Speaking my mind, on various topics, is offensive as hell to them. They were raised in such a way that there is “the right way of thinking,” and then there is “everything else.”
And if one has the Right Way, then one has a moral imperative to impose it on them what don’t. By whatever means are at hand. Sometimes this simply means yammering at them, and making it clear that one is offended. Other times, it can even involve physical violence. There’s a reason many comics don’t make jokes about Jesus or Mohammed, you know.
Jokes are only jokes. But some people don’t know when to relax.
Well, in your post on mediocrity, you get pretty steamed up about one’s personal choices that don’t align with the narrow path of your approval and auto-definitions. You go so far as to say you have the right to despise them. Why? What did they do to you? It is of no consequence to you if another chooses to fritter their life away in mediocrity. To despise them is to give them relevance and import. Even negative “merit” has energy. Why give it away?
You say you are self-determinant. It follows then, that even having a measuring stick for others is pointless, except to gratify ego. And anyone that needs to measure themselves against others’ behavior is not truly self-determinant, but co-dependent in the prime sense. That just isn’t logical.
Now, I’m not trying to be unpleasant, but you have repeatedly demonstrated your disdain and assumed superiority in every forum. It’s pretty funny, really. And the more serious you become and the harder you try, the funnier it gets…because you think nobody gets what you are trying to accomplish. And we all do!
It’s not offensive to me personally, (or to most) but I have a missionary heart, and I just want to see you healthy and whole, EJ. You must forgive others if they try to mock you out of your shining idealism and push you toward thought. They’re only trying to help.
And besides, I’m pretty sure that I am the center of the Universe.
This is something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately. In fact I was considering a GD post about it just last night.
Often times, when presented with a remark to which I have every right to become offended, I simply “choose” not to take offense. When I do take offense, it’s like I’ve lost control. I’ve allowed a word or opinion or point of view to take over my emotions and generally from there it’s all downhill.
Certainly there are things which I will always find offensive, but there are an awful lot of grey areas where I could go either way in my reaction. I find life to be a lot less stressful when I am able to “choose” not to take offense. It seems to me that many people will rarely, if ever, pass up a chance to become offended. As if they really had no choice at all in how they are to react. I see these people as generally being much more unhappy, miserable, stressed etc. than they really need to be.
Is it not a choice whether we take offense or not? Do I have some ability that is not present in many people? It would take a monumental effort on the part of someone here to actually offend me yet I often see people here taking offense to the slightest comment. I certainly don’t deny their right to be offended, yet I find myself wondering why on earth they are so “willing” to become offended.
It’s a tough concept for me to put into words and if I’ve done a poor job of explaining myself please forgive me, it’s something which I’ve been trying very hard to understand for quite some time now.
What about the members that claim to be “insulted” because I use
US’ers
when I talk about citizens of the USA?
Some even are that rude that they post a “demand” that I cut and paste the word they use from other posts because “US’ers” reads so “offensive” and “insulting” that they get really upset and angry about that.
They also claim to know that I am not dyslexic at all… And so on.
Which I find of course the miraculous realizing of a dream that as far as I’m informed can never become real. If it could I would have realized it since I was a child and began the struggle with words and with figures (some of my teachers are still locked up in a madhouse).
Some start writing MU’er to me and “saalami” or such as “signature” since they claim that they all of a sudden are dyslexic, as I am. (question for moderators here: Is such immature behaviour in line with the board rules on GD?)
I almost come to feel sorry for them that they spend so much of their time in coming over and over again back to this. The more since there is no offense taken by me in whatever they want to write. I don’t even bother to answer them.
But in my opinion their childishness does not picture this website very well.
People who can’t even bring themselves to show a form of courtesy to somoene who didn’t even study their language, has in addition to struggle with this very unpredictable, tiring (exhausting is a better word) handicap and explained both these things not once but almost constantly to them, are in my opinion better off in Kindergarden.
Salaam. A
Most people are misogynists, racists, and homophobes? I think not.
I think in your warped world a person who disagrees with the notion that women are paid less for doing the same job as a man simply due to their gender, because there are often other circumstances to account for this difference besides gender, is a misogynist. In your distorted reality anyone who claims that the problems many blacks in this country encounter can be directly related to their own behavior much more than racism itself is a racist. And that someone who doesn’t think that homosexuals should be making out and engaging in other overt sexual activities in front of children at Disney World is a homophobe.
It’s easier to dismiss someone’s observations and thoughts by simply claiming they hate an entire group than it is to think about what is being said and determining for yourself if these obervations and thoughts might be of some merit. Once you automatically come to the conclusion that something that someone says is hateful, you refuse to hear what is being said. Righteous indignation is a useful tool for avoiding thinking about things that might cause you to change your views about issues.
We all want to be right, to some degree, and if Person A’s opinion doesn’t gel with our own, we become offended, angry, upset or write them off as a fool… I guess, don’t pit me for my opinion please.
Some comments seem custom-made to push others’ buttons though, on purpose.
Actually you don’t ever have to be offended unless you choose to be. Becoming offended is, as you say, a choice. Many religions and 12 step programs teach tolerance and acceptance. They also teach that one should accept that the person who is “offensive” is actually misguided, sick or whatever and entitled to sympathy.
Becoming offended is certainly something a lot of people do and give no thought to what it is costing them. It’s a lot of work going around offended and mad all day. Some seem to enjoy it.
I often find that the manner in which someone expresses their opinion has considerable impact on my emotive response.
If someone states (for example): “I don’t like Marmite” , I’m likely to shrug and take it no further – it is their opinion, and as the OP says, of no consequence to me.
If they state: “Marmite is horrible”, or worse “Marmite is horrible, how can any right thinking person like it?”, then I may feel that my own liking of the substance is being challenged and respond – emotionally it feels like an attack on me, my likes and opinions. I would hope that my reponse it would be polite and along the lines of: “I’m sorry you had a bad Marmite experience, I find it quite pleasant if spread thinly on buttered toast – whole grain bread works well”.
Finally, (and I find that far too many people phrase their opinions in this manner), should they state: “Marmite is the devil’s diarrhea and must be immediately banned worldwide!” then this will feel quite threatening (whether it is truely threatening or not is hardly the issue), and will probably illicit a fairly blunt response.
If I may make an attempt to cut to the heart of the matter:
ExecutiveJesus has started two previous threads (that I’m aware of), both with Philosophy 101 premises, and in both cases he was not held up as a genius, but instead ridiculed soundly.
Now, in an attempt to retain some air of superiority, he’s asking (in effect) “Hey, if I post my questions, and you get hostile, doesn’t that mean you have a problem?”
Well, maybe. It could also mean that, well, you’re an idiot.
Those who advance ignorance in a board dedicated to its reduction offend me.
One excellent method for acting against the goals of this board is to maintain an opinion that is impervious to newly acquired facts and argument.
There are other excellent methods. Continued and sustained ambiguity is one, even in the face of requests to show greater precision.
Making up facts is another.
Refusing to substantiate one’s argument is a third. A good way of doing this is to say, “Hey, it’s just my opinion!”
News flash: If it is really, “Just your opinion”, it is extremely uninteresting, except possibly to your therapist. If you refuse to build and when appropriate modify a presentation to the board - with an aim of both communication and limiting ignorance’s vast territory - then you are merely emoting.
Emoting is fine in certain contexts, of course. This is just the wrong forum for it.
