[QUOTE=trupaIt was like she had the Jedi mind control trick in her boobs or something. It really opened my eyes to how much some women can use their looks as a tool to manipulate men into going completely out of their way for a smile, furtive glances at her cleavage, and two minutes of flirting.
Although it can seem demeaning to women, I admit that such power would be hard not to use, especially considering how far it got her. So perhaps that’s why they do it.
So they can say: “Those aren’t the droids you’re looking for…”[/QUOTE]
Damn, I always thought it was my dimples and charm that got me quick results, I never knew that it was Jedi Mind boobs.
[QUOTE=GuanoLadAnd more directly, what the hell are you thinking? I so much prefer sweet and pretty to slutty. Every time. (Not that women seem to care one jot what I think, but still…)[/QUOTE]
The two are mutually exlusive? Women who dress too sexily can’t also be sweet and pretty? And what does their attire have to do with whether or not they’re sweet?
You can’t judge any girl by the amount of skin she shows.
But to address the other parts of your question–Latin Americans just have different ideas about what constitutes “normal” female dress. In my neck of the woods, an affluent town in suburban NJ, women’s normal everyday clothes are pretty conservative. If you were to see a woman just doing her everyday errands, like going to the post office, she’d probably be wearing khakis, loafers, and a sweater. Her makeup would be minimal, and in neutral and “natural” tones. Her hair would probably be in a simple bob. In an analagous town in Colombia, the woman standing in the post office might be wearing high heels and a short skirt, with long hair and brighter makeup. In neither case would the woman be considered “slutty” because in both cases she would be dressed in what’s considered an entirely ordinary and unremarkable fashion.
And I’m not sure I understand why you’re saying that Cat Fight was hurting people. If the 21 year old guy looked at her and felt lust feelings, how is that a “sinful path?” If she appeared sexually mature, then he wasn’t doing anything wrong by having a lustful thought. If the 21 year old guy knew she was only 13 and tried to pursue a sexual relationship with her, then he’s the one behaving wrongly, not her.
I do feel that 13 year olds should not dress in a sexy way, as they are not mature enough to understand how they will be perceived, and the possible consequences of these perceptions. Cat Fight acknowledges this. But though I may not “approve” of the way she dressed, I also fail to see that she was hurting anyone. As she said, what’s the big deal?
It leads men into temptation. The best way to not give into temptation is to stay away from it. You don’t bring an alcoholic to a bar. So 13 year olds that look slutty (and especially if they still look too young) can lead (some) older men into temptation. It also encourages young men (who might morally be more allowed to think of her sexually) to think of women as sexual objects.
If any men of any age are giving in to lust over any women of any age, guess whose problem that is? Hint: not the woman’s. “Cover your boobs, cover your belly, cover your legs, cover your hair and your arms and your face because I can’t control my thoughts and it’s all your fault.” Feh.
I am not a personal fan of the “all slutty” look, as I prefer my expressions of fashion and sexuality more on the classy side, but if they like it and it attracts the sort they’re trying to attract, that’s their business. If you don’t like it, don’t look.
Some guys might not have known that they were particularily interested in a 13 year old until they saw one dresses so sexually. For every person who knows that they are attracted to a particular sort of person, it had to start somewhere. If they are already aware of it, repeating it certainly contributes to the destructive mindset. Why would you want to encourage pedophilia? Young children dressing sexually encourages pedophilia.
I have no desire whatsoever to encourage pedophilia. What I take issue with is your stance that any female dressed in a way that seems overtly sexy to you is “leading” men into temptation, that she is somehow responsible for his reactions and that she must alter her behavior in order for him to control his besetting sin. Maybe you don’t bring an alcoholic into a bar, but neither do you close all the bars lest an alcoholic wander in.
Well, sorry. But that’s pretty much the situation that especially young women need to worry about. You should take responsibility for how you present yourself. Where was Cat Fight’s parents? Remember when parents had a say in what their kids wore? It’s not just for protection against pedophiles. Believe me, Daddy’s Little Girl’s Daddy know just what her male friends think about.
I think that this issue is exactly at the heart of the OP. Why DO some women dress all slutty? The general concensus seems to be, because dressing that way attracts the kind of men that like slutty women. There you go. You dress slutty, you get guys that want slutty women. Don’t complain. You 13 and dress like a slut? You get perverts for boyfriends, some of them might be older than 18.
Okay, it’s a deal. Women will admit that they choose the clothes they have on and men will admit they and they alone are responsible for their own reactions.
Yes, I do, as it was not so long ago I was advising my own daughter on the subject. She has good taste, which I like to think I had something to do with.
I haven’t seen any women here with that particular complaint. And I’m not sure there has been a general consensus, as answers have ranged over “they like it,” “others like it,” “it’s cultural,” “it’s fun,” and “it allows them to manipulate men.” I’m not saying all the reasons are any more attractive than the style (to me, anyway), but attracting a particular kind of man is not necessarily the aim.
I don’t dispute that 13-year-olds need guidance on the subject. I do dispute that it is their fault if they are preyed on by those who ought to know better. Please do not blame women for male incontinence in thought, word or deed. Thank you.
I’m known to dress a bit slutty on occasion. I’m more of a punky type so it doesn’t scream “prostitute”, but I’ve got my share of fishnets, platform boots, sparkley makeup (the sparkly red lipstick is my favorite) and skirts that barely cover my ass. And the only bra I own is a super-padded one for special occasions.
Why?
First off, because I’m young and it’s fun. I look neat. I’m not going to be young and have a body like this forever. I hate covering something i’ll only have for a while in jeans and sweatshirts. And neat clothes are fun. You have to get dressed every day. If you like clothes, why not get dressed in stuff that makes you happy? All my clothes are practical (I only wear shoes I can walk a mile in, I dress for the weather, I don’t wear clothes that hamper my activities) and thats a lot more than you can say for a lot of “decently dressed” women in their pinching heels and binding bras.
Secondly, I’m not a big fan of the society that wants me to dress “decently”. Thats the same society that tells me to spend half my paycheck and untold gallons of gas on a car so I don’t have to walk home at night because it’s “dangerous” (number of reported rapes in my county last year…4. I’d be far more likely to die in a car accident). This is the same society that tells me that I shouldn’t enjoy sex, or at least I should feel bad if I should. It’s the same society that wants to tell me what I should weight, what I should eat, who I should be seen with, where I’m allowed to go and what times I can go there, what level my voice should be and what color my hair should be (ever notice “natural” haircolor include reds and blacks never seen in nature, but are considered perfectly okay in professional settings? I can dye my hair some stupid shade of red and keep my job, but if I dye it the pink I prefer, I’m out of there). Anyway, the point is that I don’t give a lot of society’s rules a lot of credit except when I have to play by them to earn my living. And I think a lot of it’s rules about appearence are arbitrary and silly (I’m always amazed that I can wear a turtle neck, a decent skirt and knee high boots and the three inches of skin between my boots and my skirt will get more attention than if I wore short shorts and a tank top. Anyway, sometimes it’s fun to give a bit of a “fuck you” to it by how I dress.
I also like sex, and I don’t see whats so bad about that. I don’t go picking up on guys or anything, and I don’t like rude comments although I don’t mind guys that are appriciative in a non-sleazy way. The sorority-girl types that get dressed up in silly outfits and go shivering from bar to bar in whatever is the latest fashion in mid-Februrary seem to have a way more disturbing sexuality than I do. But hey, they do their thing I do mine. But it doesn’t disturb me to be seen as sexual. I am.
Dude, women ARE sexual objects to men. Guess what? Men are sexual objects to women as well. That’s what makes the world go round and allows us to have a next generation.
But I disagree totally with the concept of “leading into temptation.” That puts the blame squarely on the girl and even if she’s a idiot and dresses like a streetcorner whore, it is the older guy’s fault - and only his fault - if he puts a move on her. There really is such a thing as self-control in one’s actions.
It’s fun to get all dressed up, and women have different ideas of what looks good. Some have bad taste, some good, but nonetheless there’s a good percentage of us who like to put on our little “costumes” and prance around. If you’ve got it, flaunt it, I like to say. And if you don’t got it, sometimes I guess you still wanna flaunt it. No harm, no foul, and probably no deep issues at hand.
It’s a matter of personality. Some of us are natural born show-offs.
prisoner6655321, are people who wear expensive jewelry encouraging theft and envy in others? Does that mean no one should wear expensive jewelry? Just curious.
I think that most people like to look their best. For some women, their best may mean their sexiest. I don’t wear such things every day, but I have a weakness for outfits that are tight, red, and shiny. I like how I look in them. My husband likes how I look in them. 'Nuff said.
So, prisoner6655321, what you’re saying is that because men cannot control their sexual impulses, and their lustful thoughts, women should not dress in a provocative way?
Did you get lost on your way to the Taliban message board or something? Women are not to blame if men cannot control their lust.
If I had a teenaged daughter I would be concerned if she were “dressing all slutty” because I’d be afraid that other people would mistake her for being older/more promiscuous than she was. This could result in her winding up in a sexual situation she wasn’t ready to handle. I’d want to protect my hyporthetical kid from that. But I wouldn’t spend a single moment worrying about some loser “led into sin” because the sight of my daughter not wearing a burka provoked lustful thoughts in him.
Oooh, let me guess. You dress in a way that incites lust in the criminally minded, don’t bitch if you get raped. What did you expect, flaunting yourself that way? Your honor, the slut was asking for it. Just look at the way she was dressed!
:rolleyes:
Again, women are NOT responsible for the thoughts or actions of men. We’ve got enough trouble being responsible for ourselves, thanks.
