Everytime in real life you hear jerkballs trash talk and they end with, “Do I make myself perfectly clear?!” It’s some kind of sociopathic question where if you say yes, you submit to them, if no, it invites the jerkball to continue his rant.
So, question-es here, why do jerkballs always talk that way? Was there some kind of jerk school where they teach that?
And next, how do us non-engorged ego people respond to this hostile question?
Please answer. DO I MAKE MYSELF PERFECTLY CLEAR?
Don’t be silly, jerkballs don’t need to go to a school. It’s all in the jerkball handbook.
I wasn’t aware of this phenomenon. You could counter with “You’ve made your point” or “I understand what you’re saying”, or for added snark, “Crystal.”
I never really see jerkballs using it, only people who are in authority and genuinely pissed off with cause.
Those jerks who do are implying that if you don’t agree with their rant it’s because you don’t get it, not because it’s possible to have a different opinion than they do, or for them to be wrong.
Response: either nothing if there’s no point to even trying or saying “I get it, I just don’t agree with it.”
Seriously, jerkballs use this phrase quite a bit. If you ever work customer service, you will hear it often. You will hear it from folks with good cause to be pissed, but mostly you will hear it from jerkballs. It’s easy to sidestep, though. Just don’t respond to that part at all; only respond to the other part:
“I am not going to enter this serial number again. Do I make myself perfectly clear?!”
“You don’t have to enter the serial number if you choose not to, but then you won’t get through to the technical support agent”
The cousin to this annoying phrase is “So, let me tell you how this is going to work…”
As in, “Let me tell you how this is going to work. You WILL refund my money immediately, and you WILL put a supervisor on NOW. Do I make myself perfectly clear?!!!”
It means that they have run out of steam (for the moment) and are inviting you to make a smart-assed comment that will reinvigorate their anger.
Jerkball: “Blah, blah, blah…Do I make myself perfectly clear?!”
Target: " I was a little unclear on some of your points regarding my uselessness as a human. I’m going to need see a cite."
Jerkball: smack
Just chiming in so I can say ‘jerkball’.
I may have to use that one regularly.
Jerk: DO I MAKE MYSELF PERFECTLY CLEAR?
Me: Absolutely. It’s perfectly clear that you’re a fucking idiot.
You’ve made yourself positively transparent.
Well, he’s a jerkball. I would imagine he says it because he is prone to jerkballesque behavior.
I feel the phrase “AM I PERFECTLY CLEAR?” is sometimes applicable as a parent of young boys when the initial “Please stop this behavior OR ELSE” mantra is spoken a few times ahead of it.
In corporate-speak this becomes: “Does that make sense?”.
Sure, oh-manager-who-has-my-life-in-her-hands, I’m really going to answer that one with “No, it is patently complete gibberish, Try using a common tongue for a change”.
Oh, I love it when customers go “Let me tell you how this is going to happen” and then make demands I can’t possibly meet. I enjoy saying “No, that’s not going to happen. Here is what I can do.”
Fortunately, my company not only fully empowers me to speak on it’s behalf, but I’m actually NOT ALLOWED to give you to someone else. There is NO ONE above me that takes calls. To be sure, you can call back and speak to someone else who may give you a different answer. They’re not supposed to, but it happens all the time. But you demand I put someone else on the line? Ain’t happening. Refuse to hang up until I put someone on the line? Guess what? I am allowed to hang up on YOU! So thanks for calling, have a great day, <click>
Frankly, I wish more companies would operate that way. You can be an abusive screaming ass in a store, and they’ll give you free shit just to make you go away. Because the cops probably won’t get there before you hurt someone if you decide to get violent. But over the phone? Fuck you, you don’t have an audience and you can’t hurt me.
The whole ‘crystal clear’ thing? I usually only hear that, or have said it in the past, when someone has been told something repeatedly, is continuing to engage in stupid and/or destructive behavior, and just isn’t getting the message. You used to hear people (and parents were always good for this) “I’m telling you for the LAST TIME”. Problem with that is that it is an ultimatum, and too many people are unwilling to actually make it be the last time.
People who resort to something like that right out of the box are just assholes, plain and simple.
Because they think they have the right to tell you what to do, and want to point that out to you. Nicer people tend to not assume authority when they don’t have it, or rub your face in it when they don’t. so they are less likely to use the phrase.
You should respond with, “The Jerkball Store called and they’re out of you!”
I had a boss who ended those with a sentence that’s the Spanish equivalent but which would literally translate to “do you understand me? If you do not understand, say so now!”
After several incidents where the team’s understandings had all been in agreement, but not matched what the boss actually meant, we took to answering “we understand you, but what we can not promise is that what we understand is what you wanted us to understand.” Drove her up the wall, but sorry: if 6 people have understood the same thing, and it is not what you meant… you have, indeed, not made yourself clear!
Your combo of username and post fit perfectly. 
[QUOTE=Chimera]
The whole ‘crystal clear’ thing? I usually only hear that, or have said it in the past, when someone has been told something repeatedly, is continuing to engage in stupid and/or destructive behavior, and just isn’t getting the message. You used to hear people (and parents were always good for this) “I’m telling you for the LAST TIME”. Problem with that is that it is an ultimatum, and too many people are unwilling to actually make it be the last time.
[/QUOTE]
This is very true. Use of the OP’s dreaded phrase has a lot to do with whether the person feels listened to. If they are genuinely at the end of their tether because they have worked the process and been frustrated, it is fine. But if it is just a way to say “my way only” then yeah, jerkball city.
At least you’re getting full sentences. One person I deal with simply says CLEAR!?!? If it’s in an email it’s usually in a larger font, italics and coloured. I loathe this woman.
CLEAR?!?!?
As mud