I don’t think you understood what Nametag was saying. He was talking about someone who is quietly enjoying a chicken sandwich, not someone who’s voicing any such comparison.
Heck, I remember the long-gone days of the McLean sandwiches. They weren’t very popular, but I kinda liked them. They weren’t as juicy as a regular burger, but they were leaner and they had enough of a beefy flavor to keep me satisfied. That didn’t stop people from voicing their disgust when they’d see me eating one, though. “That stuff is disgusting!” they’d say, or somesuch rot. Ditto for times when I’d be eating a veggie burger or having turkey bacon. “Why have turkey bacon when you can have the REAL thing?” one roomie voiced loudly.
As GuanoLad said, many people want others to enjoy food as much as they do. Hence the derisive remarks when people choose to deprive themselves a little bit, or when they learn to enjoy food in healthier ways.
Yes, you have. In this very response. You thought it was your place to tell people what they should or should not eat during the holidays. You even admit that it was predictable that someone would take offense, yet they are the ones who are wrong and you are the one who is right.
Now, I’ve learned that said smugness is just something people who have lost weight can’t avoid because they just want to help so many people. But it doesn’t change the societal rules. It would be no different than telling someone not to splurge too much of their money on gifts.
The thing is that everyone knows what they should do. So anyone telling them is either calling them stupid for not knowing, or is intentionally bringing up something they already beat themselves up over and thus is trying to be an asshole.
Because, when it boils down to it, overeating is an addiction–we are hardwired for it to be easy to associate eating with pleasure. Calling it just emotional is an understatement. It’s akin to telling someone they need to stop having sex or they might live 10 years shorter.
I said no such thing. What I said is that it’s a good idea to exercise self-control, i.e. moderation. This is NOT the same as saying what people should or should not eat.
You’re making the same exact mistake that I was lamenting. As I said, that’s a distinction that many people have difficulty making at a gut level.
There is nothing “smug” about saying that eating healthier is better than eating excessively. It’s just plain common sense. It’s not a moral condemnation of anyone; rather, it’s a simple statement of basic principles. Because food has such a tight hold on people though, such remarks will inevitably be interpreted as smug condescension, no matter how carefully and precisely they are phrased.
If it’s so basic, why does everyone need you to remind them? If advice is that “just plain common sense,” they already know, which makes your comment condescending. If it’s advanced knowledge you’re distributing, why bother distributing it to someone who hasn’t asked for it? There is not really a polite way to give unsolicited lifestyle advice to others.
People hate being told what to do. It’s not even always food-related.
/edit to actually answer the OP: I have no idea, and it drives me crazy. I used to have a coworker who commented every time I walked in with a cup from a nearby eatery that “she had no idea how I could drink that sugary stuff” (the place sells various coffee beverage). My drink? Unsweetened iced coffee with a bit of milk. And who cares what I’m drinking? Gah.
OP, could you maybe have a polite conversation with your co-worker? Something along the lines of, “Co-worker, I like working with you, but I don’t really understand why you’re so concerned with what I eat at work. Could you let me know what’s going on with that?”
My SO would like to have more input on my food choices. He’s extremely fit and has a very restricted diet (by choice, not really for medical reasons). It just bugs the hell out of him if he’s eating the grilled chicken breast and I decide to get a burger and fries. He won’t say anything usually, but occasionally will mention that he’s “disappointed” in what I ordered. Seriously? If that’s the most disappointment he can find in our relationship, he’s a Lucky Lucky Man, imo.
I don’t know what your coworker’s motivation is, but my SO’s is usually health- or weight-related. We don’t see each other that often, and he tends to forget that my once-in-a-while burger is not my everyday diet.
I disagree. You’re acting as though any such statement is the same as hitting people over the head with such a remark. There is a broad continuum between complete silence and hitting people with a verbal sledgehammer. As Nametag said though, some people will simply react with paranoia. That’s how touchy this subject can be.
Let me ask you this. Is eating moderately better than overindulgence? Is the answer not reasonably self-evident? If so, does the mere statement of this fact make it an act of smug condescension?
The human mind is capable of tremendous cognitive dissonance. People can acknowledge something to be true on one level, while simultaneously failing to internalize it. That’s why there are all these PSAs against smoking and drunk driving. Everyone knows that such acts are self-destructive, and yet we recognize that people still need to hear it.
If someone says that it’s a good idea to avoid overeating so that we don’t regret our excesses afterwards, I’m not about to take offense – nor would any reasonable person. Only a decidedly unreasonable person would respond by saying, “I already know that! Why are you telling me this? How terribly smug, how terribly condescending of you!”
the smug part is that you honestly seem to believe you’re making (or will make) some kind of difference. Patting yourself on the back for some facebook slacktivism only benefits you. we’ve been steadily growing larger for decades thanks to poor overall dietary choices, and you sit there on your pedestal telling people not to overindulge at holiday dinners. Well done you.
Note: almost all of us go through this kind of phase at some point in our lives. Usually we outgrow it once we get past college.
At the risk of bolloxing this thread - is it ever OK to comment on a coworker’s food choice?
My small office is very international. Maybe 15 or so of us and representing about five/six nationalities.
On occasion I will comment on how delicious the smells of microwaved foods in the lunch room are to me. In one case, I even (jokingly) threatened to mug a coworker for her lunch!
Is this considered dickish? I really was trying to be complimentary - and in truth if she had been smaller than me, I might have considered it.
No, it’s not always wrong. I see nothing wrong with the scenario that you described, for example.
To revisit one of my previous anecdotes, it most certainly is dickish to say that a co-worker needs to have cake instead of fruit. Or to say that a vegetarian should learn to enjoy meat because it tastes so much better.
Methinks you’re painting with an exceedingly broad brush. As with most things in life, the manner in which one states the truth makes all the difference. As I said earlier though, when it comes to food choices, many people will respond as defensively as some SDMBers do.
To use the Facebook example, it would most certainly be inappropriate to say, “You people need to eat the way I do – smaller quantities and less grease!” That kind of statement is unlikely to win any converts. In contrast, there’s nothing objectionable about saying, “I’m allowing myself a few Christmas cookies and treats, but I’m not going to go overboard. I’d like to avoid the guilty feelings that I experienced last year.” It’s perfectly reasonable and appropriate, though of course, this won’t prevent certain unreasonable people from taking offense.
As Nametag said, some people tend to be paranoid when it comes to this topic. It’s the same kind of mindset that prevents people from distinguishing between moderation and utter self-denial. When people adopt that mindset, any statement about the prudence of self-control is bound to be greeted with thoughts of “I already know that! By stating this, you are simply proving how smug you really are.”
Because they’re small-minded busybody fussbudgets who think they know what’s best for everyone else and have no interesting things to talk about besides food. I live with one of those people.