CatInHat - As Ike said, it’s The World Is A Very Big Place. A recognition that on the Internet people can be posting from all over the world and the assumption that the person you are talking to has the same background/customs/frame of reference/etc that you do is often wrong.
When my ex and I were going out, we couldn’t wait for my parents to go on vacation so he could sleep in my bed. Another time, my ex before that and I fell asleep together in the afternoon, by chance. Having the sun streaming through the blinds and him nice and warm (and clothed; stop that) beside me… best damn nap I ever had.
Yeah, well, sleeping together is nice – especially to snuggle when it’s cold…but some of us need a bigger bed (at least queen size); I have a double, and it’s not good enough. Boyfriend thrashes around in his sleep and steals the covers, puts his elbow in my back, crowds me to the edge of the bed.
I have gotten up and gone to the couch in order to get some undisturbed sleep. Thank God he’s working the midnight shift now – I’m getting some rest!
Along the same lines…
I can’t figure out for the life of me why people (in the US at least) are so gung ho on getting babies to sleep by themselves. I realize that parents usually use beds for sex also, but it just seems so weird.
I don’t sleep alone, don’t like to. (For that matter, I don’t sleep through the night either!) Yet it seems that I’m constantly judged on whether or not I can get my little peanut to sleep in her crib, alone, all night long.
How sad is that? The image of a sweet little baby, huddled in the corner of her crib, with nothing to cuddle except the cold wooden slats.
Ah, she’ll be up and in my bed before long anyway. 
When I was a kid, I was amazed to see that my great-grandparents, who moved to the States from eastern Europe in the early part of this century, slept in separate beds.
And, to answer Sue Duhnym, do I recall correctly reading about a study that infants sleeping in bed with their parent(s) cuts down significantly the risk of SIDS? Sounds like a good enough reason to me…
Ike, use duct tape and the hamster won’t explode.
The reasons people don’t sleep in the same bed:
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Partner’s sleep habits make sleep impossible.
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No longer like one’s partner, but not willing to break up the marriage for whatever reason (cultural pressure and for the sake of the children being the top reasons).
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Birth control.
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Too hot.
Reasons why people do sleep together: -
Sex.
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They like each other.
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They’re mammals, and it feels good. Ever see pups or kits in a litter sleep all over each other? It’s instinctual to cuddle up to a warm heart-beating body while sleeping.
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It’s cold.
Considering the emphasis on pleasure, sex, air conditioning, and birth control in the U.S., it is clear why most couples sleep together.
Peace.
Well, my honey and I don’t. We each have our own bedroom, and we like it that way.
I used to have a twin bed and my feet were sticking out, as a teenager. Now, with a queen size bed, at least the bed is long enough. If blankets are a problem, you can get the German/European style thing, “dyne”, which are …sort of individual blankets in a weird sheet.
BABAR!!! That was the stupidest post I have ever read!
Everyone knows there is no stretch to duct tape, you bonehead! Thats why you have to use an Ace bandage!
(rolls eyes)
SueDuhnym: I was all anal about the bed thing with my first, and as he only nursed for 3 months, I kept him in his own bed…he hates me most of the time now. But the younger one, (the tit-monster we used to call him) nursed for 13 months, and slept in my bed all the time. He had a crib, we kept toys in it. He always slept in my bed, with me…he preferred the middle, between shitboy and me, and he would spread out his arms and legs, (picture a starfish!) so he had limbs on each of us. It was very sweet.
When I went back to work, I was on the night shift, and I didnt worry about the baby, cause if he needed daddy, and daddy didnt wake right up, he would crack daddy one in the nose. When I got home, baby was still in bed, and I would hold him tight and go to sleep. When he woke, shitboy would come get him. At nap time, baby was back…cuddles galore! He slept really good, better than most kids.
Now almost 2 years ago, as I became single and prepared to whore around ;)…I started to put him in a junior bed at the foor of my bed (when I 'entertained, which was rare, he was out on the couch, or we were out on the couch)Now my angel has his own big boy bed, and goes to bed 9 times out of 10 with nary a peep. He still makes the trip to my bed in the wee hours a few times a week, but less all the time.
The best thing I ever did was let him sleep with me. He adores me.
tanstaafl:
Well, you expect that kind of thing from someone with a screen name of tanstaafl.
Designated Optional Signature at Bottom of Post
Tanstaafl asked if any other countries/cultures normally did not sleep in the same bed together (or words to that effect). I hope I can shed some light-
During the few months that I lived in Japan, it seemed to me that very few married couples with children slept together in the same bed, owing to the fact that mothers tended to have their children sleep in the same bed with them, and with space at a premium, something had to go, and that something was usually the husband.
For some reason, Americans are very skittish about having children (even babies) sleep in the same bed with them. I’m a Christian, and I can tell you confidently that most Christian leaders warn against the evils of this practice, but cannot offer a good reason when pressed. Of course, I wouldn’t want a baby in a bed with me (if I had one, natch) for fear that I might roll over and crush the little bastard; heaven knows I’ve almost killed Ozzie the Morally Deficient Cat in this way.
A few more thoughts—
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My grandparents, both nth-generation Americans, slept in separate beds, but that was because they hated each other.
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Given the choice, I would sleep in my own bed, since I thrash about an awful lot, but my wife tolerates it and prefers having me in the bed, even if that means an occasional knee or elbow in the back. Go figure.
If I slept in a bed of my own, my wife would have to get up and come over to kick me in the ribs when I snore. That’d be most inconvenient for her.
I sleep with them & it’s nice but I get a lot
better sleep when I sleep alone. Plus, kinda of nice, my own room, my own bed, tv, vcr & the kids in the other room with their mother.
Peace at last!
Cecil once mentioned babies sleeping in the same bed with adults.
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/961122.html
He didn’t really address issue, but Slug’s cartoon is amusing.
AHunter3 - tanstaafl = There Ain’t No Such Thing As A Free Lunch.
“You can’t run away forever; but there’s nothing wrong with getting a good head start.” — Jim Steinman
Dennis Matheson — Dennis@mountaindiver.com
Hike, Dive, Ski, Climb — www.mountaindiver.com
Other factors are space and, believe it or not, decor. Back in the days when men were Men and women were Women, a man wanted a masculine bedroom and a woman wanted a feminine one. You only slept together if you couldn’t afford two bedrooms.
(I’m not joking – check out any historic mansion.)
John W. Kennedy
“Compact is becoming contract; man only earns and pays.”
– Charles Williams
Ah, thank you, tanstaafl…I thought you were a play on “rijsttafel,” Dutch for “rice table”…a version of the Indonesian meal of hot rice served with an array of small, highly seasoned accompanying dishes.
Well, no, I didn’t really.
Uke
When I was in Isreal I was amused by the fact that most of the hotels we stayed in had two twin beds next to each other, where in the U.S. there would have been one double or queen-sized bed. This was greatly appreciated by my companions and I as we had little desire to share a bed and so moved the beds slightly apart.(This was a trip through my college, so we did not know each other before the trip). I realized later that it was at least partially a religous thing, as very religious Jews may not sleep in the same bed, at least during a portion of them month. (not being Jewish, I don’t recall the details, but it is related to the woman being unclean during her period).
Eureka (formerly known as Archimedes)
“…as very religious Jews may not sleep in the same bed, at least during a portion of them month. (not being Jewish, I don’t recall the details, but it is related to the woman being unclean during her period).”
Any of the Teeming Millions who are interested in the intricacies of “family purity” in the Jewish tradition should run a Deja.Com search of the alt.fan.cecil-adams archives. A high point of this discussion was when an Orthodox Jewish Lesbian explained how she and her partner interpreted the rule.
Best regards from Deborah
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ALRIGHT!!! Im glad this question came up… first off I did not know that it wasnt customery in some countries to sleep in the same bed. I am not married but I live with a woman of some time and we DO NOT sleep together because she is a light sleeper and I breath loud and thrash. I HAVE FELT VERY WIERD ABOUT THIS and wondered if other people would think this weird (actually it HAS caused me great wondering and some strife in our relationship) so are you people telling me this is normal and NOT maybe signifiying a problem? please… I gotta know…
The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized it either. So what I’m left with is the memory of having learned
something very wise that I can’t quite remember. -George Carlin