Do you hate all music? Different forms of dance are set to very different styles of music.
I can neither remember nor find the source for this exchange, so it’s a distinct possibility that I made it up:
MAN: We dance with women so they’ll [sleep with] us.
WOMAN: And we [sleep with] men so they’ll dance with us!
Rather than answer the question posed by the OP, it may simply add emphasis to the fundamental point 
Plus the sample for dance clubs isn’t necessarily even self-selecting. I’ve been to precious few dance clubs, but from what I hear, other than a few famous elite establishments, very few of them have an intense filter for who can get in, but mainly want to make sure there aren’t too many men versus women. So if that’s true, then these packs of men who don’t get in might want to just drink and socialize, or they might also want to dance, so both of those might skew the numbers versus men who come in with women, who might enjoy dancing, but might also just go there because the women wants to.
Speaking of which, my experience at weddings is that the women were trying to get everyone to dance. So to the extent that this cajoling was “pressure”,. the women were putting pressure on the women as well as the men, but moreso on the men since there were already more women dancing. It wasn’t the men who were shouting at everyone to get on the dance floor. (Not even the DJ, except perhaps for line dances, but there were only 1 or 2 line dances at the weddings.)
Why don’t [insert fundamentalist religious sect here] allow premarital sex?
Could lead to dancing.
My club going days are long behind me, but I recall tons of guys on the dance floor.
So are you intending what you’re saying to apply only to that specific culture?
In which case, you’re agreeing with those of us who say there is such a difference in many social groups of this particular culture at this particular time, but not such a difference essentially between genders. I’d also say that it doesn’t even apply to all social groups within this culture.
I get that reaction as part of a square or contra dance; and also get the “becoming one with the music” out of both that sort of dance, and out of dancing alone or in a group doing the sort of dancing that doesn’t include specified group patterns.
In neither case does any part of it have anything to do with either what I look like, or what the other dancers look like; though I do enjoy watching people who are extremely good dancers. That also has nothing to do with whether I think they’re good-looking; I’m enjoying watching the skill, and the variety of things that can be done with the human body.
That looks to me like the reverse side of the “becoming one with the music” factor. If the music’s something you really don’t want to become one with – then that certainly ain’t gonna work.
This is also true.
That “joke” only works if women don’t want to have sex because they enjoy having sex. Which is nonsense.
Maybe more American men would go dance if it were like Masai adumu dancing or Central Asian zikir.
Right.
Just as it relies on the hyperbolic exaggeration of the similarly questionable stereotype of men who – even at gunpoint – won’t accede to their partners’ wishes to take dance lessons together.
Thus, the joke.
Yeah, maybe it’s selection bias, but I’ve never noticed a man urging anyone to dance who didn’t want to. I have seen women do that at every wedding I’ve attended.
That’s true.
But I find any kind of music designed for dancing has very little rhythmic variation.
A kind of torture for the ears and senses. A punishment.
Compare the notional “dance suites” of Bach to the actual dance forms of, say, a gavotte or whatever. I know which I’d listen to and which I’d eschew…
So, yeah. Pretty much all explicit dance music is despicable.
One could dance to any kind of music, I suppose — some driving even-eights rock and roll, or some kind of a shuffle rhythm. Various forms of swing music.
But I haven’t found that’s what one typically plays when one wishes to dance. At a club or a bar.
Usually it’s some persistent, lame quantized rhythm (or a drummer playing to a click, which really amounts to about the same), some shrieking vocalist, and various other assorted hideous annoyances buried in the mix.
Yep! It truly is not a recipe for success!
If one enjoyed the music (just restricting here to typical club/bar type “dance” “music”) then there’d be no problem.
And by “enjoy” I mean one could spend hours listening to it with headphones or through some monitors at home.
Don’t see that happening, even among ardent dancers who tolerate the music.
I’m saying that that’s what the OP was most likely referring to so answers relating to that are more relatable to the topic than answers about other places/people. Unless someone is just using it to circle around to the topic rather than a reason to just reject the premise.
This survey suggests that men are, on average, less interested in dancing.
Do you like dancing?
Like it a lot (M/F): 17/38%
Like it a little: 36/41%
Dislike it a little: 16/10%
Dislike it a lot: 21/4%
Dancing/Party Behavior
Start the dance (M/F): 8/11%
Will dance once others are: 24/41%
Need to be dragged onto the dance floor: 29/19%
Flatly refuse to dance: 34/21%
Men tend to be more critical of their dancing skills than women. 20% of women think that they are ‘great’ or ‘good’ dancers, compared to 13% of men. 47% of men think that they are ‘bad’ or ‘terrible’ dancers, compared to 20% and 12%, respectively, for women.
People who view themselves as good dancers, unsurprisingly, are much more interested in dancing. Since fewer men see themselves as good+ dancers, it should come as no shock that they’re not looking for opportunities to prove it.
Poll is from a random sampling of US adults, age 18+
What kind of music do you imagine we listen to (leaving aside the ‘tolerate’ silliness)? The music I enjoy in clubs very much forms part of my home playlists. Not exclusively, but sufficiently so that I’ve definitely spent many hours continuously listening to just tracks I’ve also danced to. I’m listening to one such playlist right now, in fact - Batcave Classics.
I chaperoned a high school dance in the last year (high school is suburban, affluent and 95% white) the ratio of girls to boys on the dance floor was more than 3:1. However, the number of girls AT the dance was probably 2:1 in the first place. Because there were lots of girls who came without dates, but very few boys.
In the social dance classes for teens offered by our town recreation (Ballroom, Latin and Swing) there are almost no boys signing up.
I hadn’t any idea.
But that does clarify things — the “dance scene,” if you like — and am grateful for the insight.
No, I really hadn’t any idea what “the dancers” listened to in their off hours.
Makes sense, though.
Thank you for something new to consider.
That’s what I was trying to get at by saying gender roles differ in different cultures. There certainly were times when men were peacocks (what a pity we have to live in the era of deliberately drab utilitarian men’s clothing!), though I can’t think of any when men were more concerned with appearance than women. AFAIK even in Islamic countries where women are forced to wear veils, they mostly still dress up nicely and groom themselves underneath. I actually wonder if the more equal gender roles in Western countries have exaggerated this distinction in appearance: people seek ways to distinguish themselves from the opposite sex, and this is one that is still acceptable.
We may have a point of agreement. I strongly suspect that the entire “pink aisle” phenomenon and the color-coding of nearly everything are a reaction to more equal gender roles. I have a Sears catalog from the 1950’s; there isn’t any color coding and the toys are mostly mixed in together on the same page – probably under the presumption that everybody would just know that the nurse’s kit was for girls and the doctor’s kit was for boys.
– There was a while there in the middle when a whole lot of people of any gender were wearing the exact same teeshirts and jeans. But now they often (though not always) have exaggeratedly different cuts.
I think that’s the reason for a lot of the color-coding - some toys used to be boy’s toys and some were girl’s toys and you didn’t need pink Lego sets because no one was buying Legos for a girl.
Only there was a while there in the middle when people were buying Legos for girls; and the girls got to have the same ones as the boys did. But apparently that Wouldn’t Do, so they changed things around.
The greater colour-coding etc in kids clothes is probably also a result of clothing prices falling - parents a couple of generations ago weren’t willing to buy a whole new wardrobe if their next child was the opposite sex. But my 4 year old daughter is pretty keen to avoid anything she perceives as ‘for boys’, and I strongly suspect little boys are even worse on this front. Children seem more eager to follow gender roles in general compared to adults - maybe it’s a case of ‘you have to learn the rules before you can break them’?