In the US, most people (especially older people) aren’t exposed to those kinds of mass audience dancing experiences. And if they are, are content to hop up and down in an effort not to physically touch a stranger (only the tiny percent of the audience in the mosh are permitted that freedom). Most of the dance opportunities we encounter are at things like weddings where the dance floor is surrounded by familiar people whose opinions actually mean something to you. That’s a very intimidating experience for someone who isn’t confident in their dancing abilities.
Why do more men like expressing their opinions on the internet than women do?
Myself, it isn’t that I fear that I would look funny, or it isn’t masculine, it is that I completely lack the urge to move in rhythmic ways timed to sounds. Ever watch a crab walking sideways and stuff tiny bits of rotting fish into its mouth? Do you avoid walking sideways and stuffing tiny bits of rotting fish in your mouth because you are afraid of looking funny, or because you have a complete absence of that instinct? When I see people dancing I might as well be looking at that crab. It is like those autistic people who lack the innate ability to recognize emotions from facial expressions and have to study hard to fake it.
That’s a good description of how I feel. And over time I’ve become very resentful of the dozens and dozens of people at weddings, etc., urging me quite forcefully to “dance.” As my third-grade music teacher would tell you (if he is still alive), I completely lack the ability to even hear the beat of music. I don’t think he ever saw a kid who just couldn’t clap to the beat of the music (even when the rest of the class was doing it). I’m quite willing to look like a fool in other areas (you should see me try to bowl) but moving to music just isn’t a thing for me. Especially music that’s irritating and repetitive like EDM.
My late father was a highly adequate dancer who clearly enjoyed himself, and would dance with anyone. I never understood why his ‘brothers’ did not - because once he hit the floor with a new-met wallflower, he rarely got to sit down again while the ladies waited their turn or dared to cut-in. He was a self-professed “dirty old GENTLEman” - make of that what you will in this modern era.
Because men have no problem with sounding stupid; it’s looking stupid that scares the shit out of us.
Ditto, although I am female. I even started a thread here about 19 years ago, asking how to throw a wedding with no dancing. In the end, I caved in and had a conventional wedding, although I walked off the floor halfway through the traditional first dance with my husband because it was just unbearable.
I think dancing styles were more “structured” then. It was easy for men to know their roles and know what to do.
Later, dancing became more “freestyle” with dancers making it up as they go along. I guess this is related to the “men want to be in control” thing mentioned upthread.
I know that I, as a straight man, dont like the freestyle dancing that happens in your average club. The dancing I have enjoyed was doing the two-step in Austin, TX music clubs.
I like the ritual of the man asking a woman if she’d like to dance. I like that even though I’m no good at it, I can lead a woman through a fun 3 or 4 minutes and chat with her about this or that.
To sum up, as a man, I’m more comfortable leading a woman in somewhat proscribed dance moves than being seen improvising random body movements.
I’m from a Southern Baptist area—a wedding without dancing is a conventional wedding here, or at least it was in the years that I was attending weddings. None that I ever attended had dancing at the reception.
Totally anecdotal contribution, FWIW; I am male and German:
When ‘dancing’ became a thing in my age cohort, it was disco. We were at an age where both genders were of course severely self-conscious, but with regards to dancing the girls were much less inhibited. When a lot of boys stayed seated it was common for girls pair up to dance together. That was considered totally normal, but on the other hand boys pairing up would definitely have been considered gay (there were no out of the closet gay people at the time) and a huge scandal.
So there’s a data point for a glut of women wanting to dance.
Personally I hated, hated, hated disco dancing because I was very self-conscious and could not move spontaneously in any way (I was and still are very self-controlled and do everything deliberately). The few times where I was shamed or womanhandled to the dance floor were pretty traumatic.
My take: the problem was mandatory spontaneity, which I just cannot deliver.
Decades later my wife and I took up ballroom dancing lessons. Now it’s me who is cajoling her to go twice a week rather than once (we are in a school with a very flexible course model), and who drags her on to the dance floor. I have discovered that I love, love, love ballroom dancing (even if I still are moderately bad at it, and cut an inelegant figure).
My take is that with dances like waltz, salsa, discofox etc. I do not need to improvise anew avery beat (as was the case in disco), but can strive to improve a range of finite moves.
Me too! But I sure didn’t invite THOSE people. 
By the end of the disco era I knew it was not my jam, it was the music I couldn’t dance to it at all. Even after practicing the Hustle with friends at home it was hopeless.
Once was at a disco bar with friends, one guy was a short heavyset dude, prematurely bald to boot who wanted to dance with me. We were somewhere on the Jersey shore, and the bar was packed. When after a few turns under the disco ball I realized my dance partner was a dark horse on the dance floor. That man could move his body, I had to retreat and passed him off to another gal who could match his moves. Fun to watch!
Although I enjoy EDM it is fair to say it is less popular than it once was. Many of the storied clubs and popular festivals are closed or endangered. Sadly, it is difficult to dance at many of the drinking establishments that have replaced them, which are often much smaller places with different music. Obviously these changes will be bigger in some places than in others.
I think it’s the same reason women are more interested in art, fashion, interior decoration etc. Dance is a ‘competing to look attractive’ thing, and that appeals to women much more than men. In other (sub)cultures it may be seen differently (moshing is certainly not about aesthetics) so this doesn’t apply, and/or there are less strict gender roles in this area, similar to how it’s normal for men to wear jewellery (eg gold chains) in many cultures, even though it’s still more common for women to sport lots of bling.
Maybe it is for some people. It most certainly isn’t for everybody.
I can’t even react to the music if I’m thinking about what I look like.
But then, I’m also entirely uninterested in either fashion or interior decoration. Maybe people of whatever gender who are interested in those things tend to be more interested in looks?
Not for me. It’s a ‘becoming one with the music’ thing. I am a woman, and I’m interested in aesthetics but not while I’m dancing. I don’t wear jewelry and don’t give the fuck of a rat for fashion.
I think you don’t ‘get’ dancing. That’s what I think.
The number of men dancing at establishments/events where dancing is the major draw seems like a terrible way to judge how many men enjoy dancing given the self-selecting sample. Feels better to use even something as basic as a wedding where you’re expected to be there anyway and, while dancing is a thing that happens, you didn’t decide “I guess I’ll go to cousin Jim’s wedding because I like dancing and can’t find an EDM rave.”
In my lifelong experience and opinion, if you have a bunch of people at a place where dancing is available and yet is not the primary reason why they are there, women are much more likely to be dancing or want to dance and will choose to dance alone or with one another if the men don’t want to join them. Weddings, parties, bars, music festivals, etc. From which I derive that men are less likely to find it fun or want to be doing it. Not every single man ever but, on balance, women are more into it than men. Allowing for geographical considerations and all that; it’s a US-based board with a predominately US-based population and almost entirely Westernized world based user base after all.
I get two things out of dancing: becoming one with the music, and interacting with other dancers. When we all with in sync, together, it’s just so awesome. “All” can be me and my partner for partner dances, or my square of 8 for a square dance. Or “me and the people nearby” in a contra dance.
What if it just comes to taste and experience?
I know damned well how to dance, and move any extremity or limb with pretty precise control.
But if one despises the music, the noise level, the balance, and down to the EQ settings, one isn’t going to do it!
One might even say it is offensive to the core. As in the music is intolerable, and the drama about the floor is inflammatory, distracting, and unacceptable.
Hard definite firm negatory. I’d rather spend a hundred bucks just getting that “music” off the jukebox so I can play pool or chat with people or watch a football game. Without listening to that crap. IMHO. If there were a “silence” track on the jukebox, it’s worth a Benjamin just for an hour just so I can chat with some pals and shoot some pool without having some random “twirler” ramming into me at random.
I suspect there is a gendered component, but it’s almost certainly a cultural element. At any rate, I wouldn’t have the data to begin to analyze that. Purely anecdotal.
This is a thing of current culture and time. At various other times, men were the peacocks in Western society.