it does seem that every asshole is in a 4,000+ curbweight vehicle with those stickers/tags affixed.
BMW’s really will turn you into a driving asshole. They cruise so fast and so well that it is easy to wonder why everyone else has slowed to a crawl until you look down and see that you are going 105. I have had countless passengers say they didn’t believe we were going a mile over 60 when I was driving at 90 and above.
Likewise, they handle extremely well too so it is easy to drive them very aggressively in traffic. Most other cars just can’t be driven the way a BMW can be very easily.
I am in full agreement with the notion that BMW Driver = Asshole. I can’t begin to count the number of times I’ve been cut off/tailgated/etc by BMW drivers. The wife and I are in complete agreement on this issue and will brook no contrary discussion.
Fortunately, I don’t see too many BMWs here in Silicon Valley.
I’m kidding with that last part.
'Cuz they were sold out of Hummers?
:: hangs head in shame ::
I’m fairly certain that if I ever get my M3, I will instantly become a member of the distinguished order of the Orifice of the Ass. Fortunately I’ll be flying by so fast and with such mind-numbing nimbleness, my asshole presence will only be felt for a fleeting moment.
I’m not an asshole, but when I buy my BMW, I’ll let you know if I’ve changed.
Tiggrkitty has a Z3, and I haven’t noticed any assholishness/bitchiness since she got it.
My dream car (most accessible one anyway) is an M3.
I want one. I will have one. And if getting one turns me into an asshole, well, then I’ll be an asshole.
But, I’ll be an asshole with an M3! 
cf’75
I’m a first-rate asshole, where’s my BMW?
Come to Britain, where everyone agrees that BMW drivers are wankers. Audi drivers, too.
I’m an asshole. Be getting my BMW next year to prove it.
Seriously, it’s like saying “Why are all Honda drivers assholes?” Well, there’s bound to be a few. There are many asshole drivers, period.
A serious answer - I think that the reason many BMW drivers are assholes is that the BMW brand has kind of become the ultimate lazy/unthinking status symbol - your average asshole knows that “BMW = Nice, bro” so that’s what they buy. Any halfway-knowledgable auto afficianado knows that BMW’s are exceedingly low quality vehicles with extensive maintenance problems, but your average ex-fratboy that’s clawed his way up to middle management doesn’t have the slightest clue other than that they’re a status symbol, so that’s what he drives.
and expensive maitenance problems. Perhaps the level of asshollery corresponds to the level of the repair bills?
Not just BMWs; I find VW drivers seem to be especially prone to cutting you off, not signalling, doing stupid shit in parking lots, etc., just like BMW drivers.
It’s the German influence. The car wants to be a Panzer.
Actually, VCO3, you may be right about it being a status symbol and hence drawing from a self-selected sampling of shallow-minded simpletons (great alliteration.) My buddy, during his materialistic stage, bought a 318. I could not distinguish anything about the car that made it worth the price; it was a shitty little car with a useless backseat that had three significant breakdowns in a span of 24 months. It wasn’t BAD when it worked, but I couldn’t tell how it was really much better than an all-options Hyundai Elantra. It had decent pickup but nothing more impressive than my sister’s used Buick Regal. But he was convinced it made him a big man, and his driving was just appalling after he got it.
Since he got engaged and became more of a human, he’s trying to get rid of it.