“As long as we’re asking questions: Why do so many rapes go unreported? I know that if I was taken advantage of, I would head to the police station a-friggin-sap.”
I’m going to get flamed for this, and probably my other thoughts on the subject, but here it is anyway. I am a male, and in my younger days had many female friends. Several had been raped, in a variety of circumstances. What I found in at least 3 cases, the woman didn’t report it out of guilt and confusion. Why? because she got aroused and/or orgasmed, even though she was scared to death, in pain, humiliated, etc… Could it have been rape if she came? Many find it easier to deal with it themselves rather than deal with the justice system.
As for those statistics, I’m reminded of the feminist group that put out stats saying that over 1/3 of college women are sexually assaulted. Of course, when actually asked if they HAVE been assaulted, less than 1 in 10 said yes, and even then the threshhold was far less than rape or near rape. Many of these studies are agenda driven rather than by a search for real answers or statistics. Beware.
Now, to the main question, Why men rape…
In a date rape situation, it may be miscommunication or confusion of signals. When you are young and trying to understand females, it is difficult to get the signals straight. Some women say “no, no, no, please dont”, all while putting her hand down your pants and humping your knee, then pulling you on top of her while pleading for mercy. It happens. Then next time you are with a girl, she says no and actually means it, but you think it means it’s the “ravish me, i’m just a poor helpless girl at your mercy” game. Thats not an excuse by any means, but just something to think about.
To the person who posted that he couldnt get it up in that situation: I would have agreed with you, exept twice in my life women have asked me to help them act out their rape fantasies. It was hard, trying to figure out just how to do it, how to give them that scare and powerlessness they wanted without really hurting them, and most importantly how to make sure she didn’t view it as a REAL rape, and me end up in prison. The first girl that asked me (man, was college great or what!?) we talked about it, got specific, and i told her that if that was what she wanted, then it would be like in the Pink Panther movies, where Cato attacks when its least expected (or wanted). I promised that I wouldn’t do anything that would “really” hurt but if this is what she wanted, then she had to agree that I wouldn’t take no as no. She agreed. When I suprised her with it and was rough, forceful, crude, and did whatever I wanted to her without consideration of her wants and needs, I found that it was an ENORMOUS rush. I can see how someone would want to do it again (she liked it too, btw…). The point is, when you discover what power lies within you in being able to ravish a woman for solely your own wants and needs without a concern for her, she being a receptacle for your pleasure, it is exciting. I know that when the other girl asked me to help her live out the fantasy, I enthusiastically said yes. For me, I know the difference between play and reality. But some guy that discovers power from the girl that likes to pretend to say no while he pins her arms down, and assumes that all girls want it from him, might not. Just another opinion.
One last thing. Nature doesn’t care about your feelings. Nature doesnt care if you are shamed, degraded, disgusted, or whatever at having been victimized. All nature cares about is that a woman produces strong, healthy babies and raises them to a viable age. There is no “wrong” in nature. If you are a strong, agressive male with the means to force yourself upon a female, and the result is that she has your baby rather than some guy that plies her with flowers and songs, but couldnt kill a moose to save his life, then the world may be better off for it. The female anatomy was not designed to protect itself from unwanted sex. You can clamp your legs together as tight as you want, but whether on your back with your knees pushed up or bent over, your vagina is still easily accessible. Go have a look in the mirror (and take pics and email them to…nevermind, got sidetracked…). Forceful sex is known to be an ovulation trigger, I have read. If so, then there may be an evolutionary advantage to forcing yourself on a woman.
In the game of nature and evolution, the man that mates with the most females wins. His genes get passed along. Nice guys finish last.
Perhaps the best question is “why do men NOT rape?” Socialization is the answer. We don’t because we are shunned, incarcerated, or because our religon tells us we are sinning if we do. Any man with testosterone surging through his veins would be lying if he said he had never looked at a nubile young woman and thought, “man, i’d just love to bend her over and have my way with her, whether she wanted it or not”. As another girl I was good friends with in college said when we were talking about male/female relations; “men are just walking penises, and women are walking receptacles for them”.