:eek:
:dubious: Except Zombie didn’t say that idea was bigoted earlier in the thread. Only when it applies to me, I guess.
Where did I say I’d put anything above my child’s happiness?
I didn’t. I said I’d have a coronary. Imagine if an atheist biologist had a child who came home one day and said, “Sorry. Jesus is the Way and the Truth and the Life, and He is God’s son who created this world! You are damned to hell!”
–coronary. :o
And you all thought I wasn’t being productive! 
I am a happily intellectualized snob. If my son came home with a dimwit of a girlfriend, I would wince. Come on, Marley dear, don’t lie. You don’t have morons for close friends.
If you look at the nature of uh, Jewish topics on SD the last few weeks, you’ll have plenty of atheist Jews (or even traditional Jews who think some things are silly) do it for the traditions. And because they want to somehow pay a nod to the people who came before them. So when that tradition breaks, it’s natural to want to take it personally.
I think someone having a panic attack over what every single shrink in the world would characterize as “normal” says something about them.
Elitist? Maybe. Depends on the arguments behind it. “I don’t want you to marry xyz because they are not as good as we are” or “not of proper pedigree and education” could definitely be considered elitist.
There’s no elitism in having pride at your people’s rate of survival.
It isn’t wrong as in ‘not true’. If you look at trends, there’s a clear correlation between intermarriage and children of those marriages not identifying with Judaism or not practicing Jewish lives or converting or whatever. It’s just like what we kept telling furt: Children who are raised Jewish are not likely to become something else. (:
This doesn’t mean that, “Every single parent who has a non Jewish spouse just f’d the next generation.” If I really thought that, don’t you think I’d be railing on Ivory and you? Did I? Of course not.
(Also, I made a statement that you can be a Jewish Buddhist, one that Argent Towers jumped on.)
Do I consider children of non Jewish mothers and Jewish fathers to be bastards? Not Jews? If they identify and practice, what do I care? Really? What do I care?
But I also see how Orthodox balk at this one. Just because you disagree with a group’s position does not automatically invalidate their thinking behind it. I’ve already stated more than once in this thread that children of intermarriage can face some serious problems.
…
I’m just curious as to why there’s an uproar. I didn’t say I’d kick my son out. I never said I’d do anything negative towards him. I said I’d have a coronary. F yeah I would/
Zuriel is raising his kids to be Jews for a reason. There’s a want on someone’s part to continue a tradition and also to be part of a pretty great philosophical system.
Is Zuriel displaying some sort of self-loathing because he thinks his wife’s background is superior? Of course not. Of course he doesn’t think those things. But for whatever reason, *they *find value in what they are doing.
So why is it when Jews want to maintain their Jewishness it’s a matter of bigotry? Jewish identity has surely changed over the last 3,000 years since Moses, but one thing has remained constant: The desire to keep going.
If I raised my son in a Jewish lifestyle, sent him to Jewish school, paid for tutors and whatever, take him to Israel, do all of those parent-child Jewish things, see him become a bar mitzvah and then he decides to marry someone who is not Jewish, I would have a coronary.
One, that’s not likely, so he just busted the odds. (This has been proven more than once in this thread.)
Two, I’d wonder if I did something wrong.
Three, his wife and future children are going to be separated from nearly half of the Jewish community unless she converts (and that’s not even going to cover everyone’s content :rolleyes:). Our rabbi wouldn’t perform the marriage ceremony if she doesn’t. The children would be restricted to one of the three Jewish schools in town if the parents even wanted to send them at that point, which is unlikely, because a man who marries a non Jewish woman probably isn’t thinking his children need a Jewish education. They’d feel ostracized as they grew up and would less likely want to pass my son and mine’s quirky little things on to the next generation.
Four, the hypothetical decision my son comes to is not without pain. Pain for everyone involved, no matter how firm he is in his decision.
Of course I want him to marry a Jewish woman. That’s 100 per cent natural and valid. Do you know what happened when one of my not so distant relatives decided to marry a non-Jewish man? Yeah. I was very sad (and still am sometimes) that not only did I miss out on a lot, but I almost missed out on what I have now. I don’t want a world without the things I have now because I find value in it. Right now, my son does as well. I’m hoping my grandchildren will follow.
I got all choked up when my son sang the Four Questions and I’m pretty sure I’ll be waterworks when my grandchildren do it. Same goes for all Jewish holidays, bar mitvazhs, and whatever else we do that makes us just a shade different.
There’s nothing bigoted in that. If you really think so, well, I’m wondering if there’s not some underlying cause for your outrage. :dubious:
eta: as a parent, I am allowed to have a say in my child’s dating preferences. when he’s of age and wants to be independent, all right. but i’m still allowed --no, expected-- to have feelings. if i were that removed from my child, i’d just be an uncaring parent.
I have the right to impose my beliefs on my son until he’s out of the house. But it doesn’t mean I can’t be disappointed.