(Sorry, Dale… guess I shoulda added a :D, huh?)
>> I am watching 20/20 and they just said that every 6 minutes a woman gets raped.
Some quick calculations show this represents roughly a risk of 1 in 1000 per year or one in 20 or 25 over a lifetime. While we would all like to live in a crime free society the fact is crime is there and I do not think rape statistics are awfully worse than many other violent and non violent crimes.
The USA has a large population and anything which affects even a small percentage is going to result in large absolute numbers. David Letterman once did a joke based on the estimate of how many people around the world are having sex at any given moment and the number was staggering. But the population of the world is also staggering.
You can play with numbers and make things look as bad as you like. Every minute a child dies in the third world due to hunger, unsanitary water or easily curable diseases. Death is much worse than rape. What are we doing about it? Apparently not enough.
>>It is also estimated that 84% of rapes are not reported to the police.
“Estimated” here clearly means “made up”. 84% of rapes are not reported? I find that impossible to believe. It would imply something like 1/3 of women would be raped over their lifetimes. Look around you and tell me if that is the proportion. That statistic was made up, err, I mean estimated, by someone with an agenda.
But let us admit too many rapes are happening. What can we do about it? Most rapes are not by strangers but by acquaintances (date rape etc). Clearly the most effective way to prevent these rapes is for women to be prudent and not put themselves in a risky situation. You have a right not to be raped just as I have a right to walk dark streets at night with a million in cash in my pocket and not be robbed. But it would still be pretty stupid of me to do it. The most effective way for a woman to diminish her chances of being raped are to exercise sound judgment and be prudent in her actions.
Given the context of violent crime in the USA rape statistics are not particularly awful. People get killed, mugged, assaulted, shot, stabbed, beaten, burglarized every minute of the day. And many babies are dying in Africa. I am sorry I do not have a solution for all these problems.
>> “Why do men hate women so much?”
This is patently false and an utterly stupid thing to say.
Lola,
Staggering statistics, eh?
My experience working in shelters has changed my perspective on victims of sexual assault and the men who assault them - more often than not it is someone that they know: a boyfriend, a spouse, a friend, an acquaintance… Random rapes by strangers are far rarer than we often think.
There’s also an odd stigma attached to the notion of spousal rape, but there you have it - everything goes back to consent, and the misuse of power.
Often, in the case of spousal rape, there is a history of physical and emotional violence.
Current stats here, in Canada, are that about 1 woman in 5 will have experienced unwanted sexual attention. The scale is large, but can be nonetheless traumatic for anyone.
As for reasons, your guess is as good as mine. In my experience, reasons range from “God made me do it”, to “because it’s my right!”… I’m all for the theory of power-play for sexual jollies. Many of these men are under the impression that their victim actually * wanted * what happened. They often have no notion of guilt.
I will hunt down the cite the minute I’m out of boxes, but I remember reading (I do intervention work, so hey, it’s part of the deal) an article in a journal once which stated that *rape fantasy * was fairly common in the average male. I guess some act on it, while the majority doesn’t.
It just makes you shudder to think about all this, doesn’t it?
What a cold, dark world we live in, sometimes.
E.
** Sailor ** I think you’ve missed the boat on certain points.
You’re comparing apples and oranges - the child dying of hunger in Africa is just as worthy of our compassion and action as the woman who has just been raped. For some, however, it is worse than a death sentence. The rate of suicide attempts and deep depression (requiring hospitalization for years, sometimes) in rape victims is staggering.
Rape statistics are high, and this must change. Education may be the key - since a great number of rapes DO go unreported. Women are afraid, ashamed, and downright terrified of encountering a cop, for example, at the station, who would say something along the lines of “Well, I’m sorry dear… but in the great scheme of things, this isn’t all that bad… you could be dyin’ of hunger in Africa… Just an unfortunate statistic… Oh, and next time, don’t wear that short skirt…”
Sorry, buddy, but I think you’re way out of line.
Statistics are tricky, it is true. But at this point, I’d like to put forward the notion that even ONE rape is one too many. Yes, the statistics are high - but in my experience dealing with crisis centres in universities, you’d be appalled at the number of young women who call in every day. It makes you rethink the “silliness” of the stats being 1 in 5 (here in Canada). Women are afraid to speak up - those who do are very few. You then have to wonder about all those who are keeping silent and who, every night, for years on end, put up with the violence and lose all hope.
E.
Of course one rape is one rape too many. One murder is also one murder too many. One crime is always one crime too many. So what do you propose? Society cannot put a bodyguard behind each one of us and I wouldn’t want it even if it could be done. So what do you propose?
Some statistics about rape for the year 2000 from the Bureau of Justice Statistics:
Out of every 1,000 people, 0.6 rapes are committed. This does not include statutory rape
11% of rape victims are male.
30% of rapes are committed when the assailant is under the influence of alcohol (4% under the influence of other drugs)
70% of rape victims knew the assailant beforehand
17% or rapes are committed by an intimate partner or spouse
6% or rapes involve the use of a weapon such as a gun or knife
80% of rapes involve the use of physical force. 10% involve purely psychological coercion. 10% of victims are unsure of the type of force used.
Rape rates have fallen 50% since 1993.
Hmmm, I wonder if this includes an estimate of the unreported cases.
For women who are raped during a date, well I don’t think that all men can be held %100 responsible…c’mon ladies, we spend hours looking absolutely gorgeous, then we go out and tease him for another 3-4 hours, then we invite them in and make-out for another hour or two…then we look up with a sweet little smile and tell them to leave…No wonder some men become violent…I don’t think it is right for anyone to be raped…“no” means “no”. Remember we are dealing with some pretty messed up men, and they can get past the point of no return. We wouldn’t go into a dark alley alone at night, so I think it is time for all women everywhere to be more concience of their behaviour…That great guy from the gym, car pool, office, etc…May not turn out to be all that great.
So, it’s a tragedy, its horrific, and it’s criminal when it happens to women, but when women do it to men it’s “funny” ?
B]For women who are raped during a date, well I don’t think that all men can be held %100 responsible…c’mon ladies, we spend hours looking absolutely gorgeous, then we go out and tease him for another 3-4 hours, then we invite them in and make-out for another hour or two…then we look up with a sweet little smile and tell them to leave…No wonder some men become violent… I don’t think it is right for anyone to be raped…“no” means “no”. Remember we are dealing with some pretty messed up men, and they can get past the point of no return. We wouldn’t go into a dark alley alone at night, so I think it is time for all women everywhere to be more concience of their behaviour…That great guy from the gym, car pool, office, etc…May not turn out to be all that great**
Upon first reading this post, it scared the beegeesus outta me. But I am sure it was not meant to offend. I understand what is being attempted to be said, but I cannot believe the attitude of “We are all teasers, so it should be expected” still exists. That is ridiculous.
(pause while she tries to think of something constructive to say)
There is absolutely no excuse, justification, validation or logic that says (wo)men can engage in prolonged violence–or that there should be any empathy or understanding for those who do.
Why do women tease? I will refrain from blasting you on this. But what makes anyone think that they are entitled to sex? People are not allowed to be sexy if they are not going to engage in sex? WTH
I agree. Dressing provocatively and being a “tease” should by no means justify rape.
I work for a Sheriff’s office, so I feel I can speak with some knowledge here.
Out of the myriad of “rape” cases that were worked last year, only a few were actual rape.
Most were cases of young girls who snuck out of their homes to meet with there boyfriends, were then caught, and told their parents it was “rape”.
The rest were wives/girlfriends that cheated on their husbands/SO and (to save face) said they were “raped”.
I don’t have actual statistics in front of me, nor would I have the time to compile them, but I would be willing to bet that only 1 in 15-20 was an actual case of rape.
However, because they are investigated (and treated at hospitals) as rapes, then only found out later to be false, they are counted in statistics.
[sub]NOT to make light of these crimes in any way…The person that dared rape someone I cared about…Well, nevermind.[/sub]
CMC, what barannca said, while I agree it is very poorly phrased and expressed, does contain a grain of truth. Nobody is denying the right of a woman to do anything but the world is as it is and not as we wish it were and actions often have consequences. Nobody denies my right to leave a million dollars on a bench in the park and nobody should touch them. But would you recommend that I do it? The fact is that I have to pay for a safe if I want to have a reasonable expectation of keeping my money. It is not the way it should be but that’s the way it is.
A woman who goes on a date and gets drunk and/or allows her date to get drunk and they both end up drunk in one of their places is playing with fire. If you do not want to get burnt you should not play with fire and if you want to play with fire you have to consider the possibility of getting burnt.
We hate them because they’re terrible with statistics and over-generalizations.
Right. Women compiled the statistics. :rolleyes:
Lemme rephrase that to "Why does a man hate a woman so much every six minutes?"
It’s a male thing. You wouldn’t understand it.
That’s a broad category. If somebody says “nice butt”, and you think they’re creepy, it’s unwanted sexual attention, but it’s certainly not rape.
Actually, that was 1 in 3 over their lifetimes was the federal (either FBI or DOJ, I’m having trouble finding my cites right now) statistic a few years ago. Not sure what their agenda is.
And based on people I know (which may or may not be an accurate cross section of the population) that does not seem to be too farfetched. I had one acquaintance in college who swore that she had never met anyone who was raped or assaulted - I knew very many of our mutual friends had been, they just weren’t telling her about the incidents.
>> I’m having trouble finding my cites right now
It is up to you to support those inflated numbers. In the meanwhile the numbers we have seem more realistic to me.
Rape has been discussed on this board before and those statistics showing highly inflated numbers have been debunked. IIRC some statistics prepared by feminist groups defined rape so broadly that the numbers were meaningless.
I have investigated many rapes, and have taken numerous classes on the topic. The amount of myth and misunderstanding on the topic is staggering.
Most rapes are committed by someone the woman knows. This includes date rapes and spousal rapes. Stranger rapes are fairly rare.
Dressing provocatively and teasing may be a factor in date rape situations, but the greater risk is putting oneself into a situation where the man has the opportunity to act on his desires. Exposing yourself to the risk in no way excuses the rape, but one must be careful.
Dressing provocatively has almost nothing to do with stranger rapes. The suspects in these cases are usually serial rapists, and their drive is almost entirely power, not sexual desire. Their victims are more likely to be the elderly than a sexy young woman . . . they are looking for someone they can overpower and control, not someone who is sexy and might fight back.
Silentgoldfish posted earlier that he didn’t think he could “get it up” if raping a woman. This is actually pretty astute. It is very common in stranger rapes for the suspect to have some type of sexual dysfunction (lack of erection, premature ejaculation, etc). The problem with this is that the suspect often gets angry when this happens and takes it out on the victim (either through a beating or use of an object to achieve his goal).
And before someone says we are being sexist to refer to rapists as men, that’s just the way it is. Women do commit rapes but it is very rare. These are most often while assisting a man in a rape (in an obviously twisted relationship) or in a gang-rape situation (where a group of females are usually punishing another female for something). I know of only one documented female-on-female stranger rape.
I have a theory that rape is a genetic left-over from our more primative days. I believe this explains the male drive towards the act and why some type of forced-sex is the most common fantasy for both genders (at least in a couple of studies I’ve read).