That would have to be a record and now I’m rooting for it to happen :).
People often hate that which they fear. Thankfully my husband and I both love cats.
Cats are free. Dogs aren’t free. iPhones aren’t free. iPhones are useful and fun. Cats, though, are free.
You hit the nail on the motherfucking head. It’s their god damned arrogant disrespectful fucking teenager attitude that makes me want to crush their heads in.
When I come home, do you know what my dog does? It says “Hey!” in it’s own way, but it gets the message across. My wife, like a normal sentient being that recognizes that another sentient being has entered the same room, says “Hey!”. The dog is happy to see me. The wife is happy to see me.
Do you know what the fucking cat does… It stares violently at me. This pisses me off. I try my best to ignore it.
When I begin to walk towards my bedroom to take off my boots after a hard days work, my dog attempts to stop me because I haven’t yet petted it. It, like my wife, demands that I acknowledge her. I pet the dog. I kiss the wife. I walk past the couch where the cat is…
What happens?..
I’ll tell you what happens…
This stupid insignificant little fuckwad hisses at me, a grown male human who singlehandedly provides food, shelter, and water for the dog, wife, and fucking cat… This dumb shit decides that it’s going to become aggressive towards me.
I attempt at that point to control my anger, which becomes very very difficult, because I realize that I wouldn’t put up with a dog that violently barked at me and was aggressive constantly. I wouldn’t continue to support a wife that yelled and screamed at me whenever I came near. Yet this stupid ignorant little animal that I could break like a toothpick, which I already hate, decides that it’s going to let me know how much it disapproves of my being in it’s vicinity.
I stare at it, and pause for a moment, and when I turn to walk away, it jumps from the couch and climbs underneath the thing, (which it has been hell bent on destroying since day one), probably so that it can continue it’s destructive path, and at that point, I snap.
You were so brave before you stupid mother fucker. What happened?! Did you realize that today might just be the day that I choke the living shit out of you, break your neck, and then feed you to my dog?
I violently flip the couch over and chase the stupid little fucker into the bedroom and close the door. When the badass who just a few moments ago hissed at me realizes that it’s trapped, it begins to meow desperately, calling for someone to help it, begging for me to not hurt it.
…
Okay, so, you see, just like a teenager, this cat thinks it deserves to live in my house. It thinks it can “talk” to me however it wants. It thinks that I have no choice but to feed and water it and clean out it’s shit box. It thinks that it can punish me if I don’t cooperate by terrorizing my every waking moment by destroying my property, or simply keeping me awake as it destroys my property, or if I’m really bad, it decides to piss on my stack of clean laundry.
Well, here’s what that independent free thinking mother fucker can do. He can shut the fuck up crying in the corner. He can realize that if he attempts to retaliate with either claws or teeth that I WILL hurt him, and he can choose the easy route and just let me pick his stupid ass up… And then he can soar through the air as I chunk him out of my house which he never appreciated… The free spirited, all knowing, disrespectful, arrogant little shit, can go and be independent. In the wild. At the onset of winter. With nothing but it’s instincts to protect it because it’s lived indoors it’s whole life and has never ventured into the great outdoors. In fact, he’s never even known that all that shit out there existed.
He can go and live like every other mother fucker who doesn’t respect the rules. He can learn what it’s like to get fucked up by another streetwise cat that won’t tolerate his hissing. He can starve because he never learned to hunt or kill. He can thirst to death because he’s too stupid to know how to locate water. He can freeze because he doesn’t have a god damned home. He can cry and cry and cry at my door until I open it, but guess what…
The little helpless animal that could never lose it’s attitude isn’t coming in. I’m coming out…to kick the fuck out of him until he runs up a tree so far that it’s scared to come down… and that’s where it’ll stay until it either grows some nuts and climbs down, or dies of starvation, because the brainless fucking cat isn’t coming back inside of my house, and I’m not giving it anymore food.
It would have been very easy for it’s pampered lifestyle to continue. All it had to do was recognize that it was the fucking PET, and if I want to god damned PET it, it better sit there until I’m done and pretend to like it. It should have taken notes from the dog. She’s smart. She knows who is in charge.
All it had to do was refrain from hissing at me as if I’m suddenly going to get scared and run away. All it had to do was stop fucking up my shit, and stop pissing on my clothes.
But no… Just a like a teenager, it thought it could do what it wanted. It thought it was hot shit. It thought it could piss where it wanted, refuse to eat the cheap food that I bought it, shit on the floor because it didn’t like the cat litter, and hiss at me when I walk past…
But the motherfucker learned the hard way what NOT to do when you’re a guest in someone’s home.
So yes, you were 100% correct. It is the attitude. That shitty little attitude. The attitude of an ungrateful disrespectful teenager who just doesn’t give a shit… But I bet it wishes it could just come inside and eat a bowl of that cheap food and get warm.
Stupid fucking cat. Thinks it’s gonna live in my house? Ha…
Fuck me? Naw, Fuck you motherfucker. Keep the horse, it might keep you warm.
Sigh…
It better change it’s ways, before this hypothetical situation becomes a harsh reality quickly. The motherfucker is under my couch now, scratching at shit… But lucky for him, I’m just too damned tired to fuck with him right now. God damned pussy.
I like cats in general but they aren’t nice animals. People always make the comparison of ‘dog and cats’ like they are comparable but they aren’t at all. Dogs are truly domesticated animals that learned to work with people for mutual benefit using skills ranging from herding to search and rescue. They are the only animal that can recognize a person pointing at something or sense different moods in their master. Even chimps cannot do that.
Cats aren’t like that so the comparison isn’t appropriate. Cats are not fully domesticated at all and cannot be. You can take a baby lion or tiger out of the wild and raise it as your own. The end result of the behavior will be almost exactly the same as a common house cat (although baby tigers will hate the bathtub a lot less). The only difference is how much damage you will suffer when you rub its belly exactly one too many times.
However, you can’t fault them for being confrontational and rebellious because they were forced into servitude in a house that is clearly theirs from their viewpoint.
If you talked about me the way you talk about that cat, I’d disapprove of you being in my vicinity, too.
If I’m being lazy I might say I hate cats, but I don’t really hate them any more than I hate Komodo dragons or viruses for their horrible habits. I do feel a certain dislike and resentment towards cat owners, though. Did you think, when you got a cat, that it’s great because they’re so little work? Well you were wrong. There’s plenty of work involved in owning a cat, but fortunately for cat owners, their animals distribute the work over a wide area. What is it about cats that makes it acceptable for them to roam free, killing and shitting wherever they please? We wouldn’t tolerate that from any other animal. Farmers can shoot dogs who chase their animals here. I don’t really want to shoot cats, but I kind of resent the fact that it’s illegal.
This isn’t just a minor inconvenience for me. I want wildlife and sometimes my own pets in my garden, and cats constantly undermine my efforts because of their owners’ belief that their desire to play with their cute little furball for a few minutes a day outweighs my own desire to not own a shit-and-death-machine.
I can’t help but like individual cats when they’re being affectionate, though.
If you didn’t piss on my clothes I wouldn’t. However, if you,a human being, lived in my house rent free and with zero responsibilities and daily took a knife to my couch, then I get to talk however i want to you. I get to kick you, and you deserve to get hit with shit. No other animal would be tolerated for long by humans if they were as destructive as a modern house cat, and the owner damn sure wouldn’t sit back and say, “oh it’s okay, it just doesn’t know any better because it’s undomesticated. Poor thing is just going by it’s natural instincts.” … No… a normal human being would either attempt to teach that animal to stop or they would remove it from their home.
Cats don’t get a free pass just because they look cute to some people, and they deserve to be treated like any other animal would. If you wouldn’t tolerate a dog, rabbit, hamster, ferret or human doing it, you shouldn’t tolerate a cat. That’s just fucking retarded. Grow the hell up you cat lovers and stop sucking their dicks. It’s disturbing.
Agreed, however that definitely does not include
If you don’t like the way this cat behaves, find a constructive way to deal with it or find a new home for the cat. It doesn’t give you the right to abuse an animal. That is what’s disturbing here.
catsareterrible, you signed up to this message board just to resurrect an old thread and bitch about cats? Why not find something more constructive to do?
This thread has more lives than a cat’s nine lives.
There are studies that show that violence towards animals can turn into violence towards humans.
You are scary, catsareterrible. Get some therapy for your anger issues.
That guy likes abusing small animals. Do we really want him to actually become more productive?
The news is reporting too many mass murders happening as is.
Hmm, I didn’t mean it that way. 
To keep you all from crying and the cat from dying,I have decided not to harm him at all. I threw him out in the woods today. Perhaps he’ll get eaten by something.
I take no pleasure in harming defenseless animals, I simply refuse to allow the ignorant fuckers to destroy my home.
An age old zombie thread, and STILL no one posted this before me.
Rudyard Kipling explained it all many years ago…
**Just So Stories **by Rudyard Kipling
“The Cat that Walked by Himself”
…
"Then the Man said, ‘Yes, but he has not made a bargain with me or with all proper Men after me.’ Then he took off his two leather boots and he took up his little stone axe (that makes three) and he fetched a piece of wood and a hatchet (that is five altogether), and he set them out in a row and he said, ‘Now we will make our bargain. If you do not catch mice when you are in the Cave for always and always and always, I will throw these five things at you whenever I see you, and so shall all proper Men do after me.’
…
Then the Man threw his two boots and his little stone axe (that makes three) at the Cat, and the Cat ran out of the Cave and the Dog chased him up a tree; and from that day to this, Best Beloved, three proper Men out of five will always throw things at a Cat whenever they meet him, and all proper Dogs will chase him up a tree.
…"
I think it was the snotty attitude that others previously noted upthread that got him.
BTW, I consider myself a cat person. But now we’re getting into dogs, and I’m really liking them (better than our current cat).
As a male cat-preferrer: I reckon it nice of old Rudyard to acknowledge, and accept, the perceived minority of men (“proper” or otherwise), who like cats.
You just joined with a name about how much you hate cats. Revived a thread about cat haters to post some vitriol aimed at cats. Threaten to harm said cat. So either you had already done something to the cat and searched the internet for some place to post about it in the hopes that someone would agree with you and praise your animal cruelty to make you feel less guilty or you’re a sock account for some other cat hating Doper. I have a couple guesses but I’ve probably said too much.
Dogs are a lot smarter. Have you ever heard of anyone outside of a few phony youtube videos having trained a cat? Have you ever noted that a dog instinctively knows that something dropped falls down? A cat can never figure that out. drop something and first she looks up and all around the room. Ya gotta grab her by her scrawny neck and force her head down for her to realize that it fell in a down direction.
My daughter started to notice a strange smell in her living room. She had acquired a cat a few months earlier and noticed that the cat box seemed less smelly than it had the first few weeks. So when I visited I turned the sofa over and what did we discover? The cat had ripped a hole in the cheese cloth beneath the couch and would climb up insied and shit on it and thru it. Love cats? Not me.
pets are annoying unless they are someone elses
cats are pets
therefore