I shouldn’t ask why, because I know: I worry about looking stupid in front of other people. whenever I have to do something that needs to be figured out, I start panicking, double guessing myself, and my mind locks up. I’m not stupid or incompetent, but a lot of people think I am.
The question rather is: what can I do about it?
I am not a doctor and this is not medical advice. However, this is a common question with a pretty standard place to start. You may have some degree of an anxiety disorder. Lots of people do and you are far from alone. The two main types that could fit you are Social Anxiety Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. There are treatments available including psychiatric medications and therapy. The drugs often used to treat anxiety disorders are often the same ones used to treat depression. The therapy used isn’t the “tell me about your childhood kind”. It is called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and has the best track record of almost any of the types of talk therapies especially for anxiety. It involves exercises that change your way of thinking in response to anxiety.
If this is affecting you life satisfaction, you should consult a specialist for it. A therapist that specializes in CBT is a good place to start and that person can refer you to a psychiatrist if you need that as well. You could also get a book on CBT and try some of the exercises yourself. Some people have good luck with that.
Is it pressure in general or is it specific situations?
For example…
If my car dies in traffic, I can deal with it.
I’m great with trivia, but put my in a game of trivial pursuit and I’ll forget everything.
If I witness a car accident, I’m grace under fire, I can move my car into a position to force oncoming traffic around the scene, walk through the broken glass amid the panicky bystanders, see what’s going on, shut off the car of the unconscious driver and do it all while on the phone with 911.
Hand me a microphone to do a small toast at a wedding…you’ll find me in a fetal position under the table.
Now that I look at that, I realize that I’m good at dealing with things, not so good at doing things in front of or for (as in a wedding toast) other people. I think that comes from learning that panicking rarely fixes anything and that it’s almost always better to just take a step back, compose yourself, take a deep breath, figure out what needs to be done and just do it.
Why do I choke under pressure?
I’m not sure there is a factual answer to your question, unless…
Do you play basketball for the Portland Trailblazers?
I’m sorry, I couldn’t resist.
Two things,
Concentrating on your breath can work wonders.
And like Joey P said, just focus on what needs to be done. I’d even take that a step further and focus on the ONE NEXT THING that needs to be done. Don’t look down the road at the bigger picture.
I read about a study of piano players once. They logged how long the players practiced, how many mistakes they made during practice, and how many they made during a recital in front a bunch of people.
Results:
Those that didn’t practice much made many more mistakes in the recital than they did during the practice sessions prior to the recital. Those that practiced a lot made fewer mistakes in the recital than they did in practice.
The theory goes that skilled practicioners of a particular talent thrive on the adrenaline and go for gold with a “Now watch this!” attitude. Unskilled practicioners cave under pressure because they think there’s a stong chance they’ll look like fools. The less you think you’ll look like a fool, the better you’ll do.
I can testify to the veracity of that theory. I can give briefings in front of huge groups of people because I don’t think it’s possible that I’ll look like a fool. But that time I had to carry a flag across a stage in front of a stadium full of people? Terrified. And all I had to do was walk. Sure, the task was easy, but I knew that if I screwed up walking, there’s no way I could live it down.